Messy Matrimony Musings

I’d seen the news that John Stamos and Rebecca Romijn-Stamos are splitting up and didn’t give it much thought (Rebecca’s almost certainly too high maintenace for me) until I saw Laurence Simon’s post explaining, “Apparently he wanted kids, she didn’t.” Isn’t that the kind of thing you decide upon before entering into an “until death do you part” type of arrangement?

On a similar vein, Michael Demmons ponders the wisdom of inter-faith marriages:

[H]ow can a Christian reconcile marrying a Jew – someone who denies that Jesus is the Son of God. Or, vice versa, how may a Jew marry someone who, in effect, is worshipping someone that claims to be the Son of God? Essentially, each is marrying someone who, while the other may “respect” his or her beliefs, denies what is supposed to be their spouse’s highest priority in life.

One would think trouble would ensue, no? Especially if they’re planning on raising kids together?

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James Joyner
About James Joyner
James Joyner is Professor and Department Head of Security Studies at Marine Corps University's Command and Staff College. He's a former Army officer and Desert Storm veteran. Views expressed here are his own. Follow James on Twitter @DrJJoyner.


  1. Well, I suppose it would require respect for the other person’s religion, and a view of your own religion that (a) sees it as true, and (b) recognizes the equal sincerity of others’ search for similar truths, and that they may find them in different places from you. I suppose it would require that one not only agree to accept people of differing faiths in your community, but see them as possibly worth loving. It might even require a willingness to raise your kids to respect others’ religious beliefs, and to make their own faith commitment (if any) carefully and from a position of knowledge.

    Stupid, I know, but some people are like that.

  2. James Joyner says:


    That’s fine if religion is nothing more than philosophy. But (as is clear from Michael’s entire post) if you believe that Jesus (or whatever) is the most important thing there is, then how one could raise one’s kids otherwise baffles me.

    I’m personally agnostic and rather anti-theistic. I could be with someone who’s casually religious but someone who’s truly devout and I would get on each other’s nerves once the intial romantic euphoria wore off. And I can’t imagine trying to raise my kids in a mixed situation. “Well, mommy believes the world is controlled by invisible spirits. . . .”

  3. When did I write that?
    ATS is a GROUP blog, dude. 😉


  4. jen says:

    Yeah, I would have thought a discussion about kids would have happened before the Stamos’ married. And yet, it is one issue that ends a lot of marriages. Pre-marital counseling would help with the lack of communication on important issues that a lot of couples ignore before tying the knot.

    As for the faith issue, James, you’re right. Interfaith marriages are a bad idea, especially for the devout.

  5. Rob says:

    Rebecca Romijn is high-maintenance like a lamborghini is high-maintenance.

    That kind of neediness I can live with.

  6. cas says:

    I just spoke yesterday to a co-worker who was raised catholic, and she married a man who was rasied jewish. Since neither one was devout, they maaried at and attend a Unitarian church. But she is having second thoughts about this arraingement, becuase she doesn’t feel satisfied spiritually. When I raised the question of future children, she became very quiet, except to say she wasn’t sure anymore.

  7. David Ross says:

    Well, “if you believe [Jeebus] is the most important thing there is”, or that you’re not “spiritually fulfilled” with the real world – then you’re irrational.

    We’re ALL better off when looney-tuners like these don’t breed. So this post is actually GOOD news! :^)