Monday, March 19, 2007
Time for Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
brought to you by Rodney Dill — TIME MAGAZINE Person Of The Year — 2006
Winners will be announced Thursday PM
Photographer Mannie Garcia captures Valarie Plame with her mouth shut; a rare moment when she wasn’t lying to the committee.
(dark haired woman on left) Did she just fart?
“Hold on, Senator — I don’t even know anyone by the name of ‘Bithead.'”
Excuse me Congressman…I only remeber lying 5 times
Dark-haired girl on the left: “Hmph. I guess her thong’s been ‘outed’ too.”
“And if my name weren’t printed in such large block letters on this placard before me the good viewers of C-SPAN would also think I remained undercover.”
“Unlike my roots.”
“Here’s a song called The Plame Game. Scooter Scooter Bo Booter, Cheney Cheney Bo Baney, Fee Fi Mo – Pardon!”
I went to Spicy Nail on Mass and D………
“Well, I personally prefer the spread-eagle to hog-tied, but gotta have the flat hand righteous bitch slap.”
Speak to the hand!
Dang..Rock, Paper, Scissors and I got Paper again!
Could you hold on a minute while I dry my nails?
I like Wack-a-mole
“And then you pat the dough flat, being careful not to overknead it and…
What do you mean we’re not taping an Emeril segment for the Food Network?”
“I touch the customer lightly on the buttocks like so and whisper the safe word to him…”
::dark-haired girl in back thought balloon::
“Oh Mrs. Plame, I’ll make you bark like a dog.”
“Stop right there! I gotta know right now, before we go any further do you covert me? Will you covert me forever? Will you shield me? Will you never reveal me? Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life, will you take Bush away based on my yellowcake lies? I gotta know right now, before we go any further do you covert me? Will you covert me forever?”
“Senator, the “P” is not silent.”
“Yes Senator Kennedy, this is how you do the ‘Swim’.”
“Yes, Congressman Wax-on Wax-off Waxman.”
Her hair was perfect.
“I’m not here to talk about the past. I’m here to talk about the future. Hey, wait a miunte, these notes are mine, they’re Mark McGuire’s.”
“I’m not here to talk about the past. I’m here to talk about the future. Hey, wait a minute, these notes aren’t mine, they’re Mark McGuire’s.â€ (Ed: New improved version!)
“I could tell you sir, but then I’d have to kill you.”
“No sir, I’m sorry but I don’t know what year this is on the Chinese astological calender.”
“Look at the size of this rock! How could any man who would give me a ring like this tell a lie?”
“Senator, I’d like to take more questions but I’m late for my shoot with Annie Liebowitz for Playboy’s ‘Girls of the CIA’ pictorial.”
“I suppose I could have stayed home and baked cookies and had teas, but what I decided to do was to fulfill my profession which I entered before my husband was in public life.”
Waiting for the indictment of Karl Rove to be
The answer to Kos’ prayer
Guilty, guilty, guilty…
“You asked for a miracle? I give you the CIA. Hey, wait a minute, these are Hans Gruber’s notes.”
“Yes sir, I was an analyst at the CIA. Oh, and the first letter in the word ‘analyst’ is pronounced as a short vowel.”
“Yes sir, in Operations we use the left hand for the gom jabbar.”
1) Hey stop!
What’s that sound?
That’s my career going DooWWwwnnnn!
2) Yes I am Time Person of the Year! (slaps hand on the table)
3) Why no I don’t know what Civil Right of mine has been violated.
Valerie, we are not on Jeopardy. You do not have to hit the buzzer and answer in the form of a question.
–Charles Austin, you do know there’s not a cash prize, right? 😉
So there I was slipping in undercover among the Jihadi, cool as you please.
Wait right there, I am legally blond and I have the inconsistent story to prove it.
Fer shur I was like totally under the covers covers til that god king boffo Rove like totally outed me.
What a minute. When I say I didn’t authorize or suggest my husband make the trip, I mean that I didn’t sign his travel authorization papers or suggest which airline he fly.
…then after insertion I want to spread my fingers like this.
While Valarie wowed the senate with her rendition of “Stop in the name of love”, her blond and brunette back up singers were less impressive.
All I’m saying is read between the lines.
Valarie revealed that as a covert agent she had a sex change operation 5 times.
So nothing in my hand, nothing between my ears and nothing to my story.
(Yeah, I know there’s not a cash prize, but winning gives you publicity money can’t buy from Time Magazine’s Person of the Year!)
“Yes sir, you must be the tall to get on the rides at Langley.”
“Can someone please turn off that Anton Karas zither music.”
Mick Jagger, on the right: “Yeah, yeah, Lady looks like a dude! Oh wait a minute, those are Clinton’s notes.”
Mick Jagger Steven Tyler, on the right: “Yeah, yeah, Lady looks like a dude! Oh wait a minute, those are Clinton’sMick Jagger’s notes.â€ (Sorry, it’s getting late for this sort of thing.)
Whoa there, Senator. Please refer to me as “Bob” during these proceedings. You see, (whispering) I’m undercover.
The dark-haired girl on the left broke down into tears when she realized that she, in fact, was the elephant in the room.
“Now Ms. Plame, which column are you a part of? You don’t have to say it, just hold up your fingers.”
Senator: “Bob’s a strange name for a girl. isn’t it?”
Ms. Plame: It’s short for… Kate.”
“Yes senator, before the invasion in 2003, Iraq was a happy valley where little children flew kites and rivers of chocolate flowed freely…”
“Um, can I go to the bathroom?”
Plame motions for Mannie Garcia to sit down so she can understand the question.
…Yes I would like a Taco Bell Crunchwrap Supreme..
“So I told Bill, ‘Just put that ugly thing away, and I’ll do the next best thing and — oh, I don’t know — I got it, I’ll screw George Bush.’ Little did I know what form that would take.”
“Yes, I’ve gone to a great deal of trouble to dye my roots dark.”
From the Democrat alternate reality:
“First, I shot the laser beams that Q installed under my fingernails. This stunned the mastermind, whereupon I threw my my grenade-wedding ring to finish the job. After all, I have a license to kill. And no, I won’t tell you my real name. Just call me Double-O Sixty Nine.”
“No Senator Kennedy. I will NOT show you my t*ts!”
(Cheesy guitar riff in the background)
Senator: “Please state your name.”
Ms. Plame: “Valerie Plame.”
Senator: “Please state your nationality.”
Ms. Plame: “Sir, I’m an American’t.”
Senator: “Please state your occupation.”
Ms. Plame: “Under cover spy and front cover Vanity Fair Model.”
Senator: “Do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?”
Ms. Plame: “Sir, I promise to tell THE TRUTH, and not waste time on the facts.”
“Senator, I assure you, I am not Teri Garr.”
I’m a dame who is Valerie Plame.
And I blame Cheney and what’s his name.
The whole thing is lame.
Though I can’t win this game.
I know how to aim and flame.
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