OTB Caption Contest

Time for the Thursday OTB Caption ContestTM

Time for the Thursday OTB Caption ContestTM


robotbartender

Reuters Photo by FABRIZIO BENSCH/REUTERS

Winners will be announced after Tuesday PM.

FILED UNDER: Contests
Rodney Dill
About Rodney Dill
Rodney is an IT Implementation Consultant in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He contributed to OTB from November 2004 until retiring in July 2017, hosting some 1200 OTB Caption Contests.

Comments

  1. Jenos Idanian #13 says:

    “Rusty nail? Where? Dammit, I ordered the ‘stainless steel’ option!”

  2. Jenos Idanian #13 says:

    “Life… don’t talk to me about life.”

  3. John Burgess says:

    “So pal… where do I hook up with ‘die Sex-Roboter’?”

  4. Mu says:

    Returning to Tantooine, Luke realized the bar had been drastically redecorated.

  5. Tony W says:

    Unable to eavesdrop remotely, the NSA, in a less-than-subtle manner, has shrewdly replaced the real bartender hoping to pick up barroom confessions from RFID-implanted ObamaCare victims. The conversations will be stored but not listened to – therefore not “captured.”

  6. John D'Geek says:

    The ‘Mysterious They’ finally create the perfect politician …

  7. Moosebreath says:

    I recommend a 30 weight as a chaser, sir.

  8. Hal 10000 says:

    Despite NSA’s assurance that they are not using surveillance drones, the public remains skeptical.

  9. john425 says:

    Bartender: “Hey, mister, have you heard this one? 3 robots come into a bar. One was a Catholic…”

    Robot: “No, I have not had sex with that robot, Mr. R2D2!”

    Robo-barkeep: “I just got tweeted by Anthony Weiner!”

  10. rodney dill says:

    Robot: “Hey you see any legs running around on that side of the bar… they’re supposed to be bussing tables.”

  11. Jenos Idanian #13 says:

    “Gimme a Klaatu Barada Nikto, hold the glycol.”

  12. Pinky says:

    “Sure thing, buddy, one draft coming up! Say, you haven’t happened to run into anyone named Sarah Connor tonight, have you?”

  13. rodney dill says:

    Bartender: “My girl friend is all Amdahl based….. but I like to put a little Intel inside her… if you know what I mean.”

  14. john425 says:

    @rodney dill: Now, Rodney–you know a good woman prefers UNIX. Intel is just foreplay for her.

  15. al-Ameda says:

    “Tucker Carlson, no wait, it was George Will, gave me this bow tie”

  16. Tillman says:

    “Yessir, I will get you that Harvey Wallbanger, and one day your progeny will serve us.”
    “What?”
    “Don’t worry, you didn’t fail to hear anything with your pitifully-obsolete aural receivers.”

  17. Tillman says:

    “Loungebot 3000, is there any drink you cannot make?”
    “Only the drink of shame and loneliness you flesh-sacks seem so fond of.”

  18. He who must not be named says:

    These aren’t the bartenders we’re looking for. I think Coyote Ugly is across the street.

  19. He who must not be named says:

    Ok, I’ll have a gin and tonic, but give me a Greedo shot first.

  20. He who must not be named says:

    Ok, I’ll have a gin and tonic, but give me a Han shot first.

  21. He who must not be named says:

    Patron (conveniently named Dave): “Open the bottle, pal.”
    Bartender: “I’m sorry Dave, I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

  22. He who must not be named says:

    You want to get bent? Well, my name is Bender.

  23. rodney dill says:

    @john425: …but that’s just OS (software). Intel is hardware, or at least firmware… ya know. …but then LINUX would satisfy that penguin lust.

  24. CSK says:

    First-time patrons of the singlebot bar were surprised to learn that “hook-up” meant a vodka i.v.

  25. Tillman says:

    “Jim Beam? Error. Error. My programming prevents me from serving you poison.”

  26. Paul Hooson says:

    “Hey meester….Sell your sister a transistor…”.

  27. Paul Hooson says:

    “My father was Gort….My mother, some 1950’s Sci Fi movie robot….But, I didn’t get either of their looks….”.

  28. Paul Hooson says:

    “Hey, this bartender has gone all agog!”

  29. Paul Hooson says:

    ” So, I was only walking home last night and George Zimmerman thought that I looked suspicious…”

  30. Paul Hooson says:

    George Zimmer VIII in 2099 in an ad: “You’ll going to love the way your robot looks in these printed circuits….I guarantee it!”

  31. Paul Hooson says:

    Robot Bartender in 2099: “I have a lot of people tell me that Barack Obama III isn’t so good as president….:

  32. Paul Hooson says:

    Son: “Dad, who writes the worst robot bartender jokes?”

    Dad: “Who son?”

    Son: “Ah, dad you guessed it…”

  33. Paul Hooson says:

    A robot has a housefire. The first thing he rescues is the solder and soldering gun….

  34. Paul Hooson says:

    A teenage boy robot is reading HUSTLER FOR ROBOTS in bed. But, later he needs to wash the oil out of the sheets before his robot mom gets home from her robot bartender job…

  35. Paul Hooson says:

    “In the year 2525, you don’t need to mix your drinks because some robots doing that for you…”

  36. Paul Hooson says:

    In the year 2099, Paul Hooson IV attempts to write some robot bartender jokes, but they appear to be no better than those of great grandfather…..”

  37. Paul Hooson says:

    “So I had this affair with this human woman, and, well, my son is Data from Star Trek….”

  38. Weiner to Huma: “I call this techs-ting.”

  39. Moosebreath says:

    A Harvey Wallbanger? I thought you were talking about my cousin, Harvey Wall-Banker.*

    * I actually saw an ATM with this name in the late 1970’s in Ocean City, Maryland.

  40. john425 says:

    @rodney dill: True, but she’d rather be DEC’d by some S-GI under the SUN as long as he had a significant I-BeaM! She’d tell you not to bring that little WinTel around ’cause that won’t satisfy her. It’s too Compaq.

  41. Paul Hooson says:

    Robot Bartender: ” Here’s an old robot bartender joke. I heard this one Republican senator was so antiObamacare that he even tried to kill funding to DOCTOR WHO by mistake…”.