Mitt Romney To Fight Evander Holyfield For Charity

With future Presidential ambitions apparently out of the picture, Mitt Romney appears to be moving on to a new career:

Forget about Manny Pacquiao and Floyd Mayweather, the real fight of the century is scheduled for May 15 when Mitt Romney enters the ring to battle Evander Holyfield in Salt Lake City.

Yes, you read that right. Romney, the former Massachusetts governor, and Holyfield, the five-time heavyweight titleholder who smacked around the likes of Mike Tyson and George Foreman, are going to lace up gloves and duke it out in a charity exhibition.

However, Romney has no delusions about actually winning this contest.

“It will either be a very short fight, or I will be knocked unconscious,” Romney told the Salt Lake City Tribune. “It won’t be much of a fight. We’ll both suit up and get in the ring and spar around a little bit.”

A portion of the proceeds will help support Charity Vision, which provides doctors and facilities in poverty-stricken areas with equipment and resources to carry out eye operations.

Romney may be on to something here. I’m betting a lot of people would pay good money to watch politicians get hit by retired boxers. Heck, maybe we could even use this to help pay down the national debt.

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Doug Mataconis
About Doug Mataconis
Doug Mataconis held a B.A. in Political Science from Rutgers University and J.D. from George Mason University School of Law. He joined the staff of OTB in May 2010 and contributed a staggering 16,483 posts before his retirement in January 2020. He passed far too young in July 2021.

Comments

  1. C. Clavin says:

    I guess Romney likes losing at anything…not just elections.

  2. al-Ameda says:

    Why does anyone bother to write fiction anymore?

  3. gVOR08 says:

    I’d pay serious money if it were a real match. Unfortunately it’s a sparring demo. When he says, “It will either be a very short fight, or I will be knocked unconscious,” Romney’s lying. Imagine that.

  4. michael reynolds says:

    Oh, come on, I think it’s cool of Romney. It’s a good cause, it’s an amusing gimmick, and in no way makes me think this is Step #1 on the road to a nationwide contest of teenagers fighting for food. Go District 12!

  5. CSK says:

    @michael reynolds:

    Agree. The cause is good, and it’s a funny gimmick. Why not?

  6. michael reynolds says:

    @CSK:
    I do hope they’ve got him in head gear, though. A lot of people don’t realize that a professional boxer’s punch is not the same punch that gets thrown in a bar brawl. Holyfield could literally kill Romney before Romney could fall to the canvas.

    Which would be funny, too, but in a rather darker vein.

  7. Gustopher says:

    The Republicans should adopt a more free-form brawl to help winnow down the field in their primary. See who really wants it, and what they are willing to do.

    Because, one of the key qualities we look for in a leader is someone who is tough, strong, and willing to make hard choices quickly. Basically, someone who is willing to beat someone unconcious with a folding chair.

  8. Pinky says:

    The Man Who Beat Foreman
    versus
    The Mormon!

  9. CSK says:

    @Pinky:

    Or…

    Holy Field versus Holy Underwear

  10. Tillman says:

    I tried so hard not to click on this headline…

  11. Pinky says:

    “It will be a very short fight,” Romney told the Salt Lake City Tribune. “It won’t be much of a fight. I’ve been training for three years for this. I’m in the best shape of my life. Come after me in SLC? I’ll drop you. Evander’s a has-been. It’s my time now.”

    “Remember Denver? I had the sitting president on the ropes all night. Punishment time”, Romney added emphatically, “punishment time!”

  12. James Pearce says:

    @Tillman: I clicked on it to hear the punchline.

    Bizarre. And I predict…a bit awkward too.

  13. rodney dill says:

    Head or gut?