CARNIVAL OF THE VANITIES #48
ARE YOU READY
FOR SOME FOOTBALL?
THE FRONT OFFICE
Business and administration
“Tom Paine” of Silent Running discusses silly questions on citizenship exams.
Northstar at The People’s Republic of Seabrook thinks random drug testing of high school athletes is a bad idea.
Joanie Da Goddess muses on having Jimmy Buffet advising Arnold Schwarzenegger on economic policy.
Justene Adamec of calblog explains why a tax hike is not what California needs.
Steven Taylor at PoliBlog has an, er, naked solution to power blackouts.
Sean Hackbarth at The American Mind explains the impulse for protectionism.
Alex Frantz of Public Nuisance drafts a Constitutional Amendment: Marriage According to the Bible.
THE COACHES
Ranting, raving, and motivating.
Drew at Never Trust a Monkey has a rant about monkeys and tree huggers.
Ilkya Damon wants us to all just get along. (Part I and Part II)
Andrew at REDUX extols the virtues of Little League baseball.
Lummox JR at Pyrojection rants against web-based piracy.
Little Miss Attilla is tired of hearing about how hard it is to avoid obesity.
QUARTERBACKS
Getting all the glory.
Dean Esmay of Dean’s World presents an alternative perspective on feminism.
Laurence Simon of Amish Tech Support imagines the pre-flight speech on Palestinian Airlines.
Frank J at IMAO takes us into his world with Ride of the Warmongerers.
Dean Esmay of Dean’s World writes an ode to his shotgun.
Acidman at Gut Rumbles thinks the French are wusses for not being able to take the heat.
RUNNING BACKS
Carrying the load.
Aimless9 at Aimless Forest explains why he won’t be leaving the Anglican Church.
Kinayda at Kin’s Couch puts things into perspective.
Andrew Cline of Rhetorica has some thoughts on media objectivity.
Adam, A Single Guy In The South, weighs in on the issue of marriage.
StumpJumper and Zombyboy ResurrectionSong have an exchange on the marriage issue, too.
Andres Gentry at water reflects on what China can tell us about citizenship.
John at Discriminations posts on desegregation cases dying of old age.
Greyhawk at Mudville Gazette talks about the influence of American culture on three Asian countries with whom we’ve fought wars.
RECEIVERS
Quick bursts of speed.
Eric, the Capitol Hillblogger, writes about why it’s not nice to call people Nazis.
Scarlet of unfknblvbl offers some thoughts on the capture of SE Asia’s most wanted man.
Wind Rider of Silent Running offers his take on spam, spam, spam from Howard Dean.
Dave of IsraellyCool has a short poem making fun of a girl who has been murdered satirizing an anti-Semitic writer.
bussorah at Wicked Thoughts recounts a somewhat explicit old joke.
Ravenwood at Ravenwood’s Universe has a plan for eliminating road rage.
Eric Lindholm, the Viking Pundit, thinks someone is playing a trick on the Democrats.
Harvey Olson of Bad Money describes a day in the life of a French “superhero”.
The host of Jay Solo’s Verbosity wants to know what movie reality you’d like to live out.
LINEMEN
The faceless ones doing the dirty work in the trenches.
Jeremiah Lewis at fringeblog has a solution for the Arab-Israeli conflict.
norbizness Of Happy Furry Puppy Story Time wants to know who watches the watchers.
Brian Arner at Resonance campaigns for The Workplace Religious Freedom Act.
Jim at Snooze Button Dreams thinks we could learn a thing or two from the Europeans on teen drinking.
Rick DeMent at The Rant has some thoughts on U.S. immigration policy.
Nathan at Brain Fertilizer says morality isn’t what you think it is.
The Talking Dog gives a pooch’s eye view of the big blackout.
Lisa Thompson at Field Notes talks about women and their shoes.
Christopher Genovese at Signal + Noise has a suggestion to help improve journalists’ reporting on scientific experiments.
LINEBACKERS
Mean S.O.B.’s that love to hit somebody.
LittleA of A little Aardvark never hurt anyone responds to an editorial that compares conservatives to nazis, terrorists, rednecks, racists, McCarthyites and simpletons.
Doug at Rightward Reasonings sets his sites on Nick Kristoff
Jon Ray of PC Watch takes on extreme lefties in the academy.
Jim DiBenedetto at Eleven Day Empire says consistency is the hobgoblin of large newspapers.
C.D. Harris at Ipse Dixit thinks Wesley Clark is a lying weasel.
Greg at Begging to Differ wonders why the SF Chronicle can’t tell fact from fiction on the topic of Arnold Schwarzenegger.
SAFETIES
Versatile and often-overlooked.
Richard Baker of Sharp Blue presents Flamininus at Corinth.
Pieter Dorsman at Peaktalk explains why he thinks Arnold Schwarzenegger is such an attractive candidate.
Pietro at The SmarterCop doesn’t think we need the schools teaching kids patriotism.
The eponymous author of Trish Wilson’s Blog has the scoop on another pervert running for governor of California.
Chaz at Dustbury has some thoughts on women and divorce.
One Fine Jay talks about eating weird food.
James Griffith of Griffany Online thinks the commentariat is missing the boat on the UN bombing.
