Another Prison Torture Scandal

Inmates Complain After 5 Turkey Dinners (AP)

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. – Five straight turkey dinners prompted El Paso County jail inmates to go on a brief hunger strike. The inmates refused to eat Saturday, arguing that meals such as turkey chili mac, turkey a la king, turkey stew and turkey sausage were unnecessarily cruel.

Dick Durbin is believed to be preparing a statement on this atrocity.

FILED UNDER: Humor,
Leopold Stotch
About Leopold Stotch
“Dr. Leopold Stotch” was the pseudonym of political science professor then at a major research university inside the beltway. He has a PhD in International Relations. He contributed 165 pieces to OTB between November 2004 and February 2006.

Comments

  1. Mark says:

    This sooo reminds me of A Christmas Story:

    The heavenly aroma still hung in the house. But it was gone, all gone! No turkey! No turkey sandwiches! No turkey salad! No turkey gravy! Turkey Hash! Turkey A La King! Or gallons of turkey soup! Gone, ALL GONE!

  2. michael says:

    That reads like an Onion piece to me. Hard for me to believe it’s true. I guess sometimes reality is funnier than comedy.

  3. Leopold Stotch says:

    Mark, in your honor I had duck for dinner tonight …

  4. Just Me says:

    When I worked at a jail, they served balogna or PBJ sandwiches every single day.

    I think those inmates would have preferred a few days of turkey.

    I think the moral to this story is if you want to control what you eat, don’t commit any crimes.

  5. ICallMasICM says:

    Can I claim child abuse because we had to eat leftovers?

  6. Mark says:

    Had duck, eh? But did you sing the carrol?

    Deck the Harrs with Barrs of Horry…
    Fa ra ra ra ra….ra ra ra ra!

  7. Leopold Stotch says:

    No, I forgot to sing, but I would have sworn that the bird was staring right at me.