But was he “Natural Born”?

Via the DMNCanada-born Ted Cruz became a citizen of that country as well as U.S.

Born in Canada to an American mother, Ted Cruz became an instant U.S. citizen. But under Canadian law, he also became a citizen of that country the moment he was born.

Unless the Texas Republican senator formally renounces that citizenship, he will remain a citizen of both countries, legal experts say.

That means he could assert the right to vote in Canada or even run for Parliament. On a lunch break from the U.S. Senate, he could head to the nearby embassy — the one flying a bright red maple leaf flag — pull out his Calgary, Alberta, birth certificate and obtain a passport.

“He’s a Canadian,” said Toronto lawyer Stephen Green, past chairman of the Canadian Bar Association’s Citizenship and Immigration Section.

The horror, eh?

For the record:  he is clearly eligible to run for the presidency.  I don’t think that there is a constitutional basis for making him renounce his dual citizenship (although one would guess that he would if he ran, but solely for symbolic reasons).

The headline is a dig as those who argued that Obama was not “natural born” because his father was Kenyan (note the Cruz’s father was Cuban).   There was a lot of convoluted arguments over what “natural born” meant in birther circles.

Interestingly, Cruz’s father fought in the Cuban Revolution (on the side of the dreaded El Che and the brothers Castro (via a different DMN piece):

He was a guerilla, throwing Molotov cocktails and blowing up buildings," Ted Cruz told the Austin American-Statesman for a profile published in January 2006.

[…]

"I have many, many times described the full context of his fighting with [Fidel] Castro — in the broader sense, … not side by side, but on the same side as Castro," he said.

[…]

Ted Cruz said his father described himself as among young teenage boys who fought Batista and allied with Castro’s forces because "they didn’t know Castro was a Communist, what they knew was that Batista was a cruel and oppressive dictator."

Now, I can actually understand why a young Cuban would have fought against Bautista, and even how such a young man might later oppose Castro.  Still, it is interesting how Obama’s birth and father’s biography has been treated in some quarters and the way the Cruz’s will not be in those same quarters (or so it would seem).

At any rate, the background is quite interesting.

FILED UNDER: The Presidency, US Politics, , , , , ,
Steven L. Taylor
About Steven L. Taylor
Steven L. Taylor is a Professor of Political Science and a College of Arts and Sciences Dean. His main areas of expertise include parties, elections, and the institutional design of democracies. His most recent book is the co-authored A Different Democracy: American Government in a 31-Country Perspective. He earned his Ph.D. from the University of Texas and his BA from the University of California, Irvine. He has been blogging since 2003 (originally at the now defunct Poliblog). Follow Steven on Twitter

Comments

  1. Pinky says:

    …Cruz’s will not be in those same quarters (or so it would seem)

    There have been discussions about this in conservative circles, particularly among lawyers. They take it seriously.

  2. Mark Ivey says:

    Cruz the Canadian……. :))

  3. PJ says:

    Fidel Castro gets the last laugh, Ted Cruz is obviously a Manchurian candidate planted by Castro to take over the US.

  4. michael reynolds says:

    Have you checked Cruz’s skin tone? Oh, he’s white? Then he’s clearly a natural born American.

  5. C. Clavin says:

    “…Still, it is interesting how Obama’s birth and father’s biography has been treated in some quarters and the way the Cruz’s will not be in those same quarters (or so it would seem)…”

    Republicans will embrace the double standard…as they always do…and Democrats won’t care much about it one way or the other.
    To be honest…Cruz has done a good job of putting himself in the center of the spotlight…but he doesn’t seem to have much substance to offer the electorate. I’ve heard him called smart…but he says a lot of stupid $hit for a smart guy. He strikes me as a Bachmann level nut-job…full of paranoid conspiracy theories and borderline Joe McCarthy accusations. He probably goes the way of Bachmann and Palin over the long run.

  6. PJ says:

    @Pinky:
    They don’t take it seriously, but they are forced to address it after years of right-wingers shouting about Obama and him not being eligible due to something that doesn’t have to do with the fact that his skin is really dark.

