Iowa Caucus Flashback (Updated)

Note: See below for more serious commentary.

With Ron Paul saying we’re “all Austrians now”, I was reminded of Howard Dean’s “scream” from eight years ago:

Not only are we going to New Hampshire, Tom Harkin, we’re going to South Carolina and Oklahoma and Arizona and North Dakota and New Mexico, and we’re going to California and Texas and New York … And we’re going to South Dakota and Oregon and Washington and Michigan, and then we’re going to Washington, D.C., to take back the White House! Yeah!

I prefer the following parody version more:

And you know something? You know something? Not only are we going to Space Mountain, we’re going to the tea cups and Mr. Toads Wild Ride and the Pirates of the Carribbean and the Jungle Adventure and the Matterhorn! We’re going to the Haunted Mansion and Main Street and It’s a Small World! And we’re going to the Tiki Room and the Country Bear Jamboree and the Luau and a character breakfast! And then we’re going to the Electric Light Parade. To take back Cinderella’s Castle! YEEEAAARGH!!

I haven’t seen my Twitter feed in a few minutes, but last I saw it was a two-way toss up between Santorum and Romney.

Update 10:40CT: Still a toss up between Santorum and Romney, Paul in third according to the CNN front page.

Another update: Lest someone thinks I’m being flippant about the Iowa Caucuses by putting that silly quote above, I am. Nevertheless, they are important, as Steven Taylor details here. I still consider it a clown show, but this clown show is how we currently determine our president. My preferred method, which will never happen, is that we have six primary days with the first one in January and containing five states. After that, we have five primary days with nine states each in them spread through the end of May.

The purpose of having the first primary day with only five states is to diminish the fundraising advantage and hopefully make the primaries competitive.

Update 11:26CT: I was going to try to stay up and post who wins, but I’ll close with this tweet from Jamil Smith:

Are we really going to fall into the trap, again, of being wowed by the rise of a surging GOP candidate who hadn’t been under the spotlight?

As far as I’m concerned, that says it all. This is Romney’s nomination to lose and if by some miracle Santorum gets it, he’ll be crushed by Obama because he’s too far outside the mainstream.

Update 11:40CT: I couldn’t resist one last update: at this moment Santorum leads by FIVE votes. What a nightmare.

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Robert Prather
About Robert Prather
Robert Prather contributed over 80 posts to OTB between October 2005 and July 2013. He previously blogged at the now defunct Insults Unpunished. Follow him on Twitter @RobPrather.


  1. Richard Gardner says:

    Living in the PNW where I can pick up “The Stranger” weekly alternative paper (in my downtown only, not that greatly distributed) edited by Dan Savage (of the Savage Love syndicated column) – I’ll have to say in this area at least the word “Santorum” elicits laughter. This is the one google-bomb that worked at least around here with double entendres (SP?). I’ve had lots of chuckles over now double-meaning headlines. (yes 1986, redefining words).

  2. @Richard Gardner: What is the PNW? As far as I’m concerned, Santorum deserves all the scorn that can be thrown at him.

  3. Richard Gardner says:

    PNW = Pacific North West. Like Seattle and Portlandia.

    Locally, Santorum is a frothy mix (censored) byproduct of anal sex. In this case early Google was overwhelmed so this is became the result.

    Sorry, you asked. And local rain will wash it away. (I’m guessing here)

  4. Anonne says:

    Pawlenty must have put his fist through a wall tonight.

  5. ponce says:

    And poor old Huck-huck-huckabee, afraid to go for a swim when the water was only a foot deep.