John Kerry: Vampire Slayer
Even though they don’t have access to Google, the Seattle Times occasionally manages to stumble on some interesting news: Kerry fights “Dracula” in Vietnam
Set aside the question of whether all politicians are bloodsuckers, and check out John Kerry in the latest issue of “Sword of Dracula” (Image, $2.95). The Democratic presidential candidate turns up for a sighting of the fanged one in an unusual place: Vietnam, 1968, where Kerry served in the U.S. Navy.
Kerry was in the Navy? And in Vietnam, no less? Why hasn’t this been mentioned previously?
Kerry doesn’t drive a stake through Nixon’s heart, and his appearance as a swift-boat skipper in the Mekong Delta is just a flashback within the modern-day “military horror” story Ã¢€” in which writer Jason Henderson reimagines Drac as the world’s foremost terrorist.
A swift-boat?! That’s positively scary. Didn’t John F. Kennedy skipper a swift-boat? And aren’t Kerry’s initials JFK, too? The coincidence is striking.
Combining Bram Stoker’s source novel with the real Romanian prince, and a drop of Japanese animÃƒ© influence, Henderson, 32, says from his Austin, Texas, crypt, “This is the guy, who in the 15th century was the greatest war criminal of all time. If he were alive today, he’d be a nightmare of a character.” Issue 5 of the six-issue arc just hit the stands (check your neighborhood comic shop or www.swordofdracula.com). Vampire-hunter Ronnie Van Helsing has captured her nemesis, but springs him to face an even greater horror. The black-and-white interior pages started as a cost-cutting measure, Henderson says. But producers of the “Die Hard” series and the coming “Spy Hunter” movie have optioned it, and a “Sword” video game is in the works.
Henderson says Kerry will be back, “because we’re going to have to find out what happened in 1968.” But why use him in the first place? “I didn’t put Kerry in to push a leftist doctrine. I just thought people deserved to remember that this man, when he was a young man, actually walked away from a wealthy and comfortable life and went to a place where there were pieces of metal flying around that could tear you apart.”
Indeed. Just think, Kerry could have been wounded and received a Purple Heart! I can’t believe the Democrats haven’t mentioned this until now. I suppose Kerry is just too modest to bring up his military service and doesn’t want to talk about what he went through over there. That’s how most people who’ve seen combat are, really.
It’s amazing what one can learn from comic books.
Hat tip: Rusty Shackleford