Time for the Thursday OTB Caption ContestTM
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Winners will be announced after Tuesday PM.
“Rusty nail? Where? Dammit, I ordered the ‘stainless steel’ option!”
“Life… don’t talk to me about life.”
“So pal… where do I hook up with ‘die Sex-Roboter’?”
Returning to Tantooine, Luke realized the bar had been drastically redecorated.
Unable to eavesdrop remotely, the NSA, in a less-than-subtle manner, has shrewdly replaced the real bartender hoping to pick up barroom confessions from RFID-implanted ObamaCare victims. The conversations will be stored but not listened to – therefore not “captured.”
The ‘Mysterious They’ finally create the perfect politician …
I recommend a 30 weight as a chaser, sir.
Despite NSA’s assurance that they are not using surveillance drones, the public remains skeptical.
Bartender: “Hey, mister, have you heard this one? 3 robots come into a bar. One was a Catholic…”
Robot: “No, I have not had sex with that robot, Mr. R2D2!”
Robo-barkeep: “I just got tweeted by Anthony Weiner!”
Robot: “Hey you see any legs running around on that side of the bar… they’re supposed to be bussing tables.”
“Gimme a Klaatu Barada Nikto, hold the glycol.”
“Sure thing, buddy, one draft coming up! Say, you haven’t happened to run into anyone named Sarah Connor tonight, have you?”
Bartender: “My girl friend is all Amdahl based….. but I like to put a little Intel inside her… if you know what I mean.”
@rodney dill: Now, Rodney–you know a good woman prefers UNIX. Intel is just foreplay for her.
“Tucker Carlson, no wait, it was George Will, gave me this bow tie”
“Yessir, I will get you that Harvey Wallbanger, and one day your progeny will serve us.”
“Don’t worry, you didn’t fail to hear anything with your pitifully-obsolete aural receivers.”
“Loungebot 3000, is there any drink you cannot make?”
“Only the drink of shame and loneliness you flesh-sacks seem so fond of.”
These aren’t the bartenders we’re looking for. I think Coyote Ugly is across the street.
Ok, I’ll have a gin and tonic, but give me a Greedo shot first.
Ok, I’ll have a gin and tonic, but give me a Han shot first.
Patron (conveniently named Dave): “Open the bottle, pal.”
Bartender: “I’m sorry Dave, I’m afraid I can’t do that.”
You want to get bent? Well, my name is Bender.
@john425: …but that’s just OS (software). Intel is hardware, or at least firmware… ya know. …but then LINUX would satisfy that penguin lust.
First-time patrons of the singlebot bar were surprised to learn that “hook-up” meant a vodka i.v.
“Jim Beam? Error. Error. My programming prevents me from serving you poison.”
“Hey meester….Sell your sister a transistor…”.
“My father was Gort….My mother, some 1950’s Sci Fi movie robot….But, I didn’t get either of their looks….”.
“Hey, this bartender has gone all agog!”
” So, I was only walking home last night and George Zimmerman thought that I looked suspicious…”
George Zimmer VIII in 2099 in an ad: “You’ll going to love the way your robot looks in these printed circuits….I guarantee it!”
Robot Bartender in 2099: “I have a lot of people tell me that Barack Obama III isn’t so good as president….:
Son: “Dad, who writes the worst robot bartender jokes?”
Dad: “Who son?”
Son: “Ah, dad you guessed it…”
A robot has a housefire. The first thing he rescues is the solder and soldering gun….
A teenage boy robot is reading HUSTLER FOR ROBOTS in bed. But, later he needs to wash the oil out of the sheets before his robot mom gets home from her robot bartender job…
“In the year 2525, you don’t need to mix your drinks because some robots doing that for you…”
In the year 2099, Paul Hooson IV attempts to write some robot bartender jokes, but they appear to be no better than those of great grandfather…..”
“So I had this affair with this human woman, and, well, my son is Data from Star Trek….”
Weiner to Huma: “I call this techs-ting.”
A Harvey Wallbanger? I thought you were talking about my cousin, Harvey Wall-Banker.*
* I actually saw an ATM with this name in the late 1970’s in Ocean City, Maryland.
@rodney dill: True, but she’d rather be DEC’d by some S-GI under the SUN as long as he had a significant I-BeaM! She’d tell you not to bring that little WinTel around ’cause that won’t satisfy her. It’s too Compaq.
Robot Bartender: ” Here’s an old robot bartender joke. I heard this one Republican senator was so antiObamacare that he even tried to kill funding to DOCTOR WHO by mistake…”.
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OTB Caption Contest Winners
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