Caption Contest

I know one is still running and I haven’t yet announced the results of the one before that (soon, Grasshopper) but this one was too good to resist.

OTB Caption ContestTM:

AP photo via Drudge Report
Write your caption in the comments below.

Update: Mark the Pundit (via Allah) has an amusing variant of the photo from the same event.

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James Joyner
About James Joyner
James Joyner is Professor and Department Head of Security Studies at Marine Corps University's Command and Staff College. He's a former Army officer and Desert Storm veteran. Views expressed here are his own. Follow James on Twitter @DrJJoyner.


  1. Bob Hawkins says:


  2. Sorry, no caption from me. I just wish he would get his finger off of that trigger, while he’s looking away from whatever his weapon is covering.

  3. Elvis says:

    “Tell the Supreme Court that I’m ready for the 2004 fight.”

  4. Brian J. says:

    “Chaaaaaarge (the retirement costs of my generation so that the bill comes due only after we’re all dead and no longer paying taxes)!”

  5. pennywit says:

    “We have switched Rock ‘n’ Roll Hero John Kerry’s electric guitar with a large gun. Let’s see if he notices the difference.”

  6. Walter says:

    Peasants? I love the peasants. Pull!

  7. marcus says:

    Democratic Presidential Nominee John Kerry yells at a handler to, “Pull the damn string and make the birdie fly” during a photo session in bubbaville, AL. Moments later a visibly upset Kerry asked the handler, “How on earth do you expect me to get the gun vote, when we can’t even pull the string?” then procedded to wing them.

  8. Professor Kaos says:

    “I dont miss! That son of a bitch secret service agent made me miss!”

  9. Martin says:

    “.. And as soon as the boat reached the riverbank, I charged this way into the jungle. I, you know, served in Vietnam. And that was before I starting denouncing these actions as atrocities.”

  10. paladin says:

    Davey, Daaaaavy Crockett, King of the Wild Frontier! (Probably only old Boomers will get this.)

  11. McGehee says:

    “Hurry up and take the picture before this evil weapon decides to just up and blow somebody away! Besides, these dungarees you insisted I wear are chafing me unmercifully!”

  12. La Femme Crickita says:

    This was exactly the position I was in when I got my first Purple Heart, you know, the one where I fired and wasn’t looking and the schrapnel nicked my bicep? I got that Purple Heart in Viet Nam. My men were surprised that none hit me in the face…had that happened, I would have put myself in for Congressional Medal of Honor. “Pull!”

    You know, it is all about nuance: The way the pigeons fly on being released, whether or not I have any shells, and most of all, if I actually hit anything. I almost shot myself in the foot in VietNam. That was when I got my second Purple Heart. Did you know I was a veteran of that war?

    “Oh Ruuuuubeeeeeeeeee….don’t take your love to town!”

  13. dick says:

    Hold it like this? Owww fuck that barrel is hot!!

  14. Jerry says:

    OK, Release that damn Elephant!

  15. AmericanFarmer says:

    The naive villagers did not realize the magnitude of the mistake they had made when they put fire power in the hands of the Frankenstein creature.

  16. commodore says:

    Awww, leave Davy Crockett out of this. He was a true American Hero, and Stood for something…and I knew Davy Crockett and believe me, Kerry is no Davy Crockett. Kerry is a crock.

  17. Jim says:

    In remembrence of Kerry last sking trip:

    “I never fire blanks”

  18. Cassandra says:

    Once again, Senator John Kerry demonstrates that he is incapable of straight shooting.

  19. Cassandra says:

    “I never miss!”

    “That %$@! Secret Service Agent moved the f***ing target!”

  20. Cassandra says:

    Wounded in the leg by ricocheted buckshot from his own shotgun, Senator John Kerry wonders how many Purple Hearts he can put himself in for…

  21. Dr. harden Stuhl says:

    Hold the heel of the shotgun just under the edge of your armpit with the barrel pointed down range…
    Hold the heel of the shotgun just under the edge of your armpit with the barrel pointed down range…
    Look down the barrel…and pull the trigger to see if it is loaded….
    Geez…what a moron…

  22. La Femme Crickita says:

    After firing the practice round, the Senator asked for a ‘live’ target, you know, like they had in Viet Nam. And wait til he tells Tur RAY za that he fired BOTH barrels! She always said that he was ‘half cocked.’

  23. La Femme Crickita says:

    One for the Gipper!

    He shoots, he scores!

    Uh, yeah, I think it is very important that I see my ‘gun’ as an extension.

  24. Pile On® says:

    Here, let me show you how we celebrate a wedding out on the cape.

    “Woh–who–ey! Who–ey! Who–ey! Woh–who–ey! Who–ey!

  25. Pile On® says:

    From my cold dead fingers. FROM MY COLD DEAD FINGERS!!!

    Heh hehehe, do you think I made a connection with the knuckle dragging gun rack crowd?

  26. La Femme Crickita says:

    Pile On, I think you gave the gun crowd something to
    ‘shoot’ at….*running away laughing madly*

  27. Rodney Dill says:

    “This is how I’ll finally get someone to accept the VP position with me on the ticket.”

  28. Hermoine says:

    “My wife says I don’t look like Herman Munster!”

  29. Chortle says:

    “On OTB, I am damned if I do and damned if I don’t.”

  30. Doug of tfid says:

    While trying to convince the gullable that he is not a gun-grabber, Kerry suddenly started to bray like a donkey.

    Hey, he’s a Democrat.

  31. Rodney Dill says:

    “Michael Moore? can’t live with him, can’t shoot him. Damn!”

  32. Rodney Dill says:

    “Whaddya mean, Dubya’s gun is bigger?”

  33. Cassandra says:

    The Presidential candidate shows the press the kind of support US troops can expect from a Kerry administration:

    “Just look at my voting record on Defense spending. Unlike George Bush, I know state-of-the-art weaponry when I see it. After all, I served in Viet Nam.”

  34. spd rdr says:

    “I hit it! I hit it! Okay, Teresa, throw me another doggie treat!”

  35. La Femme Crickita says:

    How’s THIS for dealing with erectile dysfunction?

  36. Cassandra says:

    Oh Cricket…how could you???

    (but I’m glad you did…)

  37. spd rdr says:

    “I said, ‘Was that your dog?'”

  38. Rodney Dill says:

    “Yea, Yea, I hit the barn! Now run down there quick and paint a bullseye around the bullet hole.”

  39. Rodney Dill says:

    “Ready, Fire, Aim. Not so hard, just like Politics.”