I Want My Cheeseburger Right

Via Kevin Drum comes this amazingly stupid woman from South Orange County (to see a transcript click here). Apparently this woman was disappointed in her service at Carl’s Jr. Burger King so the dingbat called 911 and tied up the line for almost 2 and 1/2 minutes.

B: Okay. She GAVE me another hamburger, it’s wrong. I said 4 times, I said I want it, she said ‘Can you go park out in front’ I said NO, I want my hamburger RIGHT. So then the lady came to the manager or whoever she is and she came up and she said, um, she said um, ‘Do you want your money back’. I said no, my kids are hungry and I have to jump on that 12 freeway. I said I am not leaving this spot, and I said I will call the police, because I want my Western hamburger done RIGHT. Now is that so hard?

O: Okay, what exactly is it you want us to do for you?
B: Uh, send an officer down here. I want them to make my order right.
O: Ma’am, we’re not going to go down there and escort your Western bacon cheeseburger.
B: *pause* ….What am I supposed to do?

Many of you are probably wondering how somebody could be this stupid. I’m not. I used to live in South Orange County and this is not unusual, IMO.

B: *stunned* Well….that is, that, you’re supposed to be here to protect me.
O: Well what are we protecting you from, a wrong cheeseburger?

Actually I’d say she needs protection from her own stupidity. And the sad part is that this ding-a-ling has reproduced which means her stupid genes are not going to go away anytime soon.

Edit: Whoops. I heard western bacon cheeseburger and for some reason thought Carl’s Jr. Oh well, mistake corrected.

Update: Thanks to alert reader Scott_T it looks like the woman is even dumber than previously thought. He questioned whether Burger King has some sort of Western burger, so I went to the website and the answer appears to be no, there is no Western style burger. Maybe this dimwitted one thought she was at Carl’s and then ordered from the wrong menu. Of course given how dimwitted this woman is maybe she really is at Carl’s Jr. and thought she was at Burger King. I think this last one is also entirely possible considering that the woman keeps mixing up that she lives in San Clemente, but is in Laguna Niguel. The problems with dealing with the insanely stupid. Where is the aspirin…?

FILED UNDER: Humor, Policing,
Steve Verdon
About Steve Verdon
Steve has a B.A. in Economics from the University of California, Los Angeles and attended graduate school at The George Washington University, leaving school shortly before staring work on his dissertation when his first child was born. He works in the energy industry and prior to that worked at the Bureau of Labor Statistics in the Division of Price Index and Number Research. He joined the staff at OTB in November 2004.


  1. Tyler Stanley says:

    It just goes to show you in America you don’t have to be smart to reproduce, vote, drive, or live in California, kind of funny don’t you think

  2. Oh, there’s a “hey fellers, watch this!” funeral somewhere in her future.

    Such things happen when the family tree does not fork…

  3. Scott_T says:

    They played this on the radio about 7-10 days ago.

    The problem was that she was in a Burger King (not Carl’s Jr.), it’s in the 2nd line of the transcript. 🙂

    I don’t know if anyone knows for sure if she was 100% coherrent in calling 911. Like those pot smokers that call up 911 to report that have their pot was stolen…..

  4. Steve says:


    Thanks, I corrected the post.

  5. Scott_T says:

    Just to make it clear, I heard the audio on the radio when it was first released.

    Not frequenting BK, but do they have a “Western Burger” on their menu? That led me to think of the pot analogy.

    Her possibly ordering a Carls Jr. item from BK…

  6. Steve says:

    Oh my that would be funny. I don’t frequent BK either so it is hard to say.

  7. arky says:

    BK did have a limited offering a while back (It recurs periodically) of a western style burger. It had onion rings and BBQ sauce on it. I forget what it’s called, and can’t locate it on an english web site. I found a reference to a Rodeo Cheeseburger, but that doesn’t ring a big bell.

    Oh well, enough effort here…