Monday, January 1, 2007
Time for Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
by Rodney Dill — TIME MAGAZINE Person Of The Year — 2006
Winners will be announced Thursday PM
Whoa, I can’t swim…
The destruction of American foreign policy complete, the remaining Neocons of the GOP cross the Potomac River to take on the challenge of revamping Baltimore city governance.
Hut-one Hut-two Where we headin’
I don’t know we was never told, three four.
Hut-one Hut-two Not goin in the water
Way too cold, three four.
Would you quit saying…”It’s either sink or swim”
“Now children, don’t get too close to the people. They carry diseases and can attack even when unprovoked.”
Documented proof! Of course, it took an underwearless Britney to get us all out here.
Rags to wipe oil off penguins: $4.00
Patagonia outerwear: $840.00
Sony Blu-Ray TV Camera: $4,200.00
Feeling superior to the rest of humanity: Priceless
The democrats on parade….
The Disney corporation decided to go with lemmings after his first attempt at creating a mass drowning suicide failed.
“The Race to Drown Each Other Before the Democrats Take Over Congress”
Sadly, the people sending the penguins off failed to see the Orcas circling offshore….
I’m telling you, the first sign of oil…I’M OUTTA HERE!
The 2007 edition of the annual New Year’s day swim and polar bears have become an endangered species.
Following their press conference, the penguins prepared to swim north, proceeding with their plan to protest the depiction of penguins in the movie “Happy Feet”
All dressed in tuxedos, they were ready for a formal send off!
After the formal and seemingly dignified farewell ceremony at the U.N., Kofi Annan and his administration are bid a farewell after being shown the back door and the “way home” via the East River.
“Have any of you humans seen an iceberg around here? It’s white, craggy, and 90% of it is underwater. We’re sure we parked it around here somewhere.”
Lark of the Penguins.
The environmentalists cheered, not knowing that merely 110 meters offshore an equally jubilant orca was awaiting the arrival of lunch.
Penguins think, “What a bunch of conformists. Every year they show up with cameras, just like lemmings”
“I’ve told you a thousand times to watch your step! If my feet ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!”
While the penguins didn’t share in the financial success of the movies “March of the penguins” and “Happy feet”, they are enjoying the benefit of a human wind break.
Nifong conducts a lineup for a child to determine what species of animal attacked her.
Penguins at the bus stop!
Damn – didn’t read fluffy’s comment before submitting the orca one. I take it back.
1) Danger! Penguin Crossing
2) The latest “wave” of illegal immigrants coming to America to look for work. With the success of “Happy Feet” and “March of the Pengiuns” and a lack-luster immigration bill (which ignores Antartica) pending they know they can find work.
3) Excuse us! We’re shuffling off to Buffalo.
4) Middle-of-the-pack Penguin. “I knew I should of taken that left turn at Alber…, Alber…, New Mexico!”
Capitalizing on the red hot penguin-mania gripping Hollywood, the second unit prepares to film the iconic “running on the beach” scene from Mel Gibson’s new, and controversia, all-penguin remake of the classic movie “Chariots of Fire”. It’s the story of two very young, and different penguins, that find a common bond through catching and eating fish. The current working title is “Chars of Fire”, and the movie will be in Penguinese with sub-titles.
In the glory of the sunset,
In the purple mists of evening,
To the regions of the home-wind,
Of the Northwest-Wind, Keewaydin,
To the Islands of the Blessed,
To the Kingdom of Ponemah,
To the Land of the Hereafter!
Ebony and ivory live together in perfect harmony, side by side on my penguins’ feathers, oh Lord, why can’t we?
Open auditions for Antarctic Idol have begun!
Man in blue jacket: “Oh, intercourse the penguins, I’m cold. Let’s go see what’s on the tele.”
Moments later, in Mel Gibson’s Antarcticalypto, the penguins turn on their human benefactors…
Shake a tail feather fellas, we have another press conference at noon.
“Don’t you humans know, its horses you lead to water not penguins”!
Leader: Benny, Christmas is over, will you stop singing Christmas Carols.
Benny: I wasn’t. I was just singing “No-whales, No-whales”
“Hey, I thought this was supposed to be a formal event? I wore my tux for this?”
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