PREPARING FOR DEPLOYMENT
Blackfive passes on some tips for those about to deploy to Iraq. Not much has changed since I was there in ’91.
A few favorites:
3. Six hours after you go to sleep, have your wife or girlfriend whip open the curtain, shine a flashlight in your eyes and mumble, “Sorry, wrong cot.” [Heh–although, I must confess, this was mainly the troops. As a platoon leader, I was spared guard duty–although I experienced this ritual plenty as a cadet.]
8. Don’t watch TV except for movies in the middle of the night. Have your family vote on which movie to watch and then show a different one.
9. Leave a lawnmower running in your living room 24 hours a day for proper noise levels.
10. Have the paperboy give you a haircut.
37. When your 5-year old asks for a stick of gum, have him find the exact stick and flavor he wants on the Internet and print out the web page. Type up a Form 9 and staple the web page to the back. Submit the paperwork to your spouse for processing. After two weeks, give your son the gum. [What–they get the gum now?]