    Since Cruz’s birth situation is almost a carbon copy of Obama’s (with the exception that Cruz wasn’t born on US soil), I’m guessing the justification for why this won’t be a problem for Cruz will be either:

    1. IOKIYAR
    or
    2. SHUT UP, THAT’S WHY!

  7. al-Ameda says:

    Oh my god, Ted’s father was a terrorist? Gee, I wonder if Ted’s father knows Bill Ayres? And Ted is not a “true” American? We’ve got to see his long-form birth certificate, right? Hope you guys don’t mind, but, I’ve placed calls to Orly Taitz and Donald Trump. Somebody needs to look into all of this.

  8. Neil Hudelson says:

    Hehehe, a potential presidential candidate whose “home” country is telling us he is a citizen of their country, whose father was an actual socialist AND engaged in terrorist activities (I’m guessing Ted palled around with him a few times), this is going to be so fun to watch as he gets torn–oh he’s a Republican? Nevermind. As long as he supports treating gay Americans as second class citizens, bash immigrants, and pray to the alter of the gun, he’s A-OK for the Republican party.

  9. edmondo says:

    He might want to be a little slow in renouncing that Canadian citizenship – at least they have single payer heath insurance

  10. trumwill says:

    The headline is a dig as those who argued that Obama was not “natural born” because his father was Kenyan (note the Cruz’s father was Cuban).

    There were all sorts of arguments made, of course, of varying degrees of silliness. But the “strongest” argument against Obama’s “Natural Born” status was pretty straightforward and doesn’t apply to Cruz: Obama was born in Kenya to a mother who had not been a resident of the United States for more than five years after her 14th birthday. Ergo, he was not born a citizen. This technicality does not apply to Cruz.

    Problem one was that it was clear to the unblinkered that Obama was born in Hawaii. Problem two is that even if Obama technically shouldn’t have been granted citizenship, he was. (There is a third potential problem pertaining to whether or not Obama’s parents were actually married – if they weren’t, then the five year rule doesn’t apply.)But though wrong, I thought that argument itself was pretty straightforward.

  11. JKB says:

    He’ll have to renounce his Canadian citizenship because citizenship traditionally represented allegiance and the President of the United States cannot have allegiance to any other sovereign than the U.S. Constitution. A technicality these days as many U.S. citizens have no allegiance to the Constitution or even to the country, but still a matter of common law.

    Perhaps the Dems will leave this alone but I suspect some small group won’t. But their big freak-out is that Ted Cruz attended several Ivy League school and the indoctrination didn’t take. Or did and he’s on a secret mission being crazy smart at it?

  12. JohnMcC says:

    This level of irony is so delicious! Proof that the FlyingSpaghettiMonster has a sense of humor.

    I see that Sen Cruz has released his birth certificate.

  13. gVOR08 says:

    @C. Clavin: With Republicans one can never be sire if they’re stupid or lying. It seemed reasonable to assume Bachmann, and Palin, actually believed the nonsense they were spouting. Cruz’s academic record would seem to make it clear he’s not stupid, or ignorant, so he’s lying. Actually, if you read Harry G. Frankfurt’s book On Bullshit, he’s probably bullshitting, not lying. Prof. Frankfurt’s distinction being Cruz doesn’t even care whether it’s true or not.

    @PJ:

    1. IOKIYAR
    or
    2. SHUT UP, THAT’S WHY!

    I believe you understand perfectly the position the Birthers will take.

    The only sense I can make out of this “natural born” thing is – did either Cruz’s or Obama’s mother have a C section? Inquiring minds want to know.

  14. gVOR08 says:

    @JKB: See above. Do you ever consider the possibility Cruz and the rest of these guys are playing you?

  15. Caj says:

    This is a case for the intrepid investigator Donald Trump. He’s all about natural born citizens. Will he send off another crack team of investigators to Canada to find dirt on Ted Cruz? The team he sent down to Hawaii to find the same on President Obama are still down there. Donald refuses to let them come back empty handed. Assuming Donald thinks Ted Cruz might be a citizen will he accept the short version? But if he himself is running he might insist on the long form but even after seeing that may still deny Ted Cruz to kiss his ring. I doubt very much we’ll have anywhere near as much controversy over Ted Cruz as we did with President Obama. If it’s a Republican, their nominee could come from Mars and they would be acceptable!!

  16. Liberal Capitalist says:

    love it…

    He can’ win (as the clearly wackadoo candidate never does… except for GWB, of course), but it will make anyone that had a problem with the President’s birth certificate just have fits.

