• Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Subscribe
  • RSS

PETA President Ingrid Newkirk Is Nuts, Or At Least Needs A Nice Juicy Steak

If you need any further proof of that, just read her will:

DIRECTIONS FOR THE DISPOSITION OF THE REMAINS OF INGRID NEWKIRK

As someone who has dedicated a part of my life to the alleviation of animal suffering in various parts of the world, it is my wish that upon my death, my body be used to further that same goal. It is with this purpose in mind that I make the following directions and designations relating to the disposition of my final remains. I make these directions and designations after thorough consideration and pursuant to my firm belief in the purposes for which they are made.

1. Upon my death, it is my wish that my body be used in a manner that draws attention to needless animal suffering and exploitation. To accomplish this, I direct that my body be donated to People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), 501 Front Street, Norfolk, Virginia 23510, to be used in whatever manner it chooses in order to accomplish the specified purpose, with the hope that most of my body will be put to use in the United States, with parts also dispatched to awaken the public consciousness of governments and citizens in the United Kingdom, where I was born, in India, my beloved childhood home, and in Canada, Germany, and France.

2. While the final decision as to the use of my body remains with PETA, I make the following suggested directions:

a. That the “meat” of my body, or a portion thereof, be used for a human barbecue, to remind the world that the meat of a corpse is all flesh, regardless of whether it comes from a human being or another animal, and that flesh foods are not needed;

b. That my skin, or a portion thereof, be removed and made into leather products, such as purses, to remind the world that human skin and the skin of other animals is the same and that neither is “fabric” nor needed, and that some skin be tacked up outside the Indian Leather Fair each year to serve as a reminder of the government’s need to abate the suffering of Indian bullocks who, after a life of extreme and involuntary servitude, as I have seen firsthand, are exported all over the world in this form;

c. That in remembrance of the elephant-foot umbrella stands and tiger rugs I saw, as a child, offered for sale by merchants at Connaught Place in Delhi, my feet be removed and umbrella stands or other ornamentation be made from them, as a reminder of the depravity of killing innocent animals, such as elephants, in order that we might use their body parts for household items and decorations;

d. That one of my eyes be removed, mounted, and delivered to the administrator of the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency as a reminder that PETA will continue to be watching the agency until it stops poisoning and torturing animals in useless and cruel experiments; that the other is to be used as PETA sees fit;

e. That my pointing finger be delivered to Kenneth Feld, owner of Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus, or to a circus museum to stand as the “Greatest Accusation on Earth” on behalf of the countless elephants, lions, tigers, bears, and other animals who have been kidnapped from their families and removed from their homelands in India, Thailand, Africa, and South America and deprived of all that is natural and pleasant to them, abused, and forced into involuntary servitude for the sake of cheap entertainment;

f. That my liver be vacuum-packed and shipped, in whole or in part, to France, to there be used in a public appeal to persuade shoppers not to support the vile practice of force-feeding geese and ducks for foie gras;

g. That one of my ears be removed, mounted, and sent to the Canadian Parliament to assist them in hearing, for the first time perhaps, the screams of the seals, bears, raccoons, foxes, and minks bludgeoned, trapped, and sometimes skinned alive for their pelts; that the other ear be removed, preserved, and displayed outside the Deonar abattoir in Mumbai to remind all who do business there that the screams of the cattle who are slaughtered within its walls are heard around the world;

h. That one of my thumbs be removed, mounted upwards on a plaque, and sent to the person or institution that, in the year of my death or thereabouts, PETA decides has done the most to promote alternatives to the use and abuse of animals in any area of their exploitation;

i. That one of my thumbs be mounted in a downward position and sent to the person or institution that, in the year of my death or thereabouts, has gone against the changing tide of societal opinion and frightened and hurt animals in some egregious manner;

j. That a little part of my heart be buried near the racetrack at Hockenheim, preferably near the Ferrari pits, where Michael Shumacher raced in and won the German Grand Prix;

k. That anything else be done with my body that PETA believes will serve to draw attention to and so abate the plight of exploited animals.

3. As a resident of Virginia, and pursuant to Virginia law, including

§ 54.1-2825 of the Virginia Code, I designate PETA as the “person” who shall make arrangements for carrying out the directions contained in this document for the disposition of my remains upon my death. If, at any time, PETA is unable or unwilling to carry out these directions, I designate, in the alternative, Daniel Mathews as the individual who shall make arrangements for carrying out the directions contained in this document for the disposition of my remains upon my death. If Daniel Mathews is unable or unwilling to carry out these directions as required, I authorize either of the two listed “persons” in this paragraph to designate a third party to make arrangements for carrying out the directions contained in this document for the disposition of my remains upon my death.

4. While I prefer that my directions be first executed in the United States, I also direct that parts of my body be transported to the United Kingdom, of which I also am a citizen, and to India, my beloved spiritual home, to be executed there. If my directions cannot be executed in any of these countries, I authorize the transport of my remains to any location where my disposition directions, in whole or in part, may be lawfully executed.

5. I authorize the person carrying out these directions to deviate from them in any manner he or she deems appropriate to further the purpose expressed herein. If any provision or provisions of this document shall be held to be invalid, illegal, unenforceable, or in conflict with the law of any jurisdiction, the validity, legality, and enforceability of the remaining provisions shall not in any way be affected or impaired thereby.

