(Required Princess Bride Reference)
"Then why are you smiling?"
"Because I know something you don't know."
"What is that?"
"I am not left handed."

"Half an inch closer and you'd have been singing the part of a Castarrrrrto."

"I don't know about you, but this would be cooler looking with lightsabers."

[Depp in falsetto:] "Tou-SHAY!"

I said shiver me timbers, not gaff me wedding tackle.

See, right there. Your fly is definitely open.

My place or yours

I don't do the tango

Holding. Holding. Now breathe. Holding. Holding. Relax. Next pose. Holding.....

Fortunately for Johnny Depp, he avoided injury by mere inches. (Or is that unfortunately for Johnny Depp).

The "talk like a pirate day" event in congress turned sour for the democrats when the republicans showed the democrats really didn't have any balls.

Stop for a second.
Hey, I like your gold teeth.
Who's your dentist by the way?
Ah, you did this yourself.
I was thinking of getting mine done, too.
How much do you charge?

Ay, Seinfeld was right. That puffy shirt does make you look like a pirate!

Eeewwww! I wouldn't touch that with a three foot sword.

"AAARRRRGGGHHHH! No really, I mean it! AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!"

Make one move and I'll turn you from a turkey to a chicken in a second.

SPARROW: You know what I paid to have me ears pierced?

TURNER: No, how much?

SPARROW: A "buck an ear!" Get it? Oh, I crack myself up!

TURNER: Hmm, this one's only worth about two bits.

1) Orlando Bloom plays the roll of "Hot Dog Skewer" in the third Pirates of the Carribean.

2) FRANK AND BEANS! You got the Frank and beans!

"I wish I could spit you."

Depp: You know what really sucks? After watching our Pirates movies after the Lord of the Rings movies, I do believe I prefer you as a blond. Lets go back to my trailer for some swordplay, engarde!!

"Sometimes Malvert pee red."

The duel was suddenly to the death after Cap'n Jack opined that 'Galadriel' must be elvish for 'Smelly Pirate Hooker.'

I said "Shiver me timbers!", NOT "Skewer me member!"

I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you! I'm not...

"HAVE AT YOU!"
"Gesunteit!"

Hey everybody, it's talk like a castrated pirate day!

"That's not what I meant when I said you'd be well hung."

"So that's why they call you Captain Sparrow."

"There, now you are properly circumsized."

"This willie isn't meant for you Mr. Turner. Savvy?"

"Are you aware of the penal codes in this colony?"

"Aren't you Jockstrap Bill Turner's boy?"

Captain Jack parries his thrust, if you know what I mean.

"And that's for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory."

"Long John Silver, my ass."

"Calm down boy, there'll be plenty of time for that later."

Hostilities erupted when Depp observed it was talk-like-a-pirate day, not dress-like-a-faggot day.

Caaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrful with me buccaneers!...

Yaaaaarrrrrrr jabbin me plank mate! ...

Removing lice in the 17th Century was a dangerous, but neccessary evil...

When Ahmadinejad continued to press Bush to a debate, the President sent him a picture, believing it was worth a thousand words.

Back in the day many physicians were leery of lancing boils located in certain spots.

Director - "Cut!"

Depp - "You ain't just whistling Dixie."

* Arrr. Ye almost stabbed me little Pirate.

* So, this pirate and an elf walk into a bar....

"The jokes on you Turner, I have a wooden third leg."

"That's a serious violation of the Pirate's Code Mr. Turner."

Japanese game show producers just got another idea!

Cap'n Jack becomes Cap'n Jill.

Cast members of the movie Prates of the Caribbean marvel at the unexpected appearance of a cross during filming. "I have seen the light!" exclaims Mr. Depp.

The action moves onboard ship in Brokeback 2 with barbarous foreplay and plenty of pirate booty.