NYC Officials Shut Down Vibrator Giveaway [Updated: Bloomberg Backs Down, Giveaway Starts At 5 Today]

A promotional event in New York City unlike any other was shut down by the NYPD:

They must have rubbed Mayor Bloomberg the wrong way.

City officials pulled the plug on a vibrator giveaway by the Trojan condom company yesterday, disappointing potentially thousands of pleasure-seeking women who hoped to get their hands on some no-cost sex toys.

“I’m 57 years old. I should be able to get a vibrator!” declared Linda Postell, who was among hundreds of women (and men!) waiting in the heat on Pearl Street only to be left unsatisfied. “I have a problem with the smoking ban, and the soda ban — and now this!”

Trojan sent tingles of excitement across the city when it announced the giveaway of some 10,000 vibrating sex toys from hot-dog-style pushcarts.

Trojan began by handing out about 400 free vibrators without incident on Sixth Avenue in Rockefeller Center between 11 a.m. and noon.

The giveaways were scheduled to start at 4 p.m. in the Flatiron District and near the South Street Seaport.

As carts arrived at each location, nearly 300 women — and quite a number of guys — queued up.

But instead of climaxing in a successful giveaway, the promotion was prematurely interrupted by City Hall, which sent a dark-suited representative to put the squeeze on Trojan’s “Pleasure Carts.”

The people in line didn’t get much pleasure from the intervention by city officials:

The decision to nix the giveaway clearly caused the mayor’s voter satisfaction ratings to plummet among the empty-handed thrill seekers.

“There’s a lot more important things the city should be worried about than a free-vibrator giveaway,” complained Park Slope bar owner Melody Henry, 42. “Bloomberg doesn’t want anyone to have fun. You can’t have a giant soda. You can’t have a vibrator.”

It’s a good thing that Bloomberg won’t be running for re-election after this.

Update: The City is backing down:

Mayor Bloomberg has finally decided to let freedom buzz.

City Hall has taken the clamps off of a free vibrator give-away by the Trojan company, granting the sex-toy makers the proper permits for their promotion.

The vibrator bonanza — in which the company plans to give out some 10,000 free sex toys — will start at 5 p.m. today on the south side of 14th Street between 9th and 10th Avenues.

The event is scheduled to end at 7 p.m.

Please note. The City of New York has advised that it will be unavailable after 7pm this evening.

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Doug Mataconis
About Doug Mataconis
Doug Mataconis held a B.A. in Political Science from Rutgers University and J.D. from George Mason University School of Law. He joined the staff of OTB in May 2010 and contributed a staggering 16,483 posts before his retirement in January 2020. He passed far too young in July 2021.

Comments

  1. John Burgess says:

    NYC streets can’t handle a couple thousand people without a permit? Really?

    Or is it that people can’t have any fun without the city getting its share of the booty?

  2. Note to self: watch The Daily Show tonight.

  3. So does this make Bloomberg a literal buzzkill?

  4. CSK says:

    Maybe I’m misunderstanding this, but isn’t a condom manufacturer who gives away self-pleasuring devices sort of undercutting his own business rather than promoting it?

  5. JKB says:

    The spoilsport, who declined to identify himself, told Trojan’s reps at the Flatiron location that they had to shut down because of the size of the crowd that had gathered.

    Seems to me, that once those in line had their “gift” they wouldn’t hang about on the street.

    But the mayor’s office probably had it right, the government man wasn’t paid off so fun for the peasants.

    No smoking, no guns, no sodas, no vibrators. New York City just isn’t any fun anymore.

  6. mantis says:

    Post writers do love their innuendo, don’t they?

  7. rudderpedals says:

    We’ll never know if the buzz in the hand is worth two in the bush. Thanks a lot Miss Nanny Permit.

  8. Eric says:

    The love the large amount of sexual puns in the article.

  9. JKB says:

    So Bloomberg backs down on the vibrator ban? Those other people just ate chicken to show their support but not old Bloomy, he gets to the bottom of things.

  10. John Peabody says:

    I hear a Beach Boys song right about now….

  11. Vast Variety says:

    The shear number of puns in that article is just hilarious.

  12. @CSK:

    3 reasons on why a condom manufacturer might want to give away vibrators:

    1) Best practice recommends barrier protection on sex toys used for insertion.

    2) Sex toy usage is not neccessarily a solo activity

    3) If more people are getting off with their new sex toys by themselves, it increases the probability of them getting off with someone else as well….

    4) Trojan is trying to market themselves as a suave, savvy sexual satisfaction service provider?

  13. John Burgess says:

    @CSK: Imagination, CSK, imagination… use it.

  14. Carson says:

    I feel that Mayor Bloomberg is right to disallow this type of trash to be given out in public. If people want this garbage, they can get them at their local swing club. The mayor needs to clean the streets up and quit worrying so much about what people eat and drink. I talked to some people who went to NYC recently and were disgusted at some of the junk that went on in broad daylight. Evidently, no longer a place for families. Sad!

  15. a snarky bastard says:

    @Carson: Manhatten has not been safe for families ™ since at least 1656

    New York is clean, it is busting and it is safe, so get over yourself and leave Sodom and Gomorroh so the locals can enjoy their lives without having to run a slack-jawed moralizing tourist over

  16. Neil Hudelson says:

    If people want this garbage, they can get them at their local swing club.

    I like the idea that there’s a ‘local swing club.”

    “Where are you going, honey?”

    Oh I’m just bopping down to Paddy O’Swingers for a pint with the buddies, maybe some casual sex.”

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  18. Mike says:

    @John Peabody: I suddenly have the urge to listen to Steely Dan.

  19. danimal says:

    Should he now be called Mayor Michael “Buzz off” Bloomberg?