Google Chrome OS Undocumented Features

The buzz yesterday was that Google has plans to develop its mediocre Chrome browser into a mediocre operating system by next summer.  Dave Rutledge speculates on some of its “undocumented features.”

  1. Your family photos are accompanied by text ads for skin care and diet plans.
  2. Removes all Falun Gong references from your files.
  3. Every month, the hard drive is automatically defragged and investigated for anti-trust violations.
  4. Invests in, develops, acquires, and abandons your best ideas.
  5. Integrated tax preparation software includes “I’m Feeling Lucky” deductible button.
  6. Changes your icons daily, forcing you to look up which obscure scientific figure is having a birthday.
  7. Spends 20% of its time not doing what you tell it to do.
  8. Prevents all evil activity unless it is deemed to be for the good of the shareholders.
  9. Masseuse comes by every Monday afternoon.
  10. Constant crashes won’t bother anybody as long as it’s labeled “Beta”.
  11. “Beta” status won’t expire until 2038.

About right, methinks.

FILED UNDER: Humor, Science & Technology
James Joyner
About James Joyner
James Joyner is Professor and Department Head of Security Studies at Marine Corps University's Command and Staff College and a nonresident senior fellow at the Scowcroft Center for Strategy and Security at the Atlantic Council. He's a former Army officer and Desert Storm vet. Views expressed here are his own. Follow James on Twitter @DrJJoyner.

Comments

  1. Derrick says:

    The text ads on pictures are really annoying, but count me as a fan. Love the speed and simplicity of it. If anyone really wants to try a fuller featured Chrome, google the Chromium version which has some extension support like Firefox.

  2. JKB says:

    Integrated tax preparation software includes “I’m Feeling Lucky” deductible button.

    Well that’s far better than tax prep software that has the Secretary of the Treasury’s Seal of Approval.

  3. Furhead says:

    I wonder if the year 2038 was picked on purpose. That is our next Y2K problem, because the number of seconds since January 1970 reaches the limit of a signed 32-bit integer.

  4. Michael says:

    Dave Rutledge speculates on some of its “undocumented features.”

    Still, it’s better than Vista.

  5. Michael says:

    I wonder if the year 2038 was picked on purpose. That is our next Y2K problem, because the number of seconds since January 1970 reaches the limit of a signed 32-bit integer.

    Not to worry, I’m hear they’ve implemented Y10K compliant dates.