Lord’s Prayer for Modern Times

WaPo recently highlighted attempts to create a gender-neutral version of the New Testament. This string is among my favorites:

Mark 1:17 (Verse revised after release of the New Testament)

NIV: ” ‘Come, follow me,’ Jesus said, ‘and I will make you fishers of men.'”

TNIV (2002): ” ‘Come, follow me,’ Jesus said, ‘and I will send you out to catch people.’ ”

TNIV(2005): ” ‘Come, follow me,’ Jesus said, ‘and I will send you out to fish for people.’ “

Robert the LLama Butcher thinks it’s high time to remove feudal language (king, lord, etc.) and other outdated language. He has rewritten the former Lord’s Prayer. The first stanza goes something like this:

Our Friend, in your Happy Place,
We’re really comfortable with who you are.
May you realize your vision and find closure,
in our delicate eco-system, as within your own personal environment.

Go read the rest.

via Jen

FILED UNDER: Environment, Humor, Religion,
James Joyner
About James Joyner
James Joyner is Professor and Department Head of Security Studies at Marine Corps University's Command and Staff College and a nonresident senior fellow at the Scowcroft Center for Strategy and Security at the Atlantic Council. He's a former Army officer and Desert Storm vet. Views expressed here are his own. Follow James on Twitter @DrJJoyner.


  1. Baron says:

    And modern Christianity finds yet another way to marginalize itself. At this rate mainline Christianity should become completely irrelevant in the near future…


  2. McGehee says:

    Next version (2007): “Come with us,” Jesus said, “we’re going out for fish.”

  3. (2009) “Let’s go together as a group,” Jesus said, “to have soy protein bars, for fish have emotions, too.”

  4. I’m reminded of Garrison Keilor’s Unitarian version of the Lord’s Prayer:

    Someone, who may or may not be somewhere,
    Hallowed be thy name or names….