Al Gore Places Infant Son In Rocket To Escape Dying Planet

Al Gore Places Infant Son In Rocket To Escape Dying Planet

This Onion bit is three years old but making the rounds again: Al Gore Places Infant Son In Rocket To Escape Dying Planet

Former vice president Al Gore—who for the past three decades has unsuccessfully attempted to warn humanity of the coming destruction of our planet, only to be mocked and derided by the very people he has tried to save—launched his infant son into space Monday in the faint hope that his only child would reach the safety of another world.

“I tried to warn them, but the Elders of this planet would not listen,” said Gore, who in 2000 was nearly banished to a featureless realm of nonexistence for promoting his unpopular message. “They called me foolish and laughed at my predictions. Yet even now, the Midwest is flooded, the ice caps are melting, and the cities are rocked with tremors, just as I foretold. Fools! Why didn’t they heed me before it was too late?”

Al Gore—or, as he is known in his own language, Gore-Al—placed his son, Kal-Al, gently in the one-passenger rocket ship, his brow furrowed by the great weight he carried in preserving the sole survivor of humanity’s hubristic folly.

Presumably, the renewed interest comes from this:

Former Vice President Al Gore will renew his 30-year campaign to convince skeptics of the link between climate change and extreme weather events this week in a 24-hour global multi-media event.

“24 Hours of Reality” will broadcast a presentation by Al Gore every hour for 24 hours across 24 different time zones from Wednesday to Thursday, with the aim of convincing climate change deniers and driving action against global warming among households, schools and businesses.

The campaign also asks people to hand over control of their social networking accounts on Facebook and Twitter to it for 24 hours to deliver Gore’s message.

“There will be 200 new slides arguing the connection between more extreme weather and climate change,” Trewin Restorick, chief executive of the event’s UK partner Global Action Plan, told Reuters on Monday.

The rocket ship thing might be more effective.

FILED UNDER: Quick Takes, Science & Technology
James Joyner
About James Joyner
James Joyner is Professor and Department Head of Security Studies at Marine Corps University's Command and Staff College and a nonresident senior fellow at the Scowcroft Center for Strategy and Security at the Atlantic Council. He's a former Army officer and Desert Storm vet. Views expressed here are his own. Follow James on Twitter @DrJJoyner.

Comments

  1. Sam says:

    Not on topic, but a great Onion read.
    Remove if you don;t like it.

    Local Water Tower Celebrates 50th Year As Repository Of Information On Who Is A Slut

    http://www.theonion.com/articles/local-water-tower-celebrates-50th-year-as-reposito,17958/

    I wish Gore would get on his mothership and leave the planet to somewhere cooler.

  2. Drew says:

    This spring, when in the Midwest at least, we were having an extraordinarily chilly spring Al Gore announced that it is predicted by global warming theory (anyone surprised?) because ocean currents were “taking the heat away.”

    Not surprisingly, within two weeks we started having a very hot summer. I guess the ocean currents didn’t get the memo. Gore response? crickets…..

    Since then we’ve had the CERN report detailing how at leat 2/3rds of the supposed AGW effect is not man made, but related to radiologic events. We have also been treated to repeated complaints that “the right” just doesn’t like science. Fascinating. I have both a BS and MS in engineering, chemically related by the way. Relevant. And do we really need tgo go to data integrity??

    But we have lefties with absolutely no training still claiming “the science is settled.” Let me translate: “I religiously believe in AGW, and don’t bother me with evidence.”

    There’s a fantasic scene in Blazing Saddles where the Indian is pathetically chanting to the sky – aye-aye-aye……….aye-aye-aye. This is our current left.

  3. Ebenezer Arvigenius says:

    This spring, when in the Midwest at least, we were having an extraordinarily chilly spring Al Gore announced that it is predicted by global warming theory (anyone surprised?) because ocean currents were “taking the heat away.”

    Why do you even bother to post if you have no clue about the theory? Hot and cold weather in any season has neither bearing on, nor is it caused by GW. This canard is possibly the best indicator of someone who’s just regurgitating nonsense.

    Since then we’ve had the CERN report detailing how at leat 2/3rds of the supposed AGW effect is not man made, but related to radiologic events.