    (… well, fits, as we continue asking if Obama not ok, then why Calgary Cruz OK? )

    This will muddy the water, become a sideshow, and result in confusion for the GOP.

    Nice !

  17. @trumwill: There were some who argued that even if he was born in Hawaii to an American mother that has wasn’t a “natural born citizen” because to be “natural born” one had to have two American parents. IIRC one of our long-time commenters made this argument (and I saw it elsewhere). These folks make a distinction, born in fantasy as best I can tell, between being a plain ol’ “citizen” and being a “natural born citizen.”

  18. trumwill says:

    There were some who argued that even if he was born in Hawaii to an American mother that has wasn’t a “natural born citizen” because to be “natural born” one had to have two American parents.

    Arguments were made from all over the place. That I will grant you. I was mostly familiar with the strongest argument. (Strongest of a weak lot, of course.)

  19. ChrisNBama says:

    Where’s the long form birth certificate?

  20. trumwill says:

    @ChrisNBama: Until I see it, I am going to doubt that he is a natural born citizen because I’m not satisfied that he was ever born at all.

  21. Pinky says:

    @C. Clavin:

    Republicans will embrace the double standard…as they always do…

    I admire your alertness. You’re able to denounce people for things they haven’t done yet.

  22. HarvardLaw92 says:

    @trumwill:

    The fun part of that argument is that Obama’s father was, as I recall, already married to another woman in Kenya.

    Which would technically make him illegitimate, and subject him to an entirely different section of the INA, under which he’d qualify for citizenship.

    I never underestimate the ability of conspiracy loons to invent creative interpretations of the law.

  23. HarvardLaw92 says:

    @JKB:

    Actually, there is no precedent in law that would require him to cede his Canadian citizenship.

    We, as a matter of policy, do not consider any US citizen to have renounced his or her citizenship by virtue of having obtained citizenship in another country, either by virtue of birth OR by virtue of actively seeking that citizenship as an adult.

    US citizenship must be actively renounced, in the specific, before a consular officer on foreign soil. There is no way to lose it by implication.

  24. Pinky says:

    I’ve never understood how it’s permissible to have dual citizenship.

  25. HarvardLaw92 says:

    @Pinky:

    Consult Afroyim v. Rusk for further clarity. The general principle is that citizenship is granted by the 14th Amendment, therefore Congress has no power to void it by statute.

  26. C. Clavin says:

    I do not care where he was born…the fact is that he is a radical right wing nut-job.
    He believes life begins at conception…every life is precious…but also wants to be able to execute the mentally ill.
    He thinks Reagan reduced spending and the debt.
    At age 13 he attended the “Free Enterprise Education Center” where he was indoctrinated in the catechisms of the free-market…but he has spent most of his professional career working for, or around, the Government.
    Politifact says that about 5% of what he says is true…and 79% of what he says is, at best, half true…and 21% of what he says is pants-on-fire lying. (I’m trying to imagine how I would do my job if I spent 21% of the time lying)
    He has spent most of his professional career working for, or around, the Government.
    What has happened to the Republican party when this guy, Rand Paul, and Sarah Palin are it’s stars?
    Tragic, really.

  27. HarvardLaw92 says:

    @C. Clavin:

    You will find few Dems who do not want him to run. Indeed, the reaction is instead one of salivating at the thought of him helping turn the GOP primary season into another circular firing squad clown car, a la 2012.

  28. C. Clavin says:

    @ Pinky…
    Republicans have never embraced the double-standard?
    Are you fvcking nuts…Republicans cannot exist without embracing double-standards.
    Freedom of religion for us…freedom to force our religion on you.
    No money to teach art…but plenty of money to teach creationism
    No waiting period to buy firearms…but definitely a waiting period to have an abortion.
    No foreign law shall be considered…but the supoerstitions christianity should guide everything the government does.
    No subsidies for hot school lunches or meals on wheels…but plenty for big oil and agri-biz and defense contractors..

  29. Andre Kenji says:

    @Pinky:

    I’ve never understood how it’s permissible to have dual citizenship.

    Yup. That´s a problem in Latin America – most of the elite in the region either spends a lot of time in Miami or has Spanish Citizenship, so, it´s not related to the problems in their own region.

  30. al-Ameda says:

    @Pinky:

    I admire your alertness. You’re able to denounce people for things they haven’t done yet.

