Monday, August 15, 2005
Time for the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
Winners will be announced Thursday PM
Cho Lai was happy to demonstrate that after banging a brick wall against your head it really did feel good when you stopped.
With gasoline prices at record highs, Buddhist monks are forced to find new ways to commit suicide in protests.
Here at OTB we promote safety in blogging, and consequently only release Caption Contests under stringent Controls. After careful scrutiny the FDA has determined that reading OTB Contest Captions almost never cause permanent brain damage. In the attached photo, one of the safety control crash tests shows the impact of a Laurence Simon caption on the brain of an unsuspecting blogger.
The name Hermione Gingold persevered in his head day and night, night and day. Hermione Gingold. Hermione Gingold. Hermione Gingold. Hermione …
“Thanks, I needed that.”
Brother Hu discovers that pain distraction theory does not work for migraines.
‘Ever had a headache that just screams Excedrin?’
Retro-Phrenology….it only hurts for a moment, and you get the personality for a lifetime.
The Chinese government demonstrates how it’s incorporating dissidents in construction projects for the 2008 Olympics.
I could of had a V8!
Introducing….Tiananmin Square Fear Factor!!!!!
This Tibetan monk’s first words, upon awakening 15 years later from a deep coma: “Ta-dahhhh!”
If anyone can top Laurence Simon’s entry, I’ll eat my hat. Hi-frickin’-larious.
* One of the colorful photographs from the new book: “Painless Tooth Extraction”
* SLEDGE-O-MATIC: For life’s most difficult problems.
*This photograph proves it: Monks WILL blink when hit with a sledgehammer
* Somehow, Ching began to understand his classes on “Tact and the art of being subtle” weren’t going well.
* Gallagher, call your office.
* The new method for Deprogramming Liberals showed serious promise.
* Look, all I said was that bit of Halibut was good enough for Jehovah….
* It’s HAMMER TIME!!!!
* Ying’s Keyboard repair service had some serious setbacks that first year.
* The heartbreak of Steroid Abuse
* So, did you get that Mosquito?
* When Yang was told they were all going out to get hammered, this somehow wasn’t quite what he had in mind.
* The ultimate Nasty cure for the Wrath of Grapes.
* They said this version of Windows would be harder to re-start than some others….
Buddy the Buddhist began to wonder whether this REALLY was the way to true enlightenment.
Initial results from the new Democratic think tanks proves promising. Holding the wall on your head while it is demolished by sledgehammers is actually more painful than banging your head against the wall. Democrats hope to use such insights in upcoming 2006 elections.
Aaahh! Yes, little grasshopper, when you overcome the pain of the “breaking masonry on head” meditation exercise, I will explain why people as boring as we wear such flamboyant colors.
This is your head. This is your head when Dean is your party chair. Any questions?
* Label on hammer: Manually operated attitude adjustment device
* Here’s Mr. O. G. Datturts performing in a scene from the Beatles new broadway show, during the song “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer”
* They said this would be a good icebreaker at the party!
They killed Spongebob! You bastards!
If I had a hammer, I’d hammer on a Buddhist monk…
Tom DeLay responds to his yellow brick toting Buddhist critics.
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, U can’t smash this.
THe Monks billed the demonstration as ‘mind over matter”… but it turned out to be more like “mind under sledgehammer”
Ching’s home remedy for constipation, was, to say the least, unique.
The reality show America’s Most Hard-Headed was won by Al Gore, who has scrapped the hirsute look for depilated.
More photos of prisoner-abuse at Abu Ghraib emerge… Military denies it authorized use of sledge hammers to extract information.
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