Saturday, August 2, 2003
From Steven Taylor: Time for another OTB Caption ContestTM.
Inspired by a special White House screening of the X-Men sequel, President Bush invokes his psychic powers of remote viewing to reveal the secret location of Iraq’s WMD to a amazed Washington press corpse.
Helen Thomas may be dead, but I meant to type press corps, damn it.
I vote for the press corpse…
And now I will do my Carnak the Great routine. Too bad I lost my hat.
“I’m thinking of a number between 1 and 3…”
Hillary adjusts the latex mask, as she and Bill
rehearse Backup Plan #46 to retake the White House.
Come to Butthead.
For the last time, I am NOT stupid!
“If I ever find out who left the super glue open, I’m giving them a one way ticket to Iraq!”
(“Wow…If I push hard enough here…Helen Thomas begins to look just like Rumsfeld”)
Help me! Help me! I been Hypnotized!
PRESIDENT BUSH CONCENTRATES ON HIS OWN PERSONAL TOP TEN
Ã¢Â€ÂœOK, then 10 is Ã¢Â€Â˜DonÃ¢Â€Â™t Mess with TexasÃ¢Â€Â™Ã¢Â€Â
Ã¢Â€ÂœThen 9 is Ã¢Â€Â˜Michael Moore falls on Maureen Dowd.Ã¢Â€Â™Ã¢Â€Â
Ã¢Â€ÂœLetÃ¢Â€Â™s see that makes the next 2 easy.Ã¢Â€Â
Ã¢Â€ÂœNumber 8 Ã¢Â€Â˜Michael Moore falls on bin Laden or that Rodham gal if bin LadenÃ¢Â€Â™s already Texas toastÃ¢Â€Â™Ã¢Â€Â
Ã¢Â€ÂœNumber 7 Ã¢Â€Â˜Michael Moore falls on SaddamÃ¢Â€Â™Ã¢Â€Â
Ã¢Â€ÂœThat guy has plenty enough cheek to go aroundÃ¢Â€Â
Ã¢Â€ÂœOK, then 6 is Ã¢Â€Â˜DonÃ¢Â€Â™t Mess with TexasÃ¢Â€Â™Ã¢Â€Â
Ã¢Â€ÂœWait a minute I think I already used that one, better throw it in again for good measure, hehÃ¢Â€Â.
Ã¢Â€ÂœNumber 5 is Ã¢Â€Â˜That Axis of Evil thing really takes offÃ¢Â€Â™Ã¢Â€Â
Ã¢Â€ÂœNumber 4 is Ã¢Â€Â˜I get to do the landing the next time on the aircraft carrierÃ¢Â€Â™Ã¢Â€Â
Ã¢Â€ÂœOK, then they start to get really good from here on in.
Ã¢Â€ÂœThree is Ã¢Â€Â˜The NYT proclaims President Bush the best strategury president ever!Ã¢Â€Â™Ã¢Â€Â
Ã¢Â€ÂœTwo is Ã¢Â€Â˜Nuther tax cut for the richÃ¢Â€Â™Ã¢Â€Â
Ã¢Â€ÂœThis next one’s the best, hehÃ¢Â€Â
Ã¢Â€ÂœNumero Uno, Ã¢Â€Â˜President Bush, Commissioner of Baseball.Ã¢Â€Â™Ã¢Â€Â
Ã¢Â€ÂœOops I forgot to add that Michael Moore is attacked by a nest of them there vicious wiener dogs, Dammit, that makes eleven or twelve.Ã¢Â€Â
4 entries, Rodney?
I think the first one should be free, and subsequent attempts should require a contribution to the tip jar.
‘Course, I think James should be giving prizes, too. Nice ones. Cars.
Heh. I’ll tell you what, Kate: Starting tonight, I’ll take all the profits from the tip jar, discounting only for my hosting costs, and spend half of it on prizes.
Try as he might, President Bush is unable to levitate Secretary of Energy Spencer Abraham. Because he’s a fat fucker.
“Heh. I’ll tell you what, Kate: Starting tonight, I’ll take all the profits from the tip jar, discounting only for my hosting costs, and spend half of it on prizes.”
I’m thinking that, if I keep working at this caption contest thing, I’ can expect the first in a series of McDonalds Finding Nemo Happy Meal Toys.
Oh, like I could afford that.
Anything worth doing is worth overdoing. I usually average 3-4 entries on a good picture, not that I’ve had a great amount of success zeroing in on James’ sense of humor.
PS Thanks for the car James, that was a great prize for the Armstrong caption.
“Oooh, have you ever eaten ice cream too fast, and gotten that headache? Ow! Ow!”
What part of “We’re goin’ to hunt these guys until they’re gone do you NOT understand?”
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