Bill Clinton: ‘Screw It, I’m Running For President’

Bill Clinton is running for a third term, ONN reports.

Bill Clinton: ‘Screw It, I’m Running For President’ After spending two months accompanying his wife, Hillary, on the campaign trail, former president Bill Clinton announced Monday that he is joining the 2008 presidential race, saying he “could no longer resist the urge.”

“My fellow Americans, I am sick and tired of not being president,” said Clinton, introducing his wife at a “Hillary ’08” rally. “For seven agonizing years, I have sat idly by as others experienced the joys of campaigning, debating, and interacting with the people of this great nation, and I simply cannot take it anymore. I have to be president again. I have to.”

“Damn, this feels good,” Clinton told supporters as he shook hands in Charleston Monday.

He continued, “It is with a great sense of relief that I say to all of you today, ‘Screw it. I’m in.'”

In a show of respect, Clinton then completed his introduction of Hillary Clinton, calling her a “wonderful wife and worthy political adversary,” and warmly shook her hand as she approached the podium. A clearly shocked Mrs. Clinton got halfway through her speech about the nation’s obligation to its children before walking briskly offstage.

Developing . . .

Via Josh Levy

FILED UNDER: Campaign 2008, General, ,
James Joyner
About James Joyner
James Joyner is Professor and Department Head of Security Studies at Marine Corps University's Command and Staff College and a nonresident senior fellow at the Scowcroft Center for Strategy and Security at the Atlantic Council. He's a former Army officer and Desert Storm vet. Views expressed here are his own. Follow James on Twitter @DrJJoyner.

Comments

  1. Mike says:

    Nothing quite like the Onion to have some fun.

  2. vnjagvet says:

    A very well-conceived and well-executed article. And hilarious.

  3. floyd says:

    The “Onion” will die for the same reason that “Monty Python’s Flying Circus!” died…. No longer able to get more outrageous than reality!