Monday, September 4, 2006
Time for the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
Winners will be announced Thursday PM
The democrats in congress heeded the latest Al Qaeda tape and converted to Islam.
Speaker Pelosi, wearing a fetching black Burka, said she agreed with the new rules about her not being allowed into the house chamber.
Notice how Reuters photoshopped the same Iranian legislator twice.
Sure, everyone wants an aisle seat so they can be first in line for stoning a 16 year old girl for showing some ankle, but an old man like me has to climb over them every time the great Satan makes me have to empty my bladder.
Gillette sales in Iran continue to slump.
Carter answered critics that he was ineffectual at striking back at Iran after the hostage taking by revealing that the CIA under his orders had secretly replaced the leather in the Iranian Parliament with pig skin.
The Iranian Parliament took up a bill on how best to punish dry cleaners who mix up the laundry to their customers.
Democrats decried Bush ‘warmongering’ with respect to Iran, pointing out that there were moderates available for negotiation in the Iranian government who could be easily identified by their modern dress.
Damn. There’s another one. How come I never get the memo on whether its going to be a white or black turban day.
AP BREAKING: Early today the Iranian Assembly of Experts issued a Fatwa condemning yetanotherjohn.
Bring it on Rodney. I do not fear grown men who insist on wearing each other’s clothes.
OOPS!!! he couldn’t get out of there Sunni enough when he realized the Shia Conference was actually two rooms down the hall.
1: Don’t forget my fries, this time, old man.
2: *Phew* Haji … there are no infidels in here. Put a cork on it, woudlja’.
3: Yeah! I heard it that time! It DOES sound like a duck saying “allahu akbar.” Well, done.
I smell shit! Who didn’t wash they hands?
Reuters admitted that the picture of Sean Connery sitting in the Iranian Parliament chamber was photoshopped.
Iranians celebrate Go Soak Your Head Day.
One of these Mullahs is not like the others,
One of these Mullahs just doesn’t belong,
Can you tell which Mullah is not like the others
By the time I finish my Fatwah?
“What? We can’t get lap dances while in session? I knew I should’ve run for the U.S. Congress instead! Later, dudes — I’m outa here.”
If this infidel behind me kicks my chair one more time….
“Hey, Hassan. Let’s sentence Kofi Annan to execution by stoning. Pass it on.”
Fashion – Turn to the left
Fashion – Turn to the right
We are the goon squad
And we’re coming to town
His turban is so much whiter than ours; I wonder if he uses bleach!
Do we have to sit here and listen to this! It’s the same old speech all over again. Snore!
First Man: Yes, I had my toes clipped yesterday. I think she did a good job.
Second Man: They look pretty good to me. How much did the toe clipper charge you?
First Man: I got it free. My neice is the best known toe clipper in the area. You should try her sometime.
Second Man: If you say so then she must be good. Does she do corns, too?
Ridin’ The Interurbin In You Turban Can Be Disturbin.
The Islamic version of the three Stooges (Shemp is in the black turban)
Black Turban thought bubble:
“What the…?!?! Good grief! Mahmuhd needs to retire already! He’s wearing his depends on his head!”
“Hey! Pssst! For the last time, Ahmed – Sharia Law says NO farting in parliament. Save it for honoring your wife’s cooking. Wait a minute – you’re not Ahmed! You in the black turban – you’re the American infidel, Gene Hackman!”
Stunned by the a$$whupping their Hezbollah proxies were suffering at the hands of the IDF, many Iranian legislators donned their white “rally caps”
Black Turban thought bubble:
“Dang! That’s the problem with an aisle seat. Someone’s always going out for falafel in the middle of the movie!”
1) Waaa? There’s a sale on falafells at Mohommed’s? I didn’t authorize that! Off with his head.
2) Yet another exciting game of musical chairs while they wait for the 12th Iman, since all other games have been banned. (14 days and counting from the 22nd) 😉
3) Guy leaving, stomach growling. Allah, I wish we had a consession stand like those pig-dog New England Patriots have for their home games, and I also wish we had some Dallas cheerleaders here too…….
“Oh, fer crissakes, Mahmoud! You’re messin’ up the ‘more bars in more places’ shot again! Stop drinking all that Diet Pepsi and maybe you can sit still for more than five minutes!”
“Duck… Duck… Duck… Goose…”
1. Damn, naugahyde doesn’t squeak like leather.
2. Somebody left gum in my seat.
3. If we’re descended from cattle herders, why am I lactose intolerant?
4. Lasagna in the cafeteria!
“Ok boys. Honestly? The harmony was a little off. Pinky, c’mon and use your Frankie Valli falsetto voice on this.”
Speaking Yes Ayatollah to power.
It was the Papa Smurf Cylon’s that were the hardest to identify…
Iranian MP Azizi Faroud exits the chamber after the motion passes to watch “Yentl” again.
Looking around, Rafinisti finally notices there isn’t one woman in the bar.
So, Moshe, do you think the world will ever figure out that we Jews DO control the world?
“Anybody feel like an In-N-Out Burger? A Big Mac? A Whopper?”
Who’s bringing the frankincense and where the hell is the myrrh?
“Pssst, Amir. Your mother wears a bikini.”
Iranian boy bands
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