Martha Stewart Reports to Prison

Martha Stewart Reports to Prison (Reuters)

Trendsetter Martha Stewart arrived at a minimum-security prison known as “Camp Cupcake” under cover of early morning darkness on Friday to serve a five-month sentence for lying about a stock sale. Stewart, who built and ran the publicly traded company Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia Inc., arrived about eight hours in advance of 2 p.m. — the time she had to report to the country’s oldest federal prison for women.

Federal Bureau of Prisons spokeswoman Carla Wilson said Stewart, one of the America’s best-known personalities, was subjected to a strip search upon her arrival and had to squat and cough hard to check for hidden contraband. For the next five months, she will be known as prisoner No. 55170-054. “At approximately 6:15 a.m., Martha Stewart arrived at the Federal Prison Camp, Alderson, West Virginia, for service of her sentence,” a Federal Bureau of Prisons statement said.

Stewart told her fans through her Web site, “By the time you read this, I will have reported to a minimum-security prison in Alderson, West Virginia, to begin serving my five-month sentence.” The former chief executive, who vows to make a comeback, was found guilty in March of conspiracy, making false statements and obstruction of agency proceedings – all stemming from her suspicious sale of stock in biotech firm ImClone Systems Inc. on Dec. 27, 2001.

I certainly feel safer knowing that this vicious predator is off the streets. It’s only a matter of time, however, before she’s back terrorizing the public with 400 thread count sheets and tips for holiday decorating.

FILED UNDER: Popular Culture
James Joyner
About James Joyner
James Joyner is Professor and Department Head of Security Studies at Marine Corps University's Command and Staff College and a nonresident senior fellow at the Scowcroft Center for Strategy and Security at the Atlantic Council. He's a former Army officer and Desert Storm vet. Views expressed here are his own. Follow James on Twitter @DrJJoyner.

Comments

  1. Meezer says:

    Well, I think she’s pretty frightening. Any woman who can tell another, straight-faced, that, “It really takes no time to carve 200 kohlrabbi into Michelangelos’ David, and they set off the table service so nicely,” is barking mad.

  2. paladin says:

    Especially insidious are those recipes taking longer than 30 minutes to prepare.