SPECIALIST HUMOR
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James Joyner | Monday, February 2, 2004 |
Anticipatory Retaliation posts a list of 213 mostly amusing quips and observations from a, likely apocryphal, “SPC Schwarz stationed with the Army in the Balkans.”
Some favorites:
7. Not allowed to add ‘In accordance with the prophesy’ to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.29. The Irish MPs are not after ‘Me frosted lucky charms’.
48. I may not use public masturbation as a tool to demonstrate a flaw in a command decision.
55. An order to ‘Put Kiwi on my boots’ does *not* involve fruit.
56. An order to ‘Make my Boots black and shiny’ does not involve electrical tape.
63. Command decisions do *not* need to be ratified by a 2/3 majority.
These are likely funnier if you’ve been in the military.
About the Author: James Joyner is the publisher of Outside the Beltway and the managing editor of the Atlantic Council. He's a former Army officer, Desert Storm vet, and college professor with a PhD in political science from The University of Alabama. He lives just outside the Beltway in Alexandria, Virginia with his wife and infant daughter.
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He met Helen Thomas?!?
And why *isn't* he allowed to sing "Eskimo Nell" in cadence...? And I'd have thought that a suggestion that Marines might be gay was *always* allowed in the Army (unless Marine Corps officer is present. Of course).
They're funny even if you've never been in the military--Schwartz is a walking MASH 4077 of fun. Loved the link :)
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