Cat Stevens: Terrorist?
While I was skeptical of the decision to divert an airplane to arrest the artist formerly known as Cat Stevens, crack investigative reporter Andy Borowitz reveals the great threat that he truly presents to the Republic:
Hours after being refused entry into the U.S., 1970s recording star Cat Stevens lashed out at the government Wednesday, vowing to resume his recording career “immediately” as the ultimate act of revenge.
Appearing on the Arabic-language satellite TV channel Al Jazeera, a visibly angry Stevens Ã¢€” now known by the name Yusuf Islam Ã¢€” threatened to attack the United States with the full force of his insipid folk-rock music. Brandishing an acoustic guitar, the erstwhile pop star warned that “no one in America would be safe from my insidious melodies” before launching into a spirited rendition of his 1971 hit “Peace Train.”
A spokesman for the CIA said experts needed more time to study the chilling video but that it appeared to be authentic: “We do not believe that anyone but the real Cat Stevens remembers the lyrics to ‘Peace Train.’
Hat tip to Rich Gardner in the comments of the original post.