Headline Of The Day, If Not The Week

Witnesses: Man drove 90 mph with genitals hanging out the window

The man in question is Former Mount Carmel (Tennessee) Vice-Mayor William Blakely, I’m going to guess that alcohol was involved.

H/T: The Right Sphere

FILED UNDER: Quick Takes
Doug Mataconis
About Doug Mataconis
Doug holds a B.A. in Political Science from Rutgers University and J.D. from George Mason University School of Law. He joined the staff of OTB in May 2010. Before joining OTB, he wrote at Below The BeltwayThe Liberty Papers, and United Liberty Follow Doug on Twitter | Facebook

Comments

  1. Jeremy says:

    Or Viagra.

  2. CSK says:

    I’m trying to visualize the mechanics of this, and failing utterly. In order to hang your genitals from the open window, wouldn’t you have to shove your lower torso up against the opening? Which would entail your right side being pressed against the car roof. In which case, it would be difficult if not impossible to steer and operate the gas pedal and brakes, and…oh, the hell with it.

  3. MarkedMan says:

    I’m with CSk. I need diagrams.

  4. JKB says:

    A lot of alcohol apparently since the report says the police got complaints for 3 or 4 years before one woman wrote down his license plate.

    One witness doesn’t go into detail but she did say this:

    “At over 90 miles per hour, he had his penis out [the window]… he was masturbating… and that’s when it got really, really bad.

    I’m not sure we want to know what “really, really bad” was probably scar our brains.

  5. John Burgess says:

    Hand controls would solve most of the physics and geometry problems.

    Alternatively, the Deputy Mayor could be extraordinarily well endowed.

    But alas… he most likely had the car on cruise control or just coasting. The article cites a speed of 90mph, so that’s a lot of free wheeling if you want.

  6. Mikey says:

    Yeah, that pretty much beats ferrets on steroids all to hell.

  7. michael reynolds says:

    So he drives a stick?

  8. OzarkHillbilly says:

    @michael reynolds:

    So he drives a stick?

    OWWW!. Not fair Michael, I’m trying to eat my lunch here.

  9. rodney dill says:

    @michael reynolds: but does he double clutch?

  10. C. Clavin says:

    So the Vice-Mayor is actually in charge of Vice in that town???

  11. Jeremy says:

    @michael reynolds: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand Michael wins the Internets for the day.

  12. David in KC says:

    Maybe he needed to turn left and his blinker was broken.

  13. M. Bouffant says:

    Truck Nutz.

  14. Phillip says:

    @rodney dill:

    but does he double clutch?

    If he can double-clutch at 90 MPH he deserves an award to go along with his newfound career in the private sector.

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