Caption Contest

Time for another OTB Caption ContestTM:

Write your caption in the comments below.
AP photo via YahooNews

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James Joyner
About James Joyner
James Joyner is Professor and Department Head of Security Studies at Marine Corps University's Command and Staff College. He's a former Army officer and Desert Storm veteran. Views expressed here are his own. Follow James on Twitter @DrJJoyner.


  1. Boyd says:

    I. Did not. Eat. Cheeseburgers. At that. Restaurant. McDonalds.

  2. Nobody told me Kool-Aid is mostly sugar!!!!!!

  3. Bithead says:

    Mr Gore, who failed as a politician, is attempting a second carreer… He’s trying to make in in the field of acting. Here, Mr. Gore is trying out for the part of Atticus Finch, from “To Kill a Mockingbird”.

    Mr Gore has put on 40 lbs to play the role, but has somehow neglected that Atticus Finch wore glasses.

  4. wheelz says:


  5. Clinton says:

    “You know, I invented McDonald’s Cheeseburgers.”

  6. McGehee says:

    1. “Hey you! Waiter! Get that platter of donuts over here pronto!

    2. “I’ve put my credibility in a lockbox.”

    3. An exclusive still from the still-in-production movie “Moonbat”, with Stephen Root in the role of Al Gore.

  7. Rob B. says:

    “Go ahead. Pull my finger.”

  8. Eric Akawie says:

    “I’m not going to pay a lot for that muffler!”

  9. Matt says:

    Hey, where are you guys going with your television cameras I’m not done yet!

  10. Rodney Dill says:

    In the end Kirstie Alley gave up on the weight problem, became a man, and had a fairly successful career on the comedy circuit as an Al Gore impersonator.

  11. Rodney Dill says:

    It’s the donuts, stupid.

  12. LJD says:

    I’m drunk, pissed off, and I have a gun!

  13. Martin says:

    Forget “Earth in the balance”, I’m having trouble balancing myself.

  14. Al Gore’s demon possession has not worked out as well as he had hoped . . .

  15. Rodney Dill says:

    Political Outkast 2004
    I know you’d like to think your shit don’t stank
    But lean a little bit closer, see
    Roses really smell like POO-POO-OO
    Yeah, roses really smell like POO-POO-OO

  16. sligobob says:

    With his last ounce of integrity balanced precipitously on the tip of his finger, Al Gore launches a hefty attack on President Bush and his bald faced lies.

  17. Eric Akawie:

    Funnier if you’d said:

    “I’m not gonna pay a lot for that MUFFIN”


  18. Mark says:


  19. Midgard says:

    Mr. Gore: Therefore, if a Republican weighs more that a duck, he must be …. ?

    Crowd: (hesitation) A witch!! Burn him!!

  20. David C says:

    “And if I live long enough to claim it, I will NOT let evil Republicans steal my Social Security check!”

    (Lame caption, but, yikes, doesn’t Gore look old in this picture? Looks like a three-way “composite morph” of Al Gore, Ted Kennedy, and Robert Byrd or something.

  21. norbizness says:

    If you fucking beat this prick long enough, he’ll tell you he started the goddamn Chicago fire, now that don’t necessarily make it fucking so!


  22. ben says:

    “I invented nervous breakdowns”!!!

  23. Miller's Crossing says:

    “Harvey Fierstein, Disgusted with Bush, Threatens to Get Medieval on All Our Asses.”

  24. Pile On® says:

    Al Gore delivers another vicious diatribe against George Bush, fulfilling his role as elder hatesman of the Democrat party.

  25. elgato says:

    Al Gore was declared a Category Five Blowhard this morning…

  26. Dave says:

    Question: If a washed-up political has-been screams incoherently at a fund-raiser, does anyone else hear him?


  27. Joe says:


  28. Robert says:

    “George Bush stole my donuts! And I am very angry!”

  29. Frank Martin says:

    Al Gore takes the role of Dr. Emiliano Lizardo in the new tony award winning ‘BUCKAROO BANZAI- THE MUSICAL !” to a whole new level.

    AL: “Character is-a what-a you are inna da dark, cursed is your soul and-a damned is-a your life…”

    AL: “Where are we going”

    Lectroid chorus: “PLANET 10!!”

    AL: “When are we going?”

    Lectroid chorus:”REAL SOON!”

  30. Bill in CO says:

    Barkeep! Another round! An’ keep ’em comin’, we’re jush gettin’ shtarted!

  31. Dobie says:

    I’m gonna open up a 55-gallon drum of whoop-ass and pour it on your head!

  32. jruben says:

    If only I got 800 more votes in Florida I would not be this over weight, jobless, washed-up bore that you see before you today. Better yet, you wouldn’t even know John Kerry exists. The way it is…I suffer…you suffer. Let’s have a recount.

  33. JOHNNIE DONTOS says:


  34. m says:

    “Remember the wisdom of Solomon in the book of Proverbs. ‘He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind!'” –Matthew Harrison Brady

  35. Pile On® says:

    After four years without proper supervision and medication the Naomi Wolfe alpha-male reprogramming hits critical mass.

  36. swampfox says:

    Seig Heil!

  37. swampfox says:

    Seig Heil!

  38. swampfox says:

    Who stole the strawberries?

  39. I demand a recount of Bill Clinton’s bypasses. Let no bypass be left uncounted.

  40. Redman says:

    Tipper! TIPPER!!

    Don’t you walk away when I’m talking to you!

