Monday, December 25, 2006
Time for the Christmas OTB Caption ContestTM
by Rodney Dill — TIME MAGAZINE Person Of The Year — 2006
Winners will be announced Thursday PM
After the freak North Pole sandstorm, Santa was pleased to see that his Reindeer Emergency Location System was working perfectly.
Now if only he could find some elves to dig them out…
Getting in on the fitness craze and having been stuck in one too many a chimmney, Santa tapes his new exercise video on the beach of Christmas Isle.
Santa dreams of a beach filled with runway models!
Pacing with worry at the north pole,Santa is afraid to exhale and add to the CO2 gasses causing global warming.
… it all happens, every day, in a place called “The Twilight Zone”….
Having pulled an all-nighter himself, Santa was disappointed to discover the Elves had already wrapped up their keg party by the time he arrived.
Curse Ann Coulter for converting all the Iraqi children to Christianity! How can I be jolly when I’m wearing a fur suit in 110 degree weather?
I am the walrus.
… and they call him Sandy Claws.
The red burka and white veil were fashion flops, but the beach umbrellas sold tolerably well.
Next year, I replace Rudolph with a GPS device!
The answer is, Purple.
Santa is in the wrong place at the wrong time after his GPS fails.
The moment before we learn under all those layers, wig and fake beard…Santa is a guy who shouldn’t wear a thong.
1) Santa feels he’s made a fashion fauxpa wearing Red and White to the North Pole Christmas Party held on an Australian beach. Should-of-been Silver and Gold, definately Silver and Gold.
2) Christie Alley’s next show she’s going to host, Fat Santa.
3) Ba-Humbug, I quit. Was the last thing was heard before Santa was found here in Jamacia in January.
After claiming to be “bigger than Jesus,” Santa showed his love for the Beatles by imitating the cover of Abbey Road.
After a very successful season, Santa turns his attention towards Cupid and the Easter Bunny. He was quoted as saying “I’m tired of working only one day a year” Cupid or the Easter Bunny could not reached.
“Anybody seen 34th Street?”
Conspiracy theorists declared this latest “proof” of Santa as a fake, claiming that the angle of the shadow is geologically impossible and the lack of Santa footprints is a clear indication of photoshopping. Reuters did not respond to the claim.
Santa heads back, concluding that the topless area of the elf beach isn’t really such a hoot.
Who knew that Santa’s rosy cheeks and cherry-red nose really came from ClubMed France?
Santa was irritated, he had sand in places he didn’t know existed.
The bizaro world Easter Island, where a the bunny has been replaced by Santa, plush vegetation replaced by desert and the mysterious stone faces have been replaced by umbrellas wrapped in metrosexual sweaters.
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