Teresa Heinz Kerry’s Arthritis Cure

Heinz Kerry pitches health care (Reno Gazette-Journal)

Heinz Kerry singled out U.S. drug companies for gouging seniors, saying that if her husband were elected, he would lift the U.S. Food and Drug Administration ban on the importation of drugs from Canada. “The president has said that you can’t trust the drugs coming in from Canada, well, there are a lot of things that you can’t trust,†Heinz Kerry said. “If they (drug companies) want to keep the cost of drugs, up, let them,†she said. “We will play the market. That is what Americans do.â€

She also criticized the commercial advertising of prescription drugs: “Personally, I think it creates a dilemma.†“It’s like cereal (advertising),†she said. “The more sugar, the more toys, the more kids want it.â€

Heinz Kerry, who spoke in a humorous but rambling style, signed autographs after her 40-minute talk followed by a panel discussion of local supporters on the plight of the nation’s health under the Bush administration. “I think it would be a great thing if we had a first lady like her,†said Renate Neumann, 65 and a Reno artist. “She is refreshing and honest. I like her better than her husband.â€

“Refreshing,” maybe. But she’s a loon. And I love the idea that the elderly are like children. Perhaps the drug companies should offer prizes in the bottom of every pill bottle.

Heinz Kerry ended with what she called “a highly effective†remedy for arthritis that drew laughter and some skepticism from the audience. “You get some gin and get some white raisins — and only white raisins — and soak them in the gin for two weeks,†she said. “Then eat nine of the raisins a day.†Despite the laughter, Dr. Steven Phillips, director of Geriatric Medicine at the University of Nevada quickly supported the prescription. Phillips, on stage with Heinz Kerry as part of the panel, said sulfur and sulfides found in grapes are increased by the alcohol and could perhaps alleviate joint pain. Dr. Michael Gerber, a noted homeopathic doctor in Reno, also said the formula has merit. “It makes sense,†said Gerber from his office. “People go to hot springs to soak in the water and that water is very high in sulfur. So Mrs. Kerry’s remedy is pretty plausible.â€

Dolores Jackson of Reno, a Kerry supporter who attended the rally, took the raisin and gin remedy seriously. “There are really other remedies where we don’t have to use so many drugs,†Jackson said. “I really believe in alternative medicine.â€


FILED UNDER: 2004 Election, Health, , , , ,
James Joyner
About James Joyner
James Joyner is Professor and Department Head of Security Studies at Marine Corps University's Command and Staff College. He's a former Army officer and Desert Storm veteran. Views expressed here are his own. Follow James on Twitter @DrJJoyner.


  1. dw says:

    The gin and raisins remedy has been around for a long time. There haven’t been any peer-reviewed studies on it (PubMed turns up nada), but there’s anecdotal evidence that it works.

  2. LJD says:

    She knows about raisins… It’s what her husband is going to do to the taxes… just keep RAISIN ’em. heh heh

  3. Brian J. says:

    Can I get the same preventative effects by drinking alcohol before I get arthritis?

    I am willing to participate in a double (drink yerself) blind study!

  4. Tom says:


    Can we meet and start a self directed study. I bet that the silver lining is that if the Kerrys win, Theresa can help us get funded by the government.


  5. Brian J. says:

    I call experiment gtoup. No placebos for me.

  6. Marc says:

    “She knows about raisins… It’s what her husband is going to do to the taxes… just keep RAISIN ‘em. heh heh”

    That could be true… but it’s more plausable, given Kerry’s war record, that raisins are what she fondles on the rare occasions she allows her boytoy near her.