Terminator 4: Not Anymore the Two-Ply
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James Joyner | Thursday, June 24, 2004 |
NYT — Schwarzenegger, Confident and Ready for Prime Time [RSS]
On fiscal matters, Mr. Schwarzenegger considers himself an old-school Republican determined to ferret out waste. No item is too minor to escape his attention.For instance, since Mr. Schwarzenegger took office on Nov. 17, the toilet paper in the Capitol has been switched from two-ply to one-ply, a saving of thousands of dollars over the years. “It’s not anymore the two-ply,” he said. “Because you know what? We’re trimming. We’re living within our means.”
Insert your scatalogical California quip here. Bonus points for clever entries involving Schwarzenegger movie titles. Surely, this begs for a “The Running Man” or “Collateral Damage” line?
(Hat tip: Steven Taylor)
About the Author: James Joyner is the publisher of Outside the Beltway and the managing editor of the Atlantic Council. He's a former Army officer, Desert Storm vet, and college professor with a PhD in political science from The University of Alabama. He lives just outside the Beltway in Alexandria, Virginia.
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I believe the reality is that people end up using more of the one-ply to compensate the lack of the additional ply, and therefore costing more as well.
It's like the water saving toilets that don't have enough power to clear out the bowl with the first flush. So you flush a second time and end up using more water than if you had a regular toilet.
Yes, it's a peeve of mine. ;-)
"Get to the crapper!"
"Flush me! I'm right here!"
"I can't use de low-flow toilets. Vhenever I flush it, de stuff goes down, but it'll be back!"
"It isn't a toooooomah, that one-ply just doesn't work so well"
You may have to write off your Docker's as +Collateral Damage+ if you are caught going +Commando+ after you did your best impression of the +Running Man+ at the Capitol.
Hey, you may have gotten a +Raw Deal+, just be careful to not work your roids into a +Red Heat+ with that scratchy one-ply.
"The Last Action Hero" used the budget "Eraser" to introduce a "Raw Deal" to the state employees. Capitol employees grumbled that "Conan the Barbarian" was going to "Battle Across Time" and wouldn't soon live it down, but by the "6th Day" they will see if there was any "Collateral Damage." The policy will stay in effect to the "End of Days" of his administration.
"If we cut back, we will "Jingle All the Way" to the bank and the welfare recipients won't have to "Stay Hungry" and think their benefits were abolished by the "Terminator."
As "The Long Goodbye" began, a "Scavenger Hunt" ensued, looking for any leftover two ply. "Liberty's Kids" who visit the Capitol will bring their own TP and might have "The Rundown" done and their two ply confiscated.
So, as the "Total Recall" begins, many are wishing they could give chase and really don't want to feel the "Red Heat" that it could cause to their "Twins" glutes.
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