SPECIALIST HUMOR
 |
James Joyner | Monday, February 2, 2004 |
Anticipatory Retaliation posts a list of 213 mostly amusing quips and observations from a, likely apocryphal, “SPC Schwarz stationed with the Army in the Balkans.”
Some favorites:
7. Not allowed to add ‘In accordance with the prophesy’ to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.29. The Irish MPs are not after ‘Me frosted lucky charms’.
48. I may not use public masturbation as a tool to demonstrate a flaw in a command decision.
55. An order to ‘Put Kiwi on my boots’ does *not* involve fruit.
56. An order to ‘Make my Boots black and shiny’ does not involve electrical tape.
63. Command decisions do *not* need to be ratified by a 2/3 majority.
These are likely funnier if you’ve been in the military.
About the Author: James Joyner is the publisher of Outside the Beltway and the managing editor of the Atlantic Council. He's a former Army officer, Desert Storm vet, and college professor with a PhD in political science from The University of Alabama. He lives just outside the Beltway in Alexandria, Virginia.
Follow James on FriendFeed | Twitter | Digg
- None Found
- OTB Radio - Tonight at 7 Eastern
- Don’t Forget Rent Seeking
- Iraq WMD’s Revisited
- Chrysler Goes Shrill
- Extreme Beer
- Twitter Revolution Will Not be Televised
- The Mumbai Terrorist Attacks and “Open Source” Warfare
- Obama Gets High Marks
- More Franken Ballots Found!
- Chambliss Wins Runoff, Denies Democrats 60 Seats
- Obsidian Wings linked with 94. Crucifixes do not ward off officers, and I should not test that.
I may not line my helmet with tin foil to âBlock out the space mind control lasers'.
Dennis Kucinich will be very disappointed.
Should not taunt members of the press, even if they are really fat, exceptionally stupid, and working for UPI.
He met Helen Thomas?!?
And why *isn't* he allowed to sing "Eskimo Nell" in cadence...? And I'd have thought that a suggestion that Marines might be gay was *always* allowed in the Army (unless Marine Corps officer is present. Of course).
They're funny even if you've never been in the military--Schwartz is a walking MASH 4077 of fun. Loved the link :)
Comments are Closed
