Caption Contest
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Monday, May 21, 2007
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About Rodney Dill
Rodney is an IT Implementation Consultant in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
Wow, he’s even more “presidential” than Bill!
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Sooo Hillary, wanna play ‘Cat’s Cradle’?
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Well ….(Ahem) So Big!
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Her: I wonder if he has noticed that I look like Jackie Kennedy with these pearls?
Him: I wonder if she realizes she looks like Eleanor Roosevelt in that suit?
Tammy
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Obama: “Two words you will never hear me say: lockbox.”
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Obama: “Ready . . draw!”
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Hillary: “God, he’s daydreaming about the interns already.”
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Hil: “Well, if it isn’t Mr. Tall-dark-and-loathesome . . . “
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And now for the bonus round. This is the $64000 question; Who, in this picture, has more testosterone?
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“And I have learned from reliable sources that the chair behind the desk in the Oval Office will accomodate asses no wider than this…”
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Two Stupid Liberals Talking To Each Other
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“Hil, you smell something? I do. With nearly 20 years of Presidents named Bush or Clinton, the smell is change.”
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Thought bubble above Hillary’s head: “Don’t look down. Don’t look down. It will just encourage him. Besides, he can’t really be that big. I mean I’ve heard rumors but he can’t really be that big can he?”
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While neither of the two wax figures really appeared life like, the Hillary wax figure look like she appears in life.
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While many gave kudos to Obama’s Frankenstein impersonation, Hillary’s catholic priest fell flat.
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Hillary’s mother: “I warned her that if she kept making those faces like that her face would freeze up and be permanent, but did she listen?”
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Hillary: “Damn, who would have thought he knew how far light travels in one nanosecond.”
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Hillary to Obama: anything you can do I can do blacker…I can do anything blacker than you!
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Damn!! looks like I’m trumped!!
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The great GOP fear: a black man talking to a white woman.
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Individual syllables began to take seconds to pronounce as each candidate strove for an ever longer Southern drawl with each answer.
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The great DEMOCRAT fear: fear itself.
The great DEMOCRAT fear: Look! There’s
ElvisFred Thompson!The great DEMOCRAT fear: someone might actually pay attention to what their candidates are saying.
The great DEMOCRAT fear: presenting outdated stereotypes as witty repartee says more about their ossified thinking than about the opponents they imagine they are lampooning.
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I think I hit a nerve.
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I have a Dream! (Obama)
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“Once you go Barack, you never go back!”
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I like big butts and I cannot lie, you other brothers can’t deny that when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face you get sprung…
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“I believe we should measure politicians by height rather than girth.”
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“Missed it by that much.”
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It suddenly dawns on Hillary that maybe a couple of visits to a tanning salon would do wonders for her televison appeal.
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“I understand the lamp missed Mr. Clinton by this much…”
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“I mean, you got the first mainstream American woman who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking girl…”
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Hillary: my husband’s is longer than that.
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“I have a dream. Senator Clinton would call it a nightmare.”
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Obama: I like big butts and I cannot lie….
Hillary: WTF?
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Obama: And another thing, Mrs. Clinton: Donald Sensing posts captions on OTB’s caption contest, yet doesn’t win. I ask you – is that fair? Is that what America is supposed to be about? I envision a country where Donald Sensing wins OTB caption contests! But you don’t. Why not?
Hillary (thinking as Obama talks): Dang, I wish I could wear a dark suit, red tie and stand real tall. A dark suit I got, but one out of three doesn’t cut it. Man, I wish I could wear a red tie. They look so … presidential. And who the heck is this “Sensing” guy? Does he have a red tie? Yeah, probably. Ya know, I’m just screwed.
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Barack: I see a day when Donald Sensing wins an OTB caption contest and is hit with a huge bill for exceeding his bandwidth by a huge margin. This is the America I’m working towards.
Hillary: Doesn’t care of Sensing’s opinion of him, does he?
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Her: Ahem..You’re assuming I go for that kind thing, aren’t you, Mr. Obama?
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“I was standing in line at Walmart and I had this epiphany. I was telling the man next to me. He dialed 911. ‘Hey Judy. A guy here at WalMart has a problem with his fanny.’”
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…so I took her head in my hands like this…and that’s how she got the pearl necklace.
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“So Senator Clinton, was the cigar this big?”
“That woman in the front row has HUGE tracts of land.”
::Hillary thought balloon:: “God, the Robot dance is so 1980s.”
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1) Obama: So Senator Clinton, why do you always look constipated at these discussions?
2) Obama and Hillary on the only TV Station willing to carry a Democratic debate (or one they feel comfortable with). WGN-New York.
3) The Nutroots choices: a new, “clean” black man; or an experienced, “nuianced” woman. Decisions, decisions.
4) SNL’s church lady. “Well isn’t that special.” When Obama describes his shoe size.
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“…So my Grandma said,’I hopes ya git sum good white candidates boy’.(sobbing)And my only regret is…that my Papas’ tribe stoned her to death before she could see this.”
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“…So in my administration,the lockbox that will hold native born white folks rights will be about this wide,by this high,by this…”
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“No,you’re cool baby. This is about as wide as I like my hos’ hips to be anyway.”
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“Now in my opinion,anything smaller than this ISN’T an abortion. So ladies,if you have some little premature brat that’s all colicky and crying and stuff,don’t worry,MY judicial appointees will have passed ‘The Test’.”
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“Look here you five-faced b**ch, how ’bout we drop the cue cards and see who can out BS who ?”
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Damn, if blackface don’t improve Bill’s appearance.
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