I support Ms. Newkirk’s right to do whatever she wants and think whatever he wishes, but I can’t help but think that she’s missing out on a heck of a lot by not spending a night enjoying an excellent steak at Morton’s before the time comes.

H/T: The Right Sphere

Related Posts:

About Doug Mataconis
Doug holds a B.A. in Political Science from Rutgers University and J.D. from George Mason University School of Law. He joined the staff of OTB in May, 2010 and also writes at Below The Beltway. Follow Doug on Twitter | Facebook

Comments

  1. I’m reminded of a proposal to make June 11 (Ingrid Newkirk’s birthday) National Bacon Double Cheeseburger Day just to piss her off.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 5

  2. Sejanus says:

    Old news, I already heard about it a couple of years ago.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  3. wr says:

    Boy, it’s amazing how much contempt you have for people who actually believe in things.

    I’m no great admirer of her cause or her methods, but she has dedicated her life to opposing what she sees — and can convingly portray — as cruelty and brutality.

    To you, the only proper response is to laugh at her. “I can’t help but think that she’s missing out on a heck of a lot by not spending a night enjoying an excellent steak at Morton’s before the time comes”

    It’s sadly similar to your obsessive complaining about “drum circles” from anyone whose politics are to the left of yours. For a self-styled outsider, you sure are slavish in your dedication to the status quo.

    Highly-rated. Helpful or Unhelpful: Thumb up 31 Thumb down 5

  4. JKB says:

    Old news? I read this over 5 years ago when I worked near their office. First rule never attend a bbq at PETA. It was around the time when they were picking up strays from the shelters in NC, killing the in the back of panel van, then dumping their bodies in random dumpsters. For similar MOs see: serial killer, child kidnapper, etc.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 7

  5. michael reynolds says:

    This has been around for a while. My son sent it to me a while ago.

    I remember when the idea of “don’t eat anything with a face,” came into vogue. I was working as a restaurant reviewer. I celebrated meatless whatever day it was by reviewing a steak restaurant and spent a bit of time digressing onto just how shocked Bossy would be if she saw what I was doing with her Ribeye regions. And of course there was the issue of clams, mussels and oysters, who may not have a face we recognize, but may be perfectly attractive to each other.

    We should be as humane as we can be to the pigs, chickens and cows. Then we should kill them and cook them up.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 12 Thumb down 3

  6. Franklin says:

    Notice she doesn’t really care about mutilating the body after it’s dead, because she won’t feel it. While I’m somehwat sympathetic to vegetarians and even vegans, if we humanely killed animals (which we admittedly don’t) for food then I don’t really see the true problem with using the rest of their body for other stuff. It’s better than it being waste.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 1

  7. Andre Kenji says:

    @wr:

    Boy, it’s amazing how much contempt you have for people who actually believe in things.

    1-) I do agree with Doug. These people are annoying and they try to restrict others people´s liberty. These people tried to ban rodeos in some states in Brazil, for instance.

    2-) PETA´s ad are offensive to Jews, Blacks and Women. That´s enough to me, unless we are waiting to see if they create ads that are offensive to Muslims, American Natives and Asians.

    3-) Worse than that, PETA is distraction from real environmental problems.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 11 Thumb down 4

  8. Neil Hudelson says:

    Imagine how much power and prestige PETA could have if they actually focused on making our treatment of animals more ethical.

    I’m sure PETA is strongly against factory farming, but their leader’s way to combat it is to donate her body to a human BBQ?

    Here’s a few things they could do:

    -Promote buying American grown Fois Gras. The few (three??) major Fois Gras operations in America are incredibly humane.
    -Use their fairly decent financial holdings to run awareness and education campaigns regarding the healthful effects of limiting meat consumption to a few meals a week, and pair it with an awareness campaign of locally sourced, family farm meats versus factory meats.
    -Provide grants to create more small community zoos and animal preserves.

    And so on, and so on.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 12 Thumb down 0

  9. michael reynolds says:

    @Neil Hudelson:

    Exactly. But of course they aren’t about ethical treatment of animals, they’re radical vegetarians. Everything else from them is a lie.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 3

  10. john personna says:

    It sounds like a 3 martini press release, but it got Doug’s attention.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  11. Andre Kenji says:

    PETA is not against industrial farming, they are against any farming that involves animals.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1

  12. Janiah says:

    If I believed what she does, and was an activist, I would keep my profile very low so as to avoid some day being sent her thumb.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  13. Rafer Janders says:

    @wr:

    For a self-styled outsider, you sure are slavish in your dedication to the status quo.

    If I could upvote this a dozen times, I would.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 1

  14. Jim Henley says:

    @michael reynolds: That’s not really true. It was on a PETA website that I read the argument that seven people giving up meat one day a week did as much good for animals as one person going full vegetarian.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1

  15. matt says:

    Years old but I’d still like to be at her BBQ.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  16. grumpy realist says:

    I’m just waiting until we get the vat-created meats up and running, at which point PETA will probably go after that.

    (Any possibility I had of being a vegetarian came to a screeching halt after I had a vegetarian roommate whose idea of a balanced diet was cheese sandwiches, pizza, and Morningstar fake sausages. After three months of shared living with her and keeping my nasty meat out of the kitchen, the only thing I could think of was a steak…)

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1