  41. swampfox says:

    Now there’s no need for that I know exactly what hell tell you. Lies! He was no different than any officer in the wardroom — they were all disloyal, I tried to run the ship properly by the book but they fought me at every turn. If the crew wanted to walk around with their shirttails hanging out that’s all right let them take the tow line. Defective equipment no more no less, but they encouraged the crew to go around scoffing at me and spreading wild rumors about steaming and circles. And then old yellow stain. I was to blame for Lt. Merrick’s incompetence and poor seamanship. Lt. Merrick was the perfect officer but not Captain Queeg.
    Ah, but the strawberries! That’s where I had them. They laughed at me and made jokes, but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt, and with geometric logic, that a duplicate key to the wardroom icebox did exist! And I’d have produced that key if they hadn’t pulled Caine out of action! I-I-I know now they were only trying to protect some fellow officer and!

  42. swampfox says:

    The Madness of Captain Queeg

  43. Mike M says:

    “Now I am the ruler of all the ocean! The waves obey my every whim! The sea and all its spoils bow to my power!” -Ursula Gore, the Sea Witch

  44. BAM says:

    “(the screeching sound from Invasion of the body Snatchers)”

  45. Steve says:

    Oh. My. God. Is that really Al Gore???

  46. swampfox says:

    I’m a stuffed pig.

  47. swampfox says:

    Professor Irwin Corey on steroids

  48. Who are you, and what have you done with Al Gore?

    (Seriously – I can’t get over how much worse Gore looks now.)

  49. Matt Navarre says:
  50. TJ says:

    “TO THE MOON, TIPPER!!!!!”

  51. “He misled us into Iraq. He misled us into a lousy economy. He misled us into this damned low-carb craze that doesn’t work for shit.”

  52. Pete Samwel says:

    In an apparent alteration in campaign tactics, the DNC brought in the notorious toothless man from ‘Deliverance’ to launch the latest series of canine attacks on President Bush: “He’s got a real pretty mouth on him, don’t he?”

  53. Simon says:

    “Does my face look fat in this?”

  54. Beldar says:

    I don’t want to hear about Bill Clinton’s bypass surgery! I said a Double Whopper with Cheese, and I meant a Double Whopper with Cheese!

  55. savoryjohnson says:

    Having behind us the producing masses of this nation and the world, supported by the commercial interests, the laboring interests, and the toilers everywhere, we will answer their demand for a gold standard by saying to them: You shall not press down upon the brow of labor this crown of thorns, you shall not crucify mankind upon a cross of gold.

  56. Rodney Dill says:

    “You can make fun of me all you want, I invented the OTB Caption Contest.”

  57. Bugz says:

    Good Gawd! What HAS he been eating?

    Oh, yeah. Caption contest. How about…


    I always think ‘zombie’ whenever I see Big Al.

  58. F. Haynes says:

    Which one of you threw that ugly stick at me????

  59. Bill in CO says:

    “This town needs an enema!”

    – The Joker

  60. Dodd says:

    “Ask not what your country can do for you,
    Ask where I can get a doughnut.”

  61. Dan D says:

    I invented the typwriter and I can tell you for a fact… those memos were not forged.

  62. La Femme Crickita says:

    Al Gore bidding on one of Rush Limbaugh’s old

    Al Gore auditioning for “Phantom of the Opera”

    Al Gore singing “Impossible Dream” to a bunch of
    Kerry supporters.

  63. La Femme Crickita says:

    It was ME! I gave those memos to Dan Rather
    and HE WANTS the glory! Well, I invented forged documents to give to news anchors.

  64. Rodney Dill says:

    Now look at them yo-yo’s that’s the way you do it
    You play Politician on MS-N-B-C
    That ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
    Money for nothin’ and Chad’s for free
    Now that ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
    Lemme tell ya them guys ain’t dumb
    Maybe get a blister on your little finger
    Maybe get a blister on your thumb

    Not such dire straits for Al Gore.

  65. Rodney Dill says:

    “You’re not just lookin’ at some drunk, washed up, low life. You’re lookin’ at the next Ted Kennedy.”

  66. Rodney Dill says:

    “I’m Damn tired of all the lie slingin’ goin’ on, but I’ll tell you one thing, when it comes to lies, it ain’t over ’til the Fat man slings.”

  67. Elizabeth Southern says:

    “There is no controlling eating authority.”

  68. Elizabeth Southern says:

    Al Gorged

  69. Sabina Gasper says:

    I did NOT gain 50 pounds. It’s only 48.5!!!!!!

  70. Hermoine says:

    “I am so fat that NASA orbits satellites around me monitored on the Internet I invented.”

  71. La Femme Crickita says:

    Rodney Dangerfield look alike. No respect either.

  72. Thom says:

    “I will have George Bush frozen in carbonite, just like Han Solo over there!”

  73. Rodney Dill says:

    “Yes, Dammit, I invented the Times New Roman font.”

  74. Rachel Edith says:

    “For better or worse, I say to you, I invented Rodney Dill!”

  75. Rodney Dill says:

    “dubya…dubya…dubya…that’s all Folks.”

    (Thanks for the laugh Rachel Edith)

  76. marymcl says:

    It’s ours, it is, precious, and we wants it!!

  77. Hodink says:

    “Yes, there were times.
    I’m sure you knew.
    When I bit off.
    More than I could chew.
    And I did it myyyyyyyy way.”

  78. Rodney Dill says:

    “Today I’m only giving out Chocolates and Ass-kickings, and I already ate all the Chocolates, so …”