Monday, January 31, 2005
Time for The Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
Everything’s bigger’n Texas
Winners will be announced Thursday PM
Oooohhh!!! A See-Saw!!
Why is it that everytime I see a woman in an evening dress, I get horny?
All there are in Texas are Steers and Queers. We have the steers. And We have the dynamic dua, “the lesbian ladies”.
“Finally, a bull who can satisfy two women at once.”
Apologies to Steve Martin in Roxanne.
Ooh, tough one.
Attempt 1: The two attractive hostesses were ready to serve up some ground beef. (Hint:Ground Beef – A Cow With No Legs)
Attempt #2: The two attractive hostesses were overcome by a feeling of Deja-Moo…. the feeling they’d dealt with this cow previously.
Attempt #3: The two attractive hostesses were overcome by a feeling of Deja-Moo…. the feeling they’d dealt with this cow previously.
Attempt #4: Bozsie, having been an udder failure in the milking department, tries her luck at Modeling at trade shows.
Attempt #5 Wait…. this is a CAT?
Attempt #6: “Actually, Hariet, that whole thing about Mrs O’Leary’s cow is a myth….”
Attempt #7: Cow-tipping is now a sport among the rich and famous.
Attempt#8: Well, Harriet, you should in fairness tell your viewers I didn’t REALLY jump over the moon unaided… I actually used methane as a propelant.
Attempt #9: Well, Hariett, when I went bungee jumping, I discovered that milk DOES come out my nose.
Attempt #10 : The fast Blonde jumped over the lazy brown cow.
Bevo: “We win the Rose Bowl and these are the dates I get?”
When Hillary’s wishes came true, these two ladies were left all dressed up with no where to go.
Once again, Europe interpreted a harmless sign as Satanic in nature.
What all the wealthy people take with them when shopping for fine china.
Come to the Red, White, and Blue Steakhouse. When you absolutely need your steak as fresh as possible.
Didn’t anyone tell them?
This mod cow was de-kneesed.
Miss April Cleaver with her twin Miss June Cleaver to accept the “Miss Red Bull Crown” for 2005.
Makers of Red Bull(TM) denied any evidence of long-term effects of drinking the beverage twice a day for one year that Miss J. Cleaver was contracturally obligated to do.
Attempt #11: So, what are you two girls doing after the show? How ’bout we go back to my place?
Go ahead ladies. Touch them. I promise they are real.
This comment was overheard by the media…
As Sen. Lisa Murkowski and Sen. Joan Kerry (John in drag) were looking on…
Sen Joan Kerry: “Oh my Lisa.. this damn thing really does make me horny!!!!!!!”
Not even gonna touch this one
A symptom of mad cow disease occurs when your animal imagines women dressed in evening attire trying to sidle up. Be suspicious if the cow also relates that there was red, white and blue bunting.
Texas Longhorn cheerleaders’ reunion…..
Steer Exudation – Better Than Botox. Two women, same age, same ex-husband. Woman on left uses Steer Exudation. Shouldn’t you?
The original picture actually showed the aging stages of a female…somebody Fark’d it.
The latest bovine fad….Horn Ornaments.
Toy Class favorite for the Westminster Dog Show, to be held February 12 – 16, 2005 in New York City, the
Texas Long-Horned Chihuahua. Owners Nicholette and
Ethel Haeffer feel assured of a win if they can
comfortably fit Sir Nigel Ogdnen III (Snooty) into his carrier for the long trip.
What do you mean we can’t bring him in the dining room? He’s a seeing-eye steer. Mama’s from Austin, you know.
The ladies are thrilled at having won the centerpiece at one of the many inagural parties for W.
Meee so Horrrneey!
Overhyped was the weapon of mass destruction.
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