Monday, January 2, 2006
Time for the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
Winners will be announced Thursday PM
“Sometimes you have to go to lunch with the money you have, not the money you think you need.”
Many of his advisers at the Pentagon felt Rumsfeld never really grasped fully what the implications would be for downsizing troop numbers in Iraq too quickly.
In another leak of classified information, Reuter’s published photos of Donal Rumsfeld working undercover as a food server. Unnammed sources say Rumsfeld was personally following up on a tip that Bin Laden had been seen with Elvis eating at a military mess in Iraq. Critics of the administration immediately protested the clandestine survellance as yet another instance of a power mad grab for control by the Bush administration in a long line of illegal intrusion on US citizen privacy noting that Elvis was a US citizen. Supporters of the administration defended the warrantless search by claiming, with out supporting court documents, that Rumsfeld was just serving Christmas dinner to the troops and that any secrecy was for security purposes.
“How about some eggs of mass destruction then?”
PREDICTIONS FOR 2006: Rumsfeld is reassigned to a position better suited to his abilities.
“Geesh, this cutlet is overdone enough to slap on the bottom of a Humvee.”
“Being President means you get to do the nice, neat, Plastic Turkey(TM)…”
Ladies and gentlemen, the Christmas dinner voting is now counted and here are the results:
The vegetables will be mashed potatoes and corn.
The drinks will be eggnog and beer.
And the main course will be sauteed Michael Moore served by Defense Secretary Rumsfeld.
“The vegetable is a known unknown. The meat is an un known unknown.”
President Bush was so moved by Rumsfeld’s voluntary lunch-duty that he awarded the Secretary of Defense the Medal of Freedom. Good job Donnie!
The soldier wondered if Rumsfeld had washed his hands after using the loo.
The REAL reason our soldiers are dying in Iraq.
Some people serve who only stand and waiter.
(note to the BBC: Yes, Rummy also served in the U.S. Navy)
Good one, McGehee.
“‘It’s yummy in your tummy, dummy,’ said Rummy,” according to Maureen Dowd, who imagines that the Secretary of Defense would call everyone in uniform stupid. Projection is a terrible thing.
“Do you want fries with that?”, asked the Secretary of Defense. “I’ve always wanted to say that,” he followed up.
“Mmm…, census taker’s liver.”
A Norman Rockwell moment, featuring someone who actually knew Norman Rockwell.
Yeah, McGehee beat me to the punch as well with his unknown unknowns.
(AP) MOSUL, IRAQ. Despite the quagmire in Iraq, Rumsfeld serves his Hamburger Hill Helper again.
Secretary of Defence
Secretary of De-Gas
Our soilders deserve better.
“The fact that you don’t know what’s in this dinner gives me no small pleasure.”
Welcome to McRumsfeld’s, you want freedom with that?
Always a fan of the latest weaponry, Rumsfeld took great glee in serving up some “belly bombers.”
As Rummy clearly demonstrates, serving is indeed an honor and a privilege.
“Mr. Secretary, thank you for allowing us to eat some of the good food we serve at Abu Ghraib and Gitmo instead of these nasty MRE’s.”
After publication of this photo, Democrats were quick to charge the Bush administration with misleading the troops in believing thursday was pizza day.. surely hearings will follow
come and get it, carved up enemies of America, today special chickens… or if you will the french.
Rummy gave all the troops a laugh by serving his world famous chicken french.
The troops were thankful this year that Rumsfield was only “working the line” in the cafeteria. They had heard from last year that he was a Weapon of Mass Destruction when he “worked the BBQ” and served Montezuma’s Revenge.
“As you know, you get served by the turkey you have, not the turkey you might want or wish to have at a later time.”
“…another serving of Ass Destruction, please…”
This was the Grinch’s best plan ever, he thought…
Okay, I tried to come up with a good one for this contest; but, the more I looked at ReuterÃ¢Â€Â™s caption to the photo, the more POÃ¢Â€Â™d I got:
1) Why the Ã¢Â€Âœ(R)Ã¢Â€Â after RumsfeldÃ¢Â€Â™s name? Is this lame attempt at guilt by association really necessary? HeÃ¢Â€Â™s not an elected official. To my knowledge, he has never even run for office as a Republican.
2) I must say IÃ¢Â€Â™m shocked they mentioned Ã¢Â€ÂœChristmasÃ¢Â€Â.
3) Ã¢Â€ÂœCut by SOME 7,000Ã¢Â€Â, casually brushing it off as insignificant.
4) Reuters provides the actual number of combat troop reductions, but only uses the word Ã¢Â€ÂœincreaseÃ¢Â€Â for the Iraqi military training expansion. Is this omission because the Ã¢Â€ÂœincreaseÃ¢Â€Â is not all that much, and leaving it vague makes a negative impression of what should be excellent news?
Sorry for the rant.
“Dining on Ashes, sir?”
Rummy: “And what would you like on the Turkey, Private?”
Private: “Oh nothing, the hat is just fine sir.”
With a confident wink, he suggested that Osama may never be found in one piece.
Bar patron orders a rummy and croak.
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