MMMM. . . SPAM
I love spam – and not only because I just placed an order for a guaranteed system that will enlarge my penis so that I can use it to clean my septic tank while playing solitaire with a deck of Iraq’s Most Wanted cards. (As long as I’m sharing, I should mention that I only paid $59.99 for all this, using the same unsecured credit card that allowed me to take advantage of Mr. Kwame Ashantee’s generous and urgent invitation to invest heavily in the Ghana Gold and Diamond Mining Corporation. As a highly valued early investor, I also received 30 lbs. of herbal Viagra and refinanced my mortgage at the absolute lowest rate of negative 3.4 percent. Who said the Internet hasn’t delivered the goods?)
Even as spam clogs my inbox the way the Atkins Diet is clogging colons all over the country – I’d venture that as much as 90 percent of my email is spam (and that’s not even counting unsolicited messages from my staff) – I remain thankful for the wonderful alternative universes that the junk opens up for me. Who knew, for instance, that barnyard animals enjoyed such interesting, if libertine, lifestyles? Charlotte’s Web and even Animal Farm never prepared us for the inter-species hijinks going down at cyberspace’s take on the Farmer in the Dell.
I also find the byline funny, although this may be unintentional:
Nick Gillespie is editor-in-chief of Reason, which was just named one of the “50 Best Magazines” by the Chicago Tribune.
I mean, how many magazines are there, anyway?