Shaving and Dating
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Robert Prather | Sunday, July 9, 2006 |
It seems to be in fashion to link to Craig’s list lately, so I’ll follow suit.
There’s an interesting “best of” about the rules of dating that is downright hilarious. Among other things, the writer says, in a note to his roommate:
PAY ATTENTION TO THE CONVERSATION. You always complain about uncomfortable silences. Well, d*ckhead, what is it that you’re talking about that leads to silence? You’re doing one of two thing: (1) Talking about stuff that’s boring as hell to most people, that could lead to potential conflicts, or that makes her feel uneasy (topics in this category include: work, politics, sports, religion and sex). If you get into a relationship, you might have long discussions about any of these topics. That’s cool, that’s healthy. But whipping that stuff out on the first date is most likely going to be a conversation killer; or, (2) You’re talking about yourself. You tend to do that a lot. Shut the f*ck up. It’s about her, not you. Keep the conversation going by asking her follow-up questions and offering selective tidbits about yourself. That way, she feels like not only are you interested in her, but also she’s learning about you. It doesn’t matter what questions you ask her, just keep her talking. AND F*CKING LISTEN. Don’t go on auto-pilot–she’ll pick up on the fact that you’re not really listening to her right away.
Most of this stuff shouldn’t need to be said, but it’s worthwhile for some of us (me!!) to see it as a reminder. Last year, in a failed attempt to woo a girl, I was trying to avoid many of the things the guy says here, but failed spectacularly. Now, keep in mind, I was searching for a way to compliment her that didn’t involve violating any of the rules mentioned above. All I could come up with was that she “looked comfortable in her skin”. This sounded much better before I said it. [update: I should add that she seemed very down to earth and happy, which was the original basis for the attraction. I still don't know how to say something like that without being creepy. Probably best to say nothing.]
It’s easy to see any potential for a relationship disappear before your eyes and it happened to me. After saying it, I immediately thought I came across as a stalker, though it’s the first thing I thought when I met her. She seemed to think I came off poorly as well (understatement). The tone of the conversation went downhill from there and all hope was destroyed. I’m currently looking for better, more spectacular ways to rid myself of those pesky second dates if anyone else has any ideas. Please add them to the comments.
Also, shaving seems to be getting more attention these days, for those who are interested.
About the Author: Robert has been blogging since May 2002 and contributing to OTB since June 2006. He has his MA in economics from Mississippi State University.
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I should add that she seemed very down to earth and happy, which was the original basis for the attraction. I still don�t know how to say something like that without being creepy.
"You seem very... down to earth. Happy."
I�m currently looking for better, more spectacular ways to rid myself of those pesky second dates if anyone else has any ideas.
If I'm not the master of this domain, it's only because I rarely had the opportunity for the first date. That I ever managed to get married is proof that there is a merciful God.
But I did learn that taking a date stargazing was okay, but dropping lines about scrutinizing celestial bodies was not.
Moe,
Thanks for pointing out what should be obvious. I wouldn't have thought of it at the time, but I'll file it away now.
Kent,
I'm hoping for the same merciful God / Providence.
I saw you last comment about shaving and I had to jump in. There is a blog I subscribe to that entire topic base is about shaving:
Just my attempt to add useless data into your mind.
There's actually a pretty funny site out there that mentions how to lose a girl or guy in 10 minutes- some are a little out there but others are right on~
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