Monday, April 17, 2006
Time for the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
Winners will be announced Thursday PM
“Uh huh. Uh huh. Okay. It’s for you, Seabiscuit.”
With the convention in town, Agriculture Secretary hopeful William Bell knew finding parking would be a challenge.
The President of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, prepares to lead his military in the defense of his country.
The Latest AP Gallop Poll
Agriculture Secretary hopeful Bell, moments before he was cited for not using a ‘hands-free’ device while operating a vehicle.
William Bell tries to stirrup some support.
In an effort to help reduce US dependence on foreign oil, Ford introduces its retro Mustang model for 2007.
If he keeps talking on that cellphone he’s liable to become a bit hoarse.
William Bell shows the latest effort to become oil independent. The front end of the conveyance is built in South Carolina and is then shipped to Washington DC for final assembly.
(apologies to Will Rogers)
After driving a hybrid for three years and receiving tons of unsolicited advice from fellow motorists…
pull over buddy…
“William Bell, I wish I knew how to quit you.”
In a bold move, one politician isn’t mouthing platitudes about ‘alternative energy sources’ and instead is taking action on ‘alternative transportation’.
America’s idolization of the cowboy is over. First we have brokeback mountain and now I get stuck behind a jerk talking on a cell phone while putting along on a single horse power.
Please tell me that’s a saddlebag and not a purse.
“Honey, I swear. I’m not horsing around.”
“And now for something completely different…”
What high fuel costs are you talking about?
I traded in my SUV for this, and the Sierra Club STILL won’t let me in because I’m a republican!
“Hello? DNC headquarters? Yes, I’d like to make a hefty donation to your wonderful party. Just send a couple of guys with a truck and scoop shovels right down Main Street. They’ll find it.”
The last words the horse wants to hear: “I have to go, my battery is running low and I need to plug in the charger.”
“What do you mean, ‘And the horse you rode in on?'”
“Happy trails to you too, Mr. President.”
Ford’s new Pinto was banned in California as it did not meet emission control standards.
“A loaf of bread, a dozen eggs, yes, I think I’ll remember the 20 pound bag of oats dear.”
“Society for Creative Anachronism? Have I got a photo op for you.”
Can you hear me now? Good.
Few people actually thought of the “William Tell Overture” when they heard Ed’s ringtone.
“Finally Some One In Washington With A Little Horse-Sense?”
Rollin’, Rolling’, Rollin’,
Rollin’, Rolling’, Rollin’,
Though the media streams are swollen,
Keep them doggies rollin’,
Liberal rain and wind and partisan weather
Hell bent for leather
Wishin’ my gal was by my side
All the things I’m missin
Good griddles love and kissin’
Are waitin at the end of my ride.
Move em’ on,
Head em’ up,
Cut em’ out
Ride em’ in
Cut em’ out,
Hey Habib. Yeah, I asked for the double hump camel, but the closest that Budget had was this lousy horse. Oh well, as long as it puts out like a camel.
Placing the Iraqi coalition in utter turmoil, Norway withdraws their troop.
Just another politician on a “Straight Talk America” tour, while leaving a trail of crap behind him.
“Border Patrol To Base, I Think I Took The Wrong Turn At El paso.”
“Whoa boy! I said Trent Lott not trot!”
1) “Who let the horse’s out! Who? Who?” just didn’t have the rallying effect for the Iranians that the mullah’s were promised by their PR department.
2) The new Iranian stealth camel, carrying a real dummy President Ahmadinejad. No one would ever think of shooting that horse down, Oh no, especially an Isreali soldier.
3) President Ahmadinejad was hoping a horse powered nu-cle-ar device has the “Ummph” that a true USA-built Thermonuclear device does. He will be sadly mistaken.
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