Time for the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
Monday, April 11, 2011
Winners will be announced Thursday
“I can choke back tears with the best of ’em, I tell you.”
“Suck wind, Ray Bolger… I do too have a brain!”
“With the thoughts I’d be thinkin’ I could be another Lincoln. If I only had a brain.”
Note to self: Do not schedule Botox treatments so close to a floor speech again.
Negotiating with Obama is like taking candy from a diabetic baby.
If I time this Silent But Deadly right they’ll blame Reid when he gets to the mic.
When Boehner gets stiff, he leans to the right.
What, Me worry?
The budget negotiating session ended in a heated round of “I’m thinking of a number, what is it?”
I laughed. I cried. I kissed $1.5T goodbye.
Boehner held his breath until he turned blue enough to agree that cutting 0.86% of the budget would solve all our problems.
I always wondered what became of Howdy Doody….
the cat who ate the canary
Obama lays out his deficit reduction plan. Boehner tries to hold in his response.
Michael Scott, Dunber-Mifflen paper salesman goes to Washington
Oompa Loompa Dommpadee Doo
I’ve Got A Perfect Budget For You
John Boehner reacts to the AP report that Madonna is still a virgin.
Boehner now understands the Chris Matthews’ comment about Obama giving him a thrill up his leg.
Boehner also wants Mataconis to have a brain.
Boehner regretted following the advice to picture the Washington Press Corps naked before his speech.
First it was Reid with his soft-spoken demeanor; now Boehner with his tear-jerking displays — I’m telling you we need a law on the books that no one in Congress can wear a pink tie!
WWJWD? (What would John Wayne do?)
Boehner glances up at the debt clock and knows he only has 3 billion dollars to end this nightmare of a press conference.
Same as it ever was.
The deficit has become so large it has started generating its own gravitational field.
“How do I spell relief?…How’s that for y-all?”
John Boehner takes a moment to explain to the press how he spells relief, phonetically.
As Boehner finally morphs into a bubba, he is embarrassed to find himself stepping out of his fancy Italian shoes and fighting a desire to take off his necktie in the midst of a press conference.
“Palm fronds? Palm fronds? Who is the idiot on my staff who thought that four American flags would look good with palm fronds?”
“I am trying to demonstrate visually to the Tea Party that I do indeed lean to the right.”
Constipated. Try Ex-Lax.
“I don’t care, Obama is awesome!”
Boehner: “I feel pretty, oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and bright.”
A Man of the People: John Boehner’s reaction having heard a six-year-old girl was searched by TSA, while he is not.
John Boehner on TSA pat-down of 6-year-old girl: “I don’t know. Maybe her parents were Democrats?”
John Boehner on TSA pat-down of 6-year-old girl: “I don’t know. Maybe she should run for public office like me?”
John Boehner on TSA pat-down of 6-year-old girl: “I’ll be introducing a bill on the floor tomorrow that prevent this tragedy from ever happening again. It will make it illegal to videotape any TSA searches, except for training purposes only.”
John Boehner on TSA pat-down of 6-year-old girl: “And, um, what did they find on her?”
In an attempt to lead by example, as a senior statesman, the freshman Tea Party members of Congress on the nation’s debt-ceiling crisis, John Boehner decides to hold his breath.
John Boehner on TSA pat-down of 6-year-old girl: “I’ll be introducing a bill on the floor tomorrow that [will] prevent this tragedy from ever happening again. It will make it illegal to videotape any TSA searches, except for training purposes only.”
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