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BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES #31

James Joyner   ·   Tuesday, February 3, 2004   ·   17 Comments

When Wizbang’s Kevin Aylward started this feature to highlight the worst posts of the blogosphere, he clearly had no idea how much lousy material is out there. Apparently, there is no licensing requirement to start a weblog. There should be.

Anyway, Kevin was finally driven to the brink of madness by having to read all this dreck so he has parceled the task out with the hope that, like radiation, small doses won’t be fatal. This week, I’m testing this theory out at OTB.

WARNING: I read these entries one at a time as they came in. I can not be held responsible for the results of reading them all in one sitting. You have been warned.

In order of submission:

  • Jack Rich of life, liberty, & the pursuit of happiness gives us his take on a book he hasn’t actually read. He explains why the free market will take care of businesses that kill their customers. Not right away, of course.
  • Harvey of Bad Money combines Star Trek geekery with a white boy talking ebonics. Outdated ebonics. It’s not as good as it sounds.
  • Helen, aka Goldie, aka Drama Queen lamely urges you to vote for her in the next lame round of the lame blogmadness tournament. Even though she lost in the previous round.
  • Andrew Ian Dodge of dodgeblogium continues to prattle on about some German cannibal, adding a weak joke at the end. Plus, to add to the international flair, some fellow from the UK corrects his grammar.
  • Erica of swirlspice provides a weak pun followed by a genitalia joke. Both involving Minnesota, no less.
  • Ghost of a Flea provides a musical ode to . . . Ontario. Thankfully, there is no audio.
  • Sean Hackbarth of The American Mind reports on a new problem with TiVo. Needless to say, the problem wasn’t new.
  • Patterico of Patterico’s Pontifications pontificates that people don’t particularly prefer political advertisements during the Super Bowl. Not that they like any kinds of ads during the Super Bowl. Or at any other time.
  • Susie of Practical Penumbra has a post about making a short post. The post isn’t short. Or coherent. Or funny.
  • The Gleeful Extremist tells us about how after watching “Finding Nemo,” he bought some shrimp for his aquarium. It goes on for several paragraphs. None of which explain why he was watching “Finding Nemo.” Or the proper way to batter and deep fry a shrimp.
  • Owen at Boots and Sabers jokes about a news report that pirates are killing sailors. Sadly, the joke did not involve Howard Dean’s Iowa speech.
  • Josh Cohen of d-42 spends several paragraphs telling us why boobs and nipples are no big deal.
  • Kiril Kundurazieff of Sneakeasy’s Joint takes some bad advice from a book on writing. The result involves birth, zippers, and fainting.
  • Interested-Participant explains why organic coffee tastes like urine. And not just at his house, either.
  • The King of Fools shows how he got his nickname by trying to make a Groundhog Day joke involving Janet Jackson. Now, Michael Jackson might have worked. Or even Bill Murray.
  • phelps of The Everlasting Phelps tells us he eats a lot of bad Mexican food, noting that Mexicans do, too. Of course, most of them are desperately trying to come to the USA.
  • Jim of JammerBlog tells the story of an onion eating dog.
  • Mark Hasty of The Bemusement Park has a comedic guide to reading the used car classified ads that’s mostly not all that comedic.
  • Eric at Classical Values has a really, really long post explaining why John Kerry really isn’t a pseduo-Brahmin anti-American gay gigilo who doesn’t love Jesus. Or something like that–I got bored. Did I mention it was long?
  • The anonymous blogger behind Musings from Brian J. Noggle uses a weird news story about yahoos engaging in gunplay over the dorky game of Taboo to brag about his skills at the dorky game Taboo.
    • FILED UNDER: Blogosphere

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    About James Joyner
    James Joyner is the publisher of Outside the Beltway and the managing editor of the Atlantic Council. He's a former Army officer, Desert Storm vet, and college professor with a PhD in political science from The University of Alabama. Follow James on Twitter.

    Comments

    1. Andrew Ian Dodge says:
      Tuesday, February 3, 2004 at 08:15

      Nice post mate. You managed to be snide without being nasty…something that many bloggers can’t manage too well.

      Helpful or Unhelpful: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    2. Kiril says:
      Tuesday, February 3, 2004 at 11:23

      I laughed until I had tears in my eyes at your description of MY entry from sNeakeasy’s Joint.:-)

      Great job!

      BTW, The Writer’s Idea Book IS a great book for people interested in honing their writing skills. :-)

      Helpful or Unhelpful: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    3. Ghost of a flea says:
      Tuesday, February 3, 2004 at 13:12

      Anyone who wants to sing along to the joys of Ontario can find the score linked to my own joyous rendition.

