Thursday, June 12, 2008
Time for the Thursday OTB Caption ContestTM
Winners will be announced Monday PM
Merkel: Why won’t this moron shut the fnck up?
Merkel: “when I was young I had ze perky fun bags out to here…”
Bush: “Boobification proliferation”
Angela, will you be my Monica?
Yeah … that’s how big Barack thinks his are. Ahmadinejad will have him tied up in two minutes flat, crying for his mother. You know we’re really gunna miss you Dub.
Merkel: Would you quit saying “I know a little German.”
Bomb Iran …. don’t bomb Iran. Well, we could flip a coin?
Angela: I was slapjack king of East Berlin High
Dub: No kiddin’?
Are you still carrying those Weapons of Mass Destruction?
Merkel: “we’ve got muslims to the left, Jews to the right…here I am stuck in the middle with you”
Bush: “those Sprockets guys on SNL were a hoot”
I would wear one of your honorary flag pins, George, but horizontal stripes make me look fat.
Merkel – “No, no. Idiot. I am not President of Finland Tarja Halonen, the one who looks like Conan O’Brien. She likes back rubs.”
Merkel: “I once ate a bratwurst this big!“
Merkel: “And I, for vun, vould velcome our new Chinese uberlords . . . “
Merkel: “Und zis is vaht you call a biergarten? Vere is der suasage?”
Merkel: It’s out of my hands, Mr. President. What with Polish plumbers, Croat cabbies, Muslim mechanics and Turkish truckers, the only Germans left in Berlin are Neo-Nazis.
W: Maybe I could loan you some Hispanic hat dancers?
“Ok, so palms down, hands on your hips, THEN palms up? DAMNIT!
The Macerena is hard.”
Ze fish vas zoo gross!
Come to Texas and we will show you big fish!
“George, please, let’s just drop it. I know you’re very fit for a man your age, but ‘lame duck’ has nothing to do with the way you walk.”
Merkel: “Und then he laid it across mein hands. Ach du lieber! Vaht a vonderful thing it vas!
It’s “EU”, Mister President, not “eeeeeuu”.
Merkel: “Und ven you haff one big green ball in each hand, you haff complete control of zer Jolly Green Giant!”
“On the one hand, George, everybody thought you were wonderful before the Iraq War. On the other hand, history may still deal with you favorably. A couple of people might even think you were always wonderful. Your wife. Cheney. That dog of yours. Uh. Uh. …”
Invisible Party Tray!
I’ve already explained to you a thousand times. ‘I was only following orders’ didn’t work at Nuremberg and it certainly won’t work for the head of state.
So when the French raise their arms to surrender, you goose them in the armpits like this.
When you can snatch the European Union from my hands, then you will truly be the leader of the free world.
On the one hand we sort of owe Israel for what we did in the late unpleasantness. On the other hand, the Arabs have all the oil. So I don’t know what to do either.
I didn’t say ‘Simon says’.
Merkel: “Well Mr. President, it always comes back to the old pad versus tampon debate”
Bush: “I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit”
“George, I don’t have any frickin’ herring, ok?”
“George, there’s no basement in the Alamo.”
Merkel: “I know kung fu.”
Bush: “Show me.”
Merkel: If Europe’s libs keep taking the blue pill, then I fear all will be lost Mr. President.
Bush: Well Angie … if Senator Obama becomes President, he’s gonna put a half a dozen of em in each and every box of breakfast cereal.
“Too Many Wieners And Not Enough Kraut.”
Angela Merkel delivers the world’s first invisible wiener schnitzel.
“The Pope’s Catholic. I’m not, George. Since you’re a lame duck, why don’t you swim in the Vatican fountain while you’re there?”
“C’mon George, let’s test your reflexes.”
“I hold nothink!”
“One. Don’t go to war. Two. Keep my mouth shut. Learned them both from mistakes you made, Dubby.”
Which weighs more … a pound of feathers, or a pound of lead? Hmmm ….
“George, you just push in the holder on one end. Remove it and toss the old toilet paper roll. Put the new tp on the holder and voila!”
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