    No we haven’t. Don’t take my word. Take the word of CERN:

    This result leaves open
    the possibility that cosmic rays could also influence climate. However, it is premature to conclude that cosmic
    rays have a significant influence on climate until the additional nucleating vapours have been identified, their
    ion enhancement measured, and the ultimate effects on clouds have been confirmed.

    Fascinating. I have both a BS and MS in engineering, chemically related by the way.

    No offence but I’m constantly amazed by how many MA’s are out there who apparently can’t critically evaluate a simple newspaper article.

    And do we really need tgo go to data integrity??

    No we don’t (because any attack from that angle so far has been based on nothing but easily disproved lies) :P.

  4. Lit3Bolt says:

    I’m convinced that people on the Right wake up to Fox News Mass, praise the pope, acknowledge the world is flat and earth is the center of the universe, before having a delicious asbestos and DDT milkshake with their morning pack of cigarettes, then hurry up to their 100 hour work week in the coal mine, incurious as to why everyone who works in the mine has died before they were 40.

    Just admit you hate Al Gore and deny AGW for one reason only–to spite liberals. It saves everyone a lot of time.

  5. Drew says:

    “Why do you even bother to post if you have no clue about the theory? Hot and cold weather in any season has neither bearing on, nor is it caused by GW.”

    Uh, er, I was citing Al Gore, not me. Do you read? (And I might add, I got a good belly laugh just this past week as Tom Friedman cited the Texas fires as absolute proof of AGW.) And this is one in only a series of very public Al Gore public announcements.

    I think we need to hear your absolute repudiation of Mr. Gore before we proceed, else you have no credibility whatsoever. Although…………

    “No offence but I’m constantly amazed by how many MA’s are out there who apparently can’t critically evaluate a simple newspaper article.”

    I don’t know what “newspapers” you read, but the CERN work called into question 2/3ds of the effect. Call me crazy…………but that’s not exactly “settled science.”

    And I don’t suppose you’d like to discuss certain emails………questionable data……..scientific integrity…………………………………………….never mind. But I do have some clay pagan figurines if you are feeling a need to chant to the sky.

  6. mattb says:

    @Ebenezer Arvigenius: Here’s an even more direct quote on the CERN report:

    Lead Author of the CERN paper Jasper Kirkby:
    “At the moment, it actually says nothing about a possible cosmic-ray effect on clouds and climate, but it’s a very important first step.” (http://www.nature.com/news/2011/110824/full/news.2011.504.html)

    Not that Drew actually cares, but here are links to other evaluations on the research by… you know… actual scientists…

  7. mattb says:

    @Drew:

    And I don’t suppose you’d like to discuss certain emails………questionable data……..scientific integrity…………………………………………….never mind.

    Actually I’m happy to discuss that stuff considering — and I quote Wikipedia which links to all the reports:

    Six committees investigated the allegations and published reports, finding no evidence of fraud or scientific misconduct.
    (source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Climatic_Research_Unit_email_controversy#Inquiries_and_reports)

    The six major investigations covered by secondary sources include: House of Commons Science and Technology Committee (UK); Independent Climate Change Review (UK); International Science Assessment Panel (UK); Pennsylvania State University (US); United States Environmental Protection Agency (US); Department of Commerce (US).

    Note, you can click through to all the reports from the Wikipedia page. You are able to offer your own interpretations, but you don’t get your own facts. Though would suggest that having six different agencies (including one University) across two countries all reach the same results is a pretty strong argument for this being blown out of proportion to confirm certain people’s confirmation biases.

  8. mattb says:

    @Drew: On that entire you’re not entitled to your own facts… can you cite a few legitimate scientific sources to back up your claim that:

    I don’t know what “newspapers” you read, but the CERN work called into question 2/3ds of the effect.

    Because, as noted above the Chief CERN scientist in charge of the study your quoting is calling BS on that interpretation.

  9. DavidL says:

    Now a rocket ship would be a good idea, but alas it has the wrong passenger. It would be better for Al Gore to blast himself into space than his infant son. Do they make rocket ships that big>\?

  10. Neo says:

    Oh … good Lord … Al Gore tries to channel “No Pressure” with this and this.

  11. Scott O. says:

    @Drew:

    I don’t know what “newspapers” you read, but the CERN work called into question 2/3ds of the effect. Call me crazy

    You’re crazy! Why don’t you provide some evidence to support your claims?

  12. rodney dill says:

    …probably because all the money that could’ve been used to save the planet was trapped in his lock box.