Friday, July 2, 2004
Time for another OTB Caption ContestTM.
(I’ll announce the overdue results of the ongoing contest later today.)
The Rev. Jesse Jackson looks on in concerned disbelief as the now unpredictable former comedian, Bill Cosby, breaks into a solo of James Brown’s “I Got the Feelin’.”
Legendary musician Ray Charles, quelling rumours of his recent death, is pictured here preparing to pop an M&M into his mouth before a bemused Rev. Jesse Jackson.
“The JELLO PUDDING you see, goes into the POP, from th’BOTTOM! The BOTTOM! AND YOU KIDS TODAY– BLACK AMERICA–YOU JUST DON’T SEEM TO GET THAT!”
/I think I’m hellbound for this one.
“So I told the network, now that I’ve made you a zillion gajillion billion dollars doing the show your way, I want to come back and do it my way, with Phylicia, but with a whole bunch of new kids ’cause Theo and Rudy are all grown up now, and now that you know how much money I can make you, you won’t worry about me not being a rich doctor and her not being a high-powered lawyer. And so they agreed to let me do another version of the Cosby show, and now ’cause it didn’t make ’em any money they hate my guts. And I stuck it to the man by hard work and showin’ ’em what I could do. And that’s the American way, you knuckleheads!”
“You want a helping hand? Come here fool. I’ll give you a helping hand.”
“Trust me. Gray hair is God’s graffiti.”
“A word to the wise ain’t necessary — it’s the stupid ones who need the advice.”
“Theo, why do you say these things when you know I must kill you for it?”
“Live, from Carnegie Hall, it’s Saturday Night!”
“Now just how in the hell does Stevie do it. I can’t see a thing inside with these damn sunglasses on.”
“Well OutKast can come right here and I’ll give them some Poo-woo-woo to smell.”
“Now I want to tell you kids one more time…
Don’t rant and rave (Sorry Rev. Jackson)
Speak correct English and enunciate clearly (Sorry Jesse)
Don’t discriminate against others, like the jews (Uh, sorry again)
Don’t have kids out of wedlock (Sorry again, Jesse)
Don’t be so angry and belligerent (Well, not so sorry that time)
“Yes, Dammit, I told Kerry I would not run on his ticket.”
Jesse: “Why is that man talking in that strange voice?”
“So then I grabbed Culp by the balls and said “No, dammit, I get the girl this time.”
Rev Jackson thinking: What is dat language dat African American man is speaking? It’s, it’s proper English! Oh dis jes’ won’ do.
“Mama needs a new pair of shoes, comin’ out on seven…”
“Shoot Cosby, you’re faded.”
Kool Kos Krushes Ku Klux Klan
I got yer Puddin’ Pops right here!
The Reverand Jesse Jackson looks on as comedian Bill Cosby expresses his outrage of loosing his vision after reading the first lesson in “ebonics are easy.”
“I’m telling you. When you’re young it’s hooters and gams.”
“Fatherhood is pretending the gift you love most is soap-on-a-rope and/or a tie.”
Yes, it’s true. Fat Albert went on to a successful medical practice. Mushmouth? Well…let’s just say….he b-be-b doing-b ten-b to b-twenty-b in-b the b-bighouse b-man-b.
“See this little piece of snot? That is, I believe, the size of your brain.”
“Got a roach-clip?”
P.S. I hope I’m not going to hell for that one.
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