Dumping Rummy

Scott Ott:

U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld should resign immediately to demonstrate to the global community how the American justice system works, according to Democrat presidential hopeful John Forbes Kerry.

“Our system of justice says that a man is innocent until drummed out of office through the outcry of his political opponents,” said Mr. Kerry. “Our troops are fighting and dying so that someday Iraqis and Afghanis will enjoy that kind of justice, unhindered by the grinding cogs of so-called ‘due process of law’.”

Mr. Kerry added that when he becomes president, he’ll fire any cabinet member who won’t quit after his political opponents call for his resignation.

“The world is watching us,” said Mr. Kerry. “We must demonstrate that, in a free nation, justice is blind and deaf.”

A typical case of American blind justice.

FILED UNDER: Humor
James Joyner
About James Joyner
James Joyner is Professor and Department Head of Security Studies at Marine Corps University's Command and Staff College and a nonresident senior fellow at the Scowcroft Center for Strategy and Security at the Atlantic Council. He's a former Army officer and Desert Storm vet. Views expressed here are his own. Follow James on Twitter @DrJJoyner.

Comments

  1. skillzy says:

    Mr. Kerry added that when he becomes president, he’ll fire any cabinet member who won’t quit after his political opponents call for his resignation.

    Does he not realize how stupid that sounds? If I’m his political opponent, I’m likely to oppose most of his cabinet and call for their resignations early and often, regardless of whether or not I have a good reason to. The slightest perceived slipup can be turned into a call for resignation. He’ll be dumping a lot of secretaries before people wise up and stop accepting job offers. At least he would be, if he meant one word of that crap.

  2. BigFire says:

    Re: skillzy

    Unfortunately, the truth is often too outrageous to parody. ScrappleNews is a parody news site in which actual event will overtake it.

  3. Tom says:

    BigFire,

    Bery true, Scott has been correct more often than anyone of us should feel comforatable with… lol

  4. Tom says:

    Or Very True

  5. Skillzy says:

    ARGH! Scrapplefaced! I hadn’t had enough caffeiene yet when I read that quote, didn’t notice the Scott Ott notation, and shot from the hip. Please erase all evidence of that embarassing comment before I have to call a lawyer.

  6. Skillzy says:

    And how sad is it that I could see Kerry actually saying that?

  7. Attila Girl says:

    Very nice, bringing Arlo Guthrie into this. I hate to admit it, but I still love that song.