Martinis and Breasts

“Christopher Hitchens says that martinis are like breasts: One is one too few, while three is one too many.”  – via Andrew Exum, who recommends doubling that recommendation to ward off the swine flu.

I’m not so sure about Exum’s medical advice — although he is a doctor (of philosophy) — but Hitchens’ advice is both sound and a superb mnemonic device.

Photo via Flickr user MLHS under Creative Commons license.

FILED UNDER: Uncategorized, , , , ,
James Joyner
About James Joyner
James Joyner is Professor and Department Head of Security Studies at Marine Corps University's Command and Staff College. He's a former Army officer and Desert Storm veteran. Views expressed here are his own. Follow James on Twitter @DrJJoyner.


  1. Steve Verdon says:

    So having 1 is bad, and so is 3. But 2 is okay…so is 4 like having a threesome?

  2. Tlaloc says:

    Anyone who believe Hitchens ever stops at two is a damn fool.

  3. James Joyner says:

    Anyone who believe Hitchens ever stops at two is a damn fool.

    My sense is that Hitchens gets to two and then maintains that equilibrium.

  4. Just don’t ask about the olives.

  5. Dantheman says:

    Should they be shaken or stirred?

  6. “Two or three at the most;
    After four, I’m under the table.
    After five, I’m under my host.”

    –Dorothy Parker

  7. legion says:

    You’ll note that Hitch makes no comment on _how big_ those two martinis should be.

    Comments on how big breasts should be are a completely unrelated discussion 🙂

  8. FranklinTest says:

    Don’t the French say something about the perfect breast fitting inside a martini glass?