      A place to stand! A place to grow! Ontari-ari-ari-oh!

      Helpful or Unhelpful: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    4. goldie says:
      Tuesday, February 3, 2004 at 15:59

      yes, i am lame. Not everyone can admit that…

      *grin*

      Helpful or Unhelpful: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    5. Dodgeblogium says:
      Tuesday, February 3, 2004 at 08:17

      Weekly link round-up
      BestofMe is up over at Unbillable Hours. Over at Outside the Beltway they have posted the latest Bonfire Meanwhile the latest issue of Dogma is up for your reading and fisking pleasure….

      Helpful or Unhelpful: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    6. Wizbang says:
      Tuesday, February 3, 2004 at 09:10

      Bonfire Of The Vanities – Week 31
      The Bonfire is upon us again… Click the image to visit this weeks edition of the Bonfire hosted at Outside The Beltway….

      Helpful or Unhelpful: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    7. The Bemusement Park says:
      Tuesday, February 3, 2004 at 09:23

      MMMM . . . BONFIRE
      This week’s Bonfire of the Vanities, the weekly celebration of the blogosphere’s pollutant gases, is up at OTB. Yours truly submitted what I thought was my worst effort of the past week….

      Helpful or Unhelpful: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    8. Practical Penumbra says:
      Tuesday, February 3, 2004 at 11:28

      BoV
      Bonfire of the Vanities is up at Outside the Beltway: the worst of the worst is available for your ridiculing enjoyment……

      Helpful or Unhelpful: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    9. d-42.com: the electronic home of Josh Cohen says:
      Tuesday, February 3, 2004 at 11:49

      Boob Update. And then some.
      FIRST UP… Bonfired! By the way, I’m hosting next week’s Bonfire of the Vanities (#32, if you’re interested), so get your bonfireable entries to bonfire-at-wizbangblog-dot-com. They’re due in by next Monday (2/9/04) at 9pm. Anything after that goes to…

      Helpful or Unhelpful: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    10. swirlspice says:
      Tuesday, February 3, 2004 at 12:34

      I take heat wherever I can get it these days.
      This week’s Bonfire of the Vanities, hosted at Outside the Beltway….

      Helpful or Unhelpful: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    11. Aldaynet says:
      Tuesday, February 3, 2004 at 12:42

      C’mon baby light my bonfire
      James at Outside the Beltway has the new Bonfire of the Vanities up, thankfully my corner of the internet escaped his scrutiny….

      Helpful or Unhelpful: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    12. The American Mind says:
      Tuesday, February 3, 2004 at 14:45

      Call the Fire Department
      Outside the Beltway is hosting this week’s Bonfire of the Vanities.

      Helpful or Unhelpful: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    13. Feste...a foolsblog says:
      Tuesday, February 3, 2004 at 15:41

      Bonfire of the Vanities #31
      Outside the Beltway hosts this week’s blog dreck fondly known as Bonfire of the Vanities. While you’re there, James has a must read post of the intelligence inquiry: KEEGAN: INQUIRY POINTLESS Bush had to get out front and form…

      Helpful or Unhelpful: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    14. DramaQueen says:
      Tuesday, February 3, 2004 at 15:57

      bring along your marshmallows
      …as the tensions mount… General Daily Overview: The day begins slowly with the Moon in mellow Cancer. It’s difficult to get enthused about doing things. Since our sensitivities are heightened, we can worry too much. Although we pick up a…

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    15. King of Fools says:
      Wednesday, February 4, 2004 at 10:53

      Free Reading Materials
      Lots of reading is available every day on the net. The weekly ‘Carnivals’ provide a nice collection of variety: Carnival of the Vanities – Large collection of writer selected quality posts. Bonfire of the Vanities – Nasty collection of low…

      Helpful or Unhelpful: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    16. Sneakeasy's Joint says:
      Friday, February 6, 2004 at 00:00

      Exposure of the Vanities
      In the same week that Janet Jackson exposes one of her mammaries ( boobs, breasts, and hooters to you folks in Rio Linda ), a bunch of us bloggers expose ourselves as well, and for many of us, this ain’t…

      Helpful or Unhelpful: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    17. The Bemusement Park says:
      Wednesday, February 11, 2004 at 08:39

      MMMM . . . BONFIRE
      This week’s Bonfire of the Vanities, the weekly celebration of the blogosphere’s pollutant gases, is up at OTB. Yours truly submitted what I thought was my worst effort of the past week….

      —

      Helpful or Unhelpful: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

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