Monday, June 25, 2007
Time for Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
Winners will be announced Thursday PM
Only two more contests left before my Summer hiatus. There will be no caption contests the first two weeks of July.
You had questions about your employee benefit program?
* The epitome of the civilized party; black tie, black hood. Black AK-47.
* the waiting room of “Hillary Clinton for president”
Abdul, when we say “You’re Fired” we mean it.
Bullets in!, bullets in! We said nothing about bulletins.
Mohammed, put your mask on, it’s not casual friday.
“So, you have a problem showing respect to a woman. Will this make it easier for you?”
“Yes, the masks are itchy and, yes the guns are heavy, but the perks make it all worth it at Dewey, Cheatum and Howe.”
“Are those guns registered with the State?”
“Yeah the State of Siege.”
“And we ain’t too tired to bust a cap in yo’ ass.”
“Do I look like the kind of person that would be paranoid? I mean, when you rollin’ with THIS, would *you* be paranoid?”
All your office furniture is belong to us.
I guess we should be thankful that they’re not pi$$ing in the wastebasket.
You can take the CEO out of the jihad, but you can’t take the jihad out of the CEO.
Rejected idea for a “Mentos” commercial.
Jeeeeeeze! Talk about a high-pressure job interview!
“Why no Mr. Bond. I expect you to die!”
So you want to date my daughter?
Receptionist! Tell Mrs. Pelosi we will see her now.
The “unknown comic” takes office, protected from a public who thinks there was some “funny business” with the election!
To avoid controversy, it was decided not to reveal the winner of the 2008 election!
* The “tastes great” / “less filling” controversy takes on a new dimension.
* Barney episodes we’ll never see: Those men with the hoods, next door.
* Hey, wait a minute… do you have a permit for those guns?
* His tax auditors were less than kind.
* The “get out the vote ” effort in Philadelphia in an extraordinary job.
* The Supersoakers certainly looked real.
* The new uniforms of the U.S. post office.
* that year’s deer hunting prove to be marvelously successful.
* No, Omar, you hold it by the OTHER end. You’re going to blow your shoulder off, that way.
When middle managers go bad
It’s Monday, we’re HR, what else do your need?
Looking back on it all now, I should have picked up on more than just the verbal cues that the interview was going badly.
What’s in your wallet?
Strange, I don’t remember the Blue Man Group’s performances being so, well, dark.
I quickly surmised that my performance rating would be something other than satisfactory this quarter.
Why Scott Adams really quit.
Someone has been stealing from the coffee fund and we are going to get to the bottom of it.
Well, what did you expect when you joined Murder, Inc.?
I love the rich Corinthian leather, it goes so well with your balaclavas.
“Get to the point, will you? Evil plans don’t just hatch themselves, you know.”
“Welcome Mr. Carter, please have a seat.”
“Oh, don’t mind the guns, we’ve fallen behind on filing all this paperwork into 3-ring binders and our paper punch just broke.”
* My little pony: Jihad edition
* The cover picture of the new book: “A Guide To Arab Democracies”
* Need an apartment for your stay in Gaza? Call Low-Rents-of Arabia
* Welcome to the Hotel California
* Howdy do Gentlemen… I’m looking for the lady of the house. Is she in? No? Well, perhaps you’d be interested in a Demonstration of the Electrosux 2000?
The two state solution, single action or automatic.
Ok, I understand Paula, but why are Randy and Simon wearing balaclavas?
1) All your Nobel Prizes belong to us!
2) Michael Moore’s not to be released finacier’s photo.
3) with a Mel Brooks voice. “It’s good to be the Shiek.”
“Catbert is ready to see you now.”
“Simon sez stand. Simon sez put your left arm down. Simon sez hold your weapon up high. Sit. ……. Oooopsy Daisy. Ali bye bye.”
1) Google’s 1st response to searchs of “Arafat’s Heirs”.
2) Yahoo!Answers #1 response to “Who let the foxes into the chicken house?” (Who asked that I don’t know)
3) Bill Gates finally IDs the culprets in ransacking the greenhouses he purchased for the Palestinians.
“Ok, you three. Now shoo before Senator Clinton
Weekend at Yassar’s
“There is no truth to the rumor that men with small penises compensate by carrying big guns!”
Hamas is so serious …
(How serious are they?)
Hamas is so serious that even men wear the niqab.
The few, the proud, the maroons.
Achmed, Yusuf, and Ishmail pose before their next defenestration party.
When news channels go bad.
AK-47s – $1800.00
Ski Masks – $90.00
Cool Tactical Vests – $120.00
Taking over the offices of “moderate” terrorist faction…Priceless.
Mohamed Card – Because Allah makes demands.
Glengarry Glen Hamas
The floor above Mahmoud Abbas’ former office is amongst the least desirable commercial real estate in Gaza, and that’s saying something.
“Hi, I’m Larry. This is my brother Darryl, and this is my other brother Darryl.”
“Excuse me sir, I have Mr. Shadow on line 4.”
“The following people are to be released from their captors: in Northern Ireland, the seven members of the New Provo Front; in Canada, the five imprisoned leaders of Liberte de Quebec; in Sri Lanka, the nine members of the Asian Dawn movement…”
Gaza’s leading citizens prepare for Rodney’s summer hiatus.
Look, Rodney said he would be away for two weeks. You got a problem with that?
Huh. And you thought Alexander Haig was scary?
Aziz (center): “Yusuf, did you just Fatah?”
In Gaza, “gun control” means something entirely different.
When Hamas invites you to a game of Scrabble, let them win.
You know, for being terrorists they sure have an eye for composition. Good balance, nice tone . . .
I guess it’s a habit the world over to keep your a**hole covered.
Rejected ideas for a surprise additional season of “The Sopranos.”
Barak’s the hyphen.
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