Monday, August 3, 2009
Time for the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
Winners will be announced Thursday PM
Those big ‘uns sure get thirsty.
Geez, today when drivers claim to hear voices saying “take a sharp right” more often than not it’s their Tomtoms.
Officer…..Yes lieutenant those were his exact words when I puled him out of the cab, he said, “the SOB wrecked my my garage and car with his giant wiener thing and still hasn’t paid the damages, so I’m gonna park in the Mfers!!!! MFing!!!! pool!!!
Lieutenant….was he drunk?
Officer…No, I think he was a liberal.
Lieutenant…oh, well, that explains it.
Copper: “I know the economy is in the dumper but this “job security” stuff is for the birds”.
…and I issued the driver a ticket for illegally
driving in the car pool.
The driver mentioned somthing about a topless girl sitting right here.
He claims he forgot to make his monthly GPS payment and they shut it off right back there.
The two of them were naked and took off through those bushes.
He says he was distracted by a talking ghecko.
The kid who held up the free beer sign can’t be found.
The new “splash the clunkers” program.
Well, at least you qualify for the Cash for Clunkers program now.
Following their most recent defeat, Decepticons hit an all-time low.
“Apparently, he was using his new “Birther” brand GPS.”
“Who’s the U-Boat commander?”
Having previously seen a Weiner Mobile with the same MO, the police began to suspect a serial crasher.
* The first attempt at the “Cash for Dunkers” program, brought on by a typographical error in the White House press release.
* From “Cars: The Director’s cut”… the skinning dipping scene.
(By the way I heard about this one in the local news…)
“Well, now they both qualify under the clunker program.”
What we have here is a failure to communicate.
Police were disappointed when the “sinkers” turned out to not have sprinkles.
So he was explaining to me how putting the car on the tow truck would reduce my gas mileage and how buying the tow truck would actually save me money over time as I wouldn’t be spending as much on gas when I commute. Then he started talking about the need for an economic stimulus for my household right before he drove into the pool. Last I saw him some men with hearing aids in there ears were taking him away saying he needed to get back in the office. It all made so much more sense when he was explaining it to me before he actually started doing things.
Mr. Sandler, I appreciate you comedic talents in any number of films, but I would suggest you give up this towing day job.
We wish to deny in the strongest terms that Chevy and GM are going under water. While Chevy may be taking a bit of a bath, there is no reason to think that if Chevy went under, GM would follow.
After the two departments discussed jurisdiction, they jointly decided this was a coast guard problem.
We’re gonna need a bigger boat.
You can lead 450 horses to water, but can you make them drink?
The Bobbing for Clunkers program has gotten off to a shaky start.
Repo No No
ObamaCare will work just as well as Cash 4 Clunkers
“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be posted on YouTube.”
Adams Towing: Finding new ways to explore the limits of the old adage “All press is good press”
Adams Towing – Exploring the limits of the old adage “All press is good press”.
Not sure about the charges yet. Me and the driver are joining Obama for a beer next week to work it out.
“Uh… I got distracted when I found a certified copy of Obama’s Birth Certificate in the glove compartment…”
Ok, let’s go over this again. When I said that the company needed to “pool” it’s resources…
This Cash for Clunkers Dunkers program is getting out of hand.
It’s a metaphor.
GM is underwater. This is news?
Lieutenant: “…somewhere here is one of those new fangled teachable moments…”
Lieutenant: “Are you sure it was that Ted Kennedy that was driving?”
Not a caption: Aren’t fences legally required around pools?
Officer Crowley: “Why does this stupid sh*t always happen on my shift?”
Who’s da U-boat commander?
Eventually, even Evel Knievel came to realize that his jumping days were over.
Officer…I swear it was a disembodied hand, and it crawled off that way.
Lieutenant…Look hear there is a wet bird imprint and multiple orange finger prints leading off.
Officer…Well I did find a open bag of Cheeto’s on the passenger set and a marijuana cigarette roach in the ashtray.
Lieutenant….I had better call for C.S.I.
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