    Well, to be sure, Ted Cruz has not yet furnished us with a copy of his long-form birth certificate, and he has not yet denied that he palled around with a known terrorist (albeit, his father.)

  31. Pinky says:

    @C. Clavin: Fine, if you were supposing that Republicans have taken double-standard positions. (Actually, not fine, becasue most of that comment is screaming non-sequiturs, but whatever). You didn’t suppose that. You didn’t even suppose that every position that Republicans take are double-standards. You supposed that every double-standard is a Republican position. That’s the only way you could say that in the future in this particular case the Republicans will take the double-standard position.

  32. JWH says:

    Has Ted Cruz ever said “eh?” Does Ted Cruz root beer instead of American beer? Does Ted Cruz like hockey instead of American sports like baseball and football?

    We need to make sure his Canadian heritage has not rendered him un-American.

  33. Pinky says:

    @HarvardLaw92: I mean conceptually. To me, citizenship implies first loyalty, in terms of civic responsibility. I don’t understand how an elected official, or anyone who has sworn an oath to uphold the Constitution, could retain the citizenship of another country. I can’t think of a realistic hypothetical offhand, but if California went to war with Austria, what would Schwarzenegger have done?

  34. Pinky says:

    @JWH: Was he ever a villain-of-the-week on X Files or Smallville? Every other Canadian has been.

  35. PJ says:

    @HarvardLaw92:

    The fun part of that argument is that Obama’s father was, as I recall, already married to another woman in Kenya.

    Obama’s father was a Mormon? That’s shocking considering what the Mormons believed up until 1978…
    Are Obama and Romney related?

  36. anjin-san says:

    @ JKB

    He’ll have to renounce his Canadian citizenship because citizenship traditionally represented allegiance and the President of the United States cannot have allegiance to any other sovereign than the U.S. Constitution.

    Who knows where this man’s true allegiance lies, regardless of his going through the motions of showing loyalty to the red, white, and blue? There is more than a hint of permafrost about him, and some say his true fealty is to a foreign queen.

  37. PJ says:

    @trumwill:

    There were all sorts of arguments made, of course, of varying degrees of silliness. But the “strongest” argument against Obama’s “Natural Born” status was pretty straightforward and doesn’t apply to Cruz: Obama was born in Kenya to a mother who had not been a resident of the United States for more than five years after her 14th birthday. Ergo, he was not born a citizen. This technicality does not apply to Cruz.

    Ted Cruz was born in Canada on December 22, 1970, do you know who was prime minister of Canada back then? Pierre Trudeau. Don’t you think he was in on Castro’s plan to bring down the United States? The “birth certificate” isn’t worth anything. Ted Cruz was born in Cuba, the son of Fidel Castro, and then flown to Canada where he was swapped with a new born child that then suffered a _very_ late term abortion. His father is in on it (he had to find an American woman to trick), but his mother doesn’t have a clue.

  38. PJ says:

    @JKB:

    But their big freak-out is that Ted Cruz attended several Ivy League school and the indoctrination didn’t take.

    I’m amazed that you’re not freaking out about it. How was he able to? How did he pay for them? Was it due to affirmative action?

  39. C. Clavin says:

    @ Pinky…

    “…You supposed that every double-standard is a Republican position…”

    No…but given actual history it’s safe to assume that every Republican position is a probably a double-standard.
    Newt Gingrich chasing Clinton for an extra-marital affair…while carrying on an extra-marital affair.
    Countless small-government enthusiasts spending careers in Government.
    Bailing out Wall Street but not Detroit.

    A major problem for today’s Republicans is aligning what their ideological rhetoric with the reality of what they do. Double standard, non-sequitor, hypocrisy. Call it what you want.

  40. the Q says:

    Pinky,

    …….”You’re able to denounce people for things they haven’t done yet. “……

    i suppose I could predict that the sun will rise in the east tomorrow….even though it hasn’t done it yet.

    And I have a 99.9999999999999999999999999999999% chance I will be correct. Same as C.Clavin prediciting wingnut behavior a priori.

  41. C. Clavin says:

    “…But their big freak-out is that Ted Cruz attended several Ivy League school and the indoctrination didn’t take…”

    Actually the indoctrination did take…both when he went to the “Free Enterprise Education Center” at age 13…and later under the tutelage of Robert George at Princeton, an apostle of so-called “natural law”…a concept that, taken to it’s ultimate conclusion…would grant citizenship to single celled organisms.
    Cruz is a poster-child of the effectiveness of brain-washing. But I guess it doen’t qualify as brain-washing when you are one of the brain-washed. Think about it JKB.

