Athletic Projector

“Faster than a speeding bullet. More powerful than a locomotive. Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound — ‘Look, up in the sky,’ ‘It’s a bird,’ ‘It’s a plane,’ ‘It’s …. eh…. Martha… what are you staring at?’ ”

Superman’s Penis Is Too Big For The Cinema

The new Superman film is turning out to be a bigger challenge then anticipated.

The problem is the size of the new Superman’s manhood…that is, his bulge is too big for cinema audiences.

Producers are worried that Brandon Routh̢۪s packet in the new film may put audiences off as it is massive.

Bosses on the film are considering using digital technology to cover up the lunchbox in the new film ‘Superman Returns’.

Speaking to The Sun, a source said: “It’s a major issue for the studio. Brandon is extremely well endowed and they don’t want it up on the big screen.

“We may be forced to erase his package with digital effects.”

FILED UNDER: Entertainment, Popular Culture, Science & Technology, Uncategorized,
Kate McMillan
About Kate McMillan
Kate McMillan is the proprietor of small dead animals, which has won numerous awards including Best Conservative Blog and Best Canadian Blog. She contributed nearly 300 pieces to OTB between November 2004 and June 2007. Follow her on Twitter @katewerk.


  1. Noreaster says:

    You sure they didn’t get Ron Jeremy by mistake?

  2. Alan says:
  3. McGehee says:

    I’m remembering a tongue-in-cheek TV movie about the old Batman TV series. Apparently Burt Ward had the same, er, problem.

    Unfortunately for him they didn’t have the digital technology that exists today, so he had to wear a device that I’m pretty sure Senator McCain would have wanted outlawed.

  4. Kathy K says:

    Hey – they have lots of ‘T&A’ for the guys to ogle in movies – why can’t we women get a bit of ‘B’ to ogle?

  5. cirby says:

    Yeah, that sort of thing can be a real problem.

    Knocking over centerpieces on tables, getting it caught in car doors (really stings), knocking people over when you spin around too fast.

    Yeah, I can sympathize.

  6. Bithead says:

    So if they erase it, how does he prove he’s a super man?

    Oh, never mind.