LITTLE RED RIDING CROP: This is just one of the children’s books Madonna might write according to Joe Queenan:

“Little Red Riding Crop.” An orphan raised by scheming trolls one day saves a whale from Japanese fishermen. In gratitude, the whale grants the child three wishes. The child’s first wish is for singing lessons. The second is for dancing lessons. The third is for a magic riding crop she can use to work over the dancers in her nightclub act. Madonna believes the fable will introduce children to S&M in a user-friendly environment, while allaying fears that the inability to sing or dance will necessarily prevent them from succeeding in show business.

An instant classic.

FILED UNDER: Environment, Popular Culture
James Joyner
About James Joyner
James Joyner is Professor and Department Head of Security Studies at Marine Corps University's Command and Staff College and a nonresident senior fellow at the Scowcroft Center for Strategy and Security at the Atlantic Council. He's a former Army officer and Desert Storm vet. Views expressed here are his own. Follow James on Twitter @DrJJoyner.