  42. al-Ameda says:

    @Pinky:

    I can’t think of a realistic hypothetical offhand, but if California went to war with Austria, what would Schwarzenegger have done?

    He would have done what any alpha male would have done, sided with California because there are better looking babes in California than in Austria. Plus, as he knows well, California uber alles.

  43. C. Clavin says:

    I wonder if the same people who made it a point to refer to the President as “Barrack Hussein Obama” will now refer to Mr. Cruz by his real name…Rafael Edward Cruz….talk about a snobby Ivy Leaguer.

  44. HarvardLaw92 says:

    @Pinky:

    I think that is probably the low-hanging fruit argument. I honestly don’t care where the guy was born. I care about his political beliefs, which frankly leave me feeling like I need a hot shower and a couple of bars of soap.

    If there is any value at all to the citizenship angle, it will be found in the schadenfreude of watching the Tea Party folks try to sidestep the obvious hypocrisy inherent in giving Cruz a pass on the same arguments that they made against Obama.

    Or perhaps in watching Cruz try to explain why the past of Obama’s father is relevant, but the past of his own father isn’t. It does promise to be entertaining.

  45. Caj says:

    Seeing as Ted Cruz is a radical nut job I bet Canada were more than happy to see the back of him. I’d like to see the back of him as well!

  46. Pinky says:

    @al-Ameda:

    there are better looking babes in California than in Austria

    Not in my experience. Maybe in raw numbers, but not in percentages.

  47. Pinky says:

    @the Q: But what about raaaaacism? If your two presuppositions are that (1) Republicans will do anything as long as it’s got a double-standard to it, and (2) that Republicans are raaaaacist, how do you guess what Republicans will do in response to Ted Cruz? You’re facing the same problem Matt Groening faced early on – you’re drawing a cartoon character that’s neither realistic nor consistent. You’ve got to choose one or the other.

  48. mantis says:

    Is he wearing an American flag pin in every photo in which he appears? I understand that’s another requirement from the wingnut crowd. It was for Obama, anyway.

  49. Pinky says:

    @HarvardLaw92: You are also able to denounce people for things they haven’t done yet. Impressive. Could I play too? Christie is wrong for, um, privatizing the Army? And Palin supporters should never have burned down that courthouse?

  50. PJ says:

    @mantis:

    Is he wearing an American flag pin in every photo in which he appears? I understand that’s another requirement from the wingnut crowd. It was for Obama, anyway.

    I’ve heard that Ted Cruz has a giant Canadian flag tattoo on his back. I demand that he’ll show us all his back so that we can make sure that he’s not a secret Canadian. When he’s with very close friends he also pronounces “about” like a Canadian…

  51. PJ says:

    @Pinky:
    Obama is a secret Muslim.

  52. mantis says:

    @Pinky:

    If your two presuppositions are…

    There’s your problem. It’s always easy to win an argument by inventing premises for your opponent.

    If you don’t think at least some birthers will tie themselves in knots to absolve Cruz of the same “crimes” they accuse Obama of, you’re a fool. If you don’t think others will go after Cruz on the basis of his ancestry, you are doubly foolish.

  53. CSK says:

    It’s probably too late in the thread to address this question, but Cruz’s birth certificate records his mother’s birth surname as Wilson. Yet every biographical piece I’ve read on him says his mother’s birth surname was Darragh. So which is it? Wilson or Darragh?

  54. Pinky says:

    @mantis: Excellent reconciliation. Some will have double standards, and should be denounced for such, and others will be raaaacist, and should be denounced for that. That covers all possible outcomes and assigns bad motives to all concerned.

  55. mantis says:

    @Pinky:

    That covers all possible outcomes and assigns bad motives to all concerned.

    That’s not my position; you came up with that on your own, per usual. Carry on.

  56. Pinky says:

    @mantis: You’re right. I overstepped. Sorry.

  57. @Pinky:

    @JWH: Was he ever a villain-of-the-week on X Files or Smallville? Every other Canadian has been.