Madeleine Begun Kane at Notables Weblog has a Fair & Balanced Song Parody
Joe at Attaboy would have bet on the right horse. But he didn’t.
CORNERBACKS
Ball hawks.
Gareth Lloyd at Kuboid defends the Second Superpower thesis.
Alex of Hypocrisy & Hypotheses writes about his addiction to BlogShares.
John Moore at Useful Fools thinks Baghdad blogger Salam Pax is a whiner and a baby!
Brian at Argues with Signposts trashes Dave Winer and the BloggerCon.
Kiril Kundurazieff, the proprietor of SneakEasy’s Joint has some thoughts on Blog Wars.
Kevin Aylward of WizBang! calls on everyone to choose a side: Frank or Glenn.
KICKERS
Weird little guys–but essential to the game.
John Lemon of Barrel of Fish wants to be B.B. King (here, here, and here)
Cerona at CyberEcology has a story about Moore’s Law and the diamond trade.
Phil the Speculist provides the Time Traveler’s Toolkit, Part 2.
Andrew Ian Dodge of Dodgeblogium writes an Idiot’s Guide to Cthulhu.
Rothy of Back to the 80s fondly recalls the music of. . . the 1980s.
The author of Solonor’s Ink Well likes music and lists some here, here, and here.
The ruler of Life in Queen Medb’s Castle apparently likes rain.
PRACTICE SQUAD
They’ve got skills but can’t make it to the game on time.
Gunther of the Gunther Concept compares the websites of the Texas Democrats and Texas Republicans.
Tiger of Rantin’ and Ravin’ looks back fondly on his youth as a poet.
BTW: Next week’s Carny is at Creative Slips.
What? I’m not the Waterboy?
Heh. Well, on the Cowboys, quarterback might be a step below waterboy these days. 🙂
Here, I’ll be a cheerleader:
Well done James!
Okay, so I’m not so good at cheerleading. But I am sincere.
Thanks. Just don’t show up in little short shorts and a halter top!
I don’t “do” football, but it’s a cool and well done theme regardless! Nice idea.
Fabulous job James!
Just to clarify…my poem is meant to be taken as satire. It is also a stab at Amiri Baraka, whose own poem, amongst other things, accused Jews of being behind 9-11. You missed the point if you read it as my own trivialization of the girl’s murder.
No pics from the Ice Bowl I see. Selected Cowboys history I suspect.
But seriously, nice touch.
Good job, though a Redskins motif would have been far better.
You could have at least thrown in some cheerleader pictures to compliment your selection of this second-rate team. 8^)
Last time I played football, without a flag, in elementary school, I caught a pass, scored a touchdown, and ran into the goal post.
All on the same play…
And didn’t stop running until, crying, I reached the nurses office with a soon to be black eye. 🙂
Great job!
Enough reading here to entertain me during the down time during festivities surrounding my sisters wedding this week. 🙂
Great job on the Carnival. Love the football theme.
On a side note, I can’t wait for Thanksgiving. My Dolphins are gonna crush those guys from Dallas.
Thanks for all the wonderful memories of America’s Team, and a very well done Carnival. It makes me doubly sad I did not get anything submitted. Let us hope the Big Tuna can make the star shine again.
Val,
I dunno–we don’t have Leon Lett around anymore to hand you guys the game! (Of course, we don’t have Troy and Emmitt anymore, either…)
Good Job, James. Thought the football theme was right on…
Ahh, I remember the Leon Lett game very well. It won me a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue Label froma very distraught Cowboys fan. The onlything that worries me about your team this year, froma Dolfan point of view, is that you now have the Tuna. Whats your QB situation now anyway?
Val,
Don’t know right now. It’s either Carter or Hutchinson. Neither looks to be ready, but there aren’t any good options.
Great job, James. I’ll refrain from saying anything bad about the Cowboys (in that they beat the snot out of the Texans recently in pre-season)…. but as for the QB controversy, is Steve Pelleur available?
Great Job James! Thank you!
BTW, could you please tell us where the CoV is being hosted next week ??
Yes, great job.
Hmmm…no Instalink yet? Should we all assault the Prof. at once, or let James do the honors?
Jeannie, CotV will be hosted at my site next week. Click on the name for further info.
Dave, love the poem. Trust me, as a contributor to Christian Peacemaker Teams (loosely affiliated with International Solidarity), I am far more sympathetic to the Palestinian cause… but Baraka’s poem about 9/11 was ugly and offensive beyond words, and yours was darkly humorous in response. It is a hard time…
Ahh…Instalink. That’s better.
Val and James,
Everyone’s confused about the QB situation, and Parcells isn’t letting on if he knows. The local sports guys are split between Hutch and Q-Car. The safe bet seems to be on Hutchison. One theory, which I happen to buy into, is that Parcells is testing Hutchison to see if he can handle adversity by making him uncertain about who has the job. Neither one of them is a pro-bowler, but I’d be surprised to see the job go back to Carter.
Greg,
That’s my impression as well. Check out my co-blog with Steven Taylor at Dallas Cowboys Football. It’s mainly just links and commentaries on the stuff that’s availble elsewhere, but a good clearinghouse.
You’ve set the bar high.
I can’t even get tickets to the God damn game.