Gay Military Economics

Scott Adams argues that gays in the military is inevitable owing to the equilibrium of the free market:

Today’s review of the headlines informs me that a sex offender tried to acquire an ice cream truck. In unrelated news, American Idol winner Ruben Studdard successfully sued his ex-manager for stealing money and credit cards.

These stories fit neatly into my economic theory that most salesmen of women’s shoes have foot fetishes. The theory is simple: People go wherever they can most easily fulfill their needs. Sex offenders go where the kids are: ice cream trucks and churches. Criminals go where the money is: banks, CEO jobs, convenience stores, and celebrities.


Based on the same economic theory, I predict that someday our entire military will be gay. If people are shooting at you, it goes down a lot easier if you’re huddling in a foxhole with a chiseled 20-year old and you can use lines such as, “Bruce, we might die today. But before we go…”


James Joyner
About James Joyner
James Joyner is Professor and Department Head of Security Studies at Marine Corps University's Command and Staff College and a nonresident senior fellow at the Scowcroft Center for Strategy and Security at the Atlantic Council. He's a former Army officer and Desert Storm vet. Views expressed here are his own. Follow James on Twitter @DrJJoyner.


  1. /snark on

    Maybe in the navy where you are at sea for months, but in the air force female companion ship shouldn’t be that far away.

    /snark off

  2. DC Loser says:

    I don’t know about gays in the military, but completely understand the womens shoe salesman bit 😛