    Okay, I usually disagree with everything Pinky says, but that one made me laugh, especially since I’ve been going through and watching my Stargate SG-1 Complete Series Collection DVD set. While watching, I’ve been trying to keep track of the different shows all the different prominent guest stars (as well as stars) have been.

  58. Andre Kenji says:

    Ted Cruz is not a Canadian. Canadian Conservatives are sane.

  59. CSK says:

    Hey, am I the only person who’s noticed the mother’s apparent surname discrepancy?

  60. Pinky says:

    @Timothy Watson: I just saw an SG-1 episode last night with Michael Ironside. You’ve got to check out his imdb listing. You name a B-quality science fiction show or movie, he was in it.

  61. Andre Kenji says:

    @CSK:

    Yet every biographical piece I’ve read on him says his mother’s birth surname was Darragh. So which is it? Wilson or Darragh?

    Both. The Darragh was probably excluded from his Birth Certificate due to space.

  62. CSK says:

    @Andre Kenji:

    So that would make her Eleanor Elizabeth Wilson Darragh. Or Eleanor Elizabeth Darragh Wilson. It’s possible, I suppose, but not likely, since she’s simply referred to as “Eleanor Darragh” everywhere else that I’ve seen. Her father was Irish (hence the Darragh) and her mother of Italian ancestry, so “Wlison” clearly wasn’t the maternal patronymic.

    It’s just odd.

  63. Sound the Alarm! says:

    Who can know what dark and sinister thoughts are in the mind of this foreign born man? With his Canado-Mex heritage, it is not hard to believe that he would like to see the good old USA smashed between the Canadian hammer and the Mexican anvil.

    Does anyone here want to see the true blue girls of Big Rich Texas taken from their reality show to become sex toys for swarthy men south of the border? I fear this is where we are headed.

    Do not be fooled by his fancy Nancy debate talk. What kind of man prefers debate club to honest industrial arts classes anyway?

  64. PJ says:

    @al-Ameda:

    Hope you guys don’t mind, but, I’ve placed calls to Orly Taitz and Donald Trump.

    Mrs Taintz has decided that since Obama has corrupted the law, it doesn’t matter if Cruz is or isn’t a natural born citizen.
    I think she hit the jackpot here. IOKIYAR while at the same time attacking the President….

  65. HarvardLaw92 says:

    @Pinky:

    No, but thanks for going the hysterical melodrama route. I’m judging him on what he has already said.

  66. HarvardLaw92 says:

    @PJ:

    She is a piece of work, isn’t she? 😀

  67. PJ says:

    While we are at it, a birth certificate proves nothing. The mother may very well have had an affair (that doesn’t matter for either Obama or Cruz since both have American mothers), the baby could have been swapped at birth by mistake or the parents could have used a sperm or egg donor, or maybe even both…

    If proving that a candidate is eligible suddenly is so important, despite all the kind of records that exists, then maybe it should be done properly? DNA test the candidates…

  68. HarvardLaw92 says:

    @PJ:

    We could invent a time muh-sheen, then go back and verify the coitus!!

    “Excuse me, are you Rafael Cruz?”

    “Si”

    “and you are Eleanor Elizabeth Wilson Darragh?”

    “Yes”

    “OK, you may return to your farking. Have a nice day”

  69. bill says:

    @C. Clavin: so he sounds like a more conservative obama i guess? !

    @michael reynolds: “white hispanic”!

  70. Rick Almeida says:

    @PJ:

    Trump also has signed off on Cruz, saying something like he “doesn’t know” if Cruz is eligible and that it’s “up to him [Cruz]” to determine.

    Small wonder Republicans want their primaries to be seen by as few people as possible.

  71. @Pinky: I watched that episode a couple days ago and recognized him. He was in one of my favorite episodes of Andromeda!

  72. C. Clavin says:

    @ bill…
    Where’s the paralel? Other than in your own mind?

  73. Barry says:

    @Pinky: “There have been discussions about this in conservative circles, particularly among lawyers. They take it seriously. ”

    Nope. Or at least there’s been no evidence.

  74. fred says:

    After 40 plus yrs hypocrite Sen Cruz decides he no longer likes being Canadian and is not for Affirmative Action Programs which allowed him to attend Harvard Univ. He’s a trip as is the whole GOP and TP supporters.

  75. Pinky says:

    @Timothy Watson: If you’re ever looking for a volunteer to help you with an experiment, don’t choose Michael Ironside.