Thursday, April 7, 2005
Time for the Thursday OTB Caption ContestTM
Winners will be announced Monday PM
CAUTION: CHILD ABDUCTION ZONE
CAUTION: FAMILIES ESCAPING TO MEXICO.
The newest solution coming from the Minuteman project reminds drivers to use caution when aiming for families of illegals, because they can sometimes run really fast.
The Mexican government is now posting cartoon signs along our borders.
“Reinforce Your Front Bumper And Floor It”
The INS unveils a new sign developed by Presidents G Bush and V. Fox designed to help “undocumented” workers cross streets in Texas.
OK, kids, now let’s play “count the illegals”.
“CAUTION: OLD-SCHOOL ZONE”
The Arizona Border Patrol officers had to quickly replace the new sign after someone had graffitied red crosshairs on the previous one.
Liberals attributed the graffiti to the newly formed “Minutemen.”
It’s an old sign : CAUTION – try not to run over the Alec Baldwins as they leave the country.
Actually it’s an even older sign : CAUTION – Clinton Family running for office.
Nope – it’s older still, from the sixties : CAUTION – you and your family are invited to a Kennedy Family midnight swim party.
CAUTION: RECKLESS FAMILIES CROSS ROAD HERE.
“Mommy? Daddy? Shouldn’t we look both ways before we cross this busy highway?”
The new signs were installed immediately after “The Day After Tomorrow” was released–Mexico was concerned that they could not “seal the border” as quickly as portrayed in the movie.
The ACLU threated to sue the Fox government for not providing the equal access required under the Mexicans with Disabilities Act.
“All the really choice vegetable-picking jobs are going fast, so don’t walk, RUN!! (And bring the kids — they’re closer to the ground!!)
BEWARE ! THIS IS AN NUDIST SKYCLAD ZONE ! Dr. Laura and Star Jones are sunbathing nude ! RUN FOR IT ! LEST,YE GO BLIND, 2 ! YOU’RE WARNED IN SMALL PRINT ! THAT IS , YOU’VE PASSED BEYOND THE SAFETY POINT ! RUN , RUN , ran !
Just a reminder, folks.
It’s every man for himself.
Women and children must watch out for each other.
Severina Vuckovic is naked again , folks ! Why do you think they call this Split , Croatia ?! Everyone does Splitsville ! Moral : Dat’s when she’s Bare Bare !
When corporate America needed a source of cheap, outsourced labor they knew right where to look — under Laurence Simon’s front bumper.
After Bush’s second inagural, thousands of families fled to Canada.
CAUTION: Silhouette Crossing
This sign warns motorists that monochrome two-dimensional beings often cross this section of highway.
What’d happened ? Pay Toileteries On Strike ?! Well, it looks like , We’s , too, Wiz Outdoors now ?!
Prosecuters are considering posting a sign like this one outside Neverland.
Everyone scatter! Here comes Rather. And he’s got documents!
Cleopatra: Now here’s something more your speed.
Nero the Hero: That’ll be at least 200 points!
Cleopatra: If they scatter, go for the baby and the mother.
blatantly stolen: Death Race 2000.
Mr. Spielberg, I believe we have located an ideal location for the “War of the Worlds” billboard placement.
Dad looks back and laughs, “I don’t have to outrun the INS, I only have to outrun you.”
Cropped portion of the sign: “Uninsured Jaywalkers.”
The Running Man and his family say, “We’ll be back.”
The family that sprints together stays together.
Help us Mr. Liberal!
“Yeah, it’s wierd, these signs have been popping up everywhere all of a sudden. They are along I5 in California, in the Sudan, in Zimbabwe, in Venezuela, in North Korea, and after the last election even in Hollywood — though the ones in Holywood feature stretch limos and porters.”
“Ã‚Â¡CUIDADO! Silhouetas corrientes muy rapido!”
Next, on Family Fear Factor: The highway-crossing competition!
A southwestern custom is to time the runners on radar.
CAUTION: Three legged Siamese Twin child abductor crossing
Ted saw the sign and quickly wondered what the reward was for running the people over.
CAUTION! Please look both ways before illegally crossing the border!
Sung to the song “George of the Jungle” with Jorge pronounced “Hor-hey”
Jorge, Jorge on the freeway fat as he can be, watch out for that Z!
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