Nerdiest Joke Ever?

Paul Grenfell nominates this vanity plate of a Volkswagon Beetle (affectionately known as a "Bug") with vanity plate "Feature"

Paul Grenfell nominates this vanity plate:



James Joyner
About James Joyner
James Joyner is Professor and Department Head of Security Studies at Marine Corps University's Command and Staff College. He's a former Army officer and Desert Storm veteran. Views expressed here are his own. Follow James on Twitter @DrJJoyner.


  1. rodney dill says:

    …because, Secondary Software Characteristic would be too long.

  2. Franklin says:

    Not bad. My personal favorite, which is somewhat multidisciplinary, is:

    “What do you get when you cross a tsetse fly with a mountain climber?”
    “Nothing. You can’t cross a vector with a scaler!”

  3. Franklin says:

    BTW, kudos to whoever put that on an original Bug, not one of the character-less modern versions.

  4. Greg says:

    I can totally relate 😉

  5. My nerdiest joke:

    Erwin Schroedinger, Kurt Goedel, and Noam Chomsky walk into a bar. Schroedinger goes, “wait a second, I think we may be in a joke. I wish we could tell if it was funny.” Goedel goes, “we’re in the joke; it’s mathematically impossible for us to tell if the joke is funny from the inside.” Chomsky responds, “Of course it’s funny, you’re just telling it wrong.”

  6. Liberal Capitalist says:

    Two scientists walk into a bar.

    The first one says “I’ll have some H2O”.

    The second one says “I’ll have some H2O too”.

    The second one dies.

  7. grumpy realist says:

    What’s purple and commutes?

    An Abelian grape.

    (I actually used this as the basis for a Halloween costume. Nobody at my law firm got it, even though we’re all patent lawyers.)

  8. ernieyeball says:

    Sure sign of dementia.
    It has been at least three hours since I first saw this picture.
    I just got it…

  9. rodney dill says:

    – To be or not to be, equals FF

    – There are 10 kinds of people. Those that understand binary and those that don’t.

  10. rodney dill says:

    What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass?


  11. grumpy realist says:

    @ernieyeball: If it had been on one of the real old Volkswagen Bugs and shot from a slightly different angle I bet you would have had no difficulty.

    It wasn’t until I identified what type of car it was that I caught the joke.

  12. ernieyeball says:

    @grumpy realist:..If it had been on one of the real old Volkswagen Bugs and shot from a slightly different angle I bet you would have had no difficulty.

    Thank you for your solace. However it would be more aptly directed at Laura Bassett.
    As I read Franklin’s 10:19 post (…the one that has the word bug in it…) I said to myself: “That’s not an original bug. The tail lights are too big!”
    I still didn’t get it.
    I call it brain rot. At 67 I live with it every day. It bugs me to death…

  13. Franklin says:

    @ernieyeball: Sorry, I didn’t mean the *very* original one, I was just loosely referring to old vs. new Beetles. Heh.

    Anyway, I presume your avatar is from Michigan. Are you also a Great Lake State dweller?

  14. ernieyeball says:

    I am counting a Great Lake State as one of the eight Nifty Fifty that has borders defined by one of the five Great Lakes.
    In my youth I lived on the shores of Lake Ontario enduring 12 brutal winters in Rochester NY. I have traveled US Route 20 along the beaches of Lake Erie in Pennsylvania and Ohio in the ’50s before the Interstates were built.
    The Indiana Dunes were a great place to drink and try to pick up girls when I was in High School.
    IL, IN, MI, NY, OH and WI are 6 of the 14 states I visited to ply my trade in the landline telephone industry.
    So yeah, I have spent my fair share of time in the region.
    Today I live in Illinois a good 300 miles south of that summer playground.
    That’s fine with me.
    Especially in the winter as I see reports of lake effect snow or the New York State Thruway closed at Buffalo.

  15. apk says:

    @grumpy realist:

    While it’s not really old, it’s a 74, built in early September 73, one of the first off the floor near as I could tell from the VIN.

    How do I know? It’s my car.

  16. ernieyeball says:

    @apk:..It’s my car.

    Far out!
    Where have U been the last